


Within Risk of Reason

by Depths



Category: One Piece
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Brotherly Love, Dissociation, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, None of them are exactly the poster boy for mental stability, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Denial, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, another asl time travel fic bc i among many of us have a problem, especially future!sabo he’s off his shit all the time, trauma and surprise time travel does that to u
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2020-07-12 21:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 61,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19953004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Depths/pseuds/Depths
Summary: Sabo stared and thought, for a single, absolutely calm moment:fuck, I must be dead.Dead and dreaming,he decided, staring down at his two brothers. His dead brother, and his littlest brother, glaring him down from the center of a burning junkyard.





	1. from one peril to another

Things had escalated so much quicker than he had planned for. 

Granted, as the Revolutionary's Chief of Staff, Sabo was more than prepared to handle unfortunate circumstances. The inability to be flexible could easily get more than just him captured and killed, after all. 

_“Shit!”_ He ducked in time to avoid a laser beam narrowing missing the brim of his hat, wincing at the screech of metal behind him. Sabo hadn’t yet adjusted to being impervious to so many debilitating attacks yet— though, as he glanced at the mess of molten metal and shrapnel behind him he decided it was... probably better that way. _A cocky logia is a dead logia,_ a voice suspiciously like Koala's nagged insistently.

With this in mind, he carefully leaped back as a Pacifista slammed its palm where he had just been crouched. The crater was just big enough for Sabo to stumble on its edge. "Shit", he grit out, wobbling precariously. The Pacifista charged him without an ounce of recognition.

 _Just like the last three,_ Sabo reminded himself. He tried in vain not to shudder. _Kuma deserved better than to become this._ Gritting his teeth, he swung his pipe in an arc of flame. 

Kuma-Not-Kuma's face metal face shrieked as it caved in under his pipe. His familiar jawline crumpled inward, crushed like an eggshell. Sabo's gut twisted. _It's not Kuma,_ he whispered inwardly, _that's not Kuma._ He stared for a moment, helplessly frozen in the reminder that this may be all that was left of Kuma anymore.

The Pacifista's body creaked ominously, heating rapidly beneath him.

Sabo cursed loudly, scrambling to back up in time. Surrounded by rubble in a tight room, he wasn't able to get out of range enough to avoid being thrown roughly. The explosion forced him backwards from the experiment and he shouted in pain as whatever had been buzzing behind him crunched violently under his weight. 

Unfamiliar heat hummed under him. 

Sabo forced himself up on burning hands as another Pacifista climbed over the smoldering wreckage of the previous, light building in its mouth aimed directly at him. Sabo's shoulders began to defensively flicker. His hair flared up around his face. 

The metal supporting Sabo abruptly crumpled inward. Sabo screamed as he was jolted off-balance, laser barely brushing the tip of his nose with a flicker of flames. Startled, he risked a glance down at the machine under him and yanked his hands off it to flick away molten bits of metal starting to cling to his gloves. 

“What—?” Sabo began, frantically staring at the machine under him. He could now feel how hot it was, only getting hotter, and hotter— crunching and screeching of metal overpowering the warning beeping of another Pacifista rapidly closing in on him.

The metal under him trembled.

Every instinct Sabo had, even raw with exhaustion and pain, _slammed_ into him with an overwhelming dread. 

Sabo scrambled to get off and away from whatever device he had damaged, not even bothering to look up from the wreckage at the approaching threats. Everything in him screamed to move _now **—**_ move, _move,_ **_move_ —**

He screamed as the room exploded in white around him. 

* * *

Sabo forced his eyes open with a strangled gasp, struggling to regain enough lucidity to fully reform. 

He wasn't sure how bad the explosion had been, but it had to have been strong because everything— the Pacifistas, the rubble, even the walls around him were _gone_ ; and flames are _everywhere_.

Fire coated everything so thickly he could no longer see the white and grey walls of the facility. No Pacifista parts on the ground, no burning papers or screaming metal or beeping of lasers. There was so much smoke that he couldn't even see the ceiling of the room anymore, blanketed entirely with a rolling cover of putrid black smoke.

So much fire, _everywhere he looked._

Stumbling to his feet, Sabo choked on memories.

Becoming fire had barely prepared him for the absolute torrent of flames that currently surrounded him— _the fires in the distance were so high, marking exactly where his brothers had to be, had to still be,_ **_trapped in the flames_ **— Sabo desperately sucked in air.

He stared at his shaking fingers until they were solid and black in his vision, glowing red with flickering firelight. The disparity helped him to solidify more, until he was standing unsteadily on feet separated from the flames— until his tailcoats rose with the roaring air currents swallowed by the fire rather than flickered as flames of their own. 

_What just happened,_ Sabo wanted to scream. 

**_“Don't you dare touch Luffy!”_ **

Sabo's head snapped around.

He instinctively hyper-focused on the direction the shout came from, feet already moving. The panic still swelled under his skin, roiling and boiling like magma in his gut— barely contained by the concentration on a single task. 

A familiar task, writhing in anger and pain from the filthy, charred hands of a pirate Sabo only still saw in hazy nightmares. 

Gritting his teeth so hard they collapsed back into flame, Sabo _lunged_.

The boy might have screamed at his sudden appearance, but Sabo couldn’t hear a thing over the fire roaring in his ears, in his hands, in his heart. His fingers were clenched tight around Bluejam's meaty throat before he could even feel the contact of oily, grimy skin under his gloves. 

The sick snap of bones and sinew was just as distant and unsatisfying as it always was. 

He hurled the body away with a single disgusted movement, as though flicking a cockroach off his glove. It vanished immediately under the cover of flames and for the first time he wasn't certain he could be happier to ever see so much fire. His breathing was finally beginning to even out, just a little. Nowhere near stable, but enough for his brain to begin to parse through a little extra sensory than the blood rush of adrenaline and panic. 

Shouting finally reached his ears. 

Sabo spun around, startling the child into raising his pipe with shaking hands. 

Grey eyes, silvered in the flames, remained as familiar and haunting as they always did in these dreams. 

Ace snapped something at him. It might have been important. It might have been a threat, or a greeting, or a question.

None of it, not his shouting, or Luffy's hysterical crying behind him, reached him over the crackle of flames and burning trash. 

Sabo thought, for a single moment, _oh, I must be dead._

_Dead and dreaming,_ he decided, staring down at his two brothers. His dead brother, his littlest brother– glaring him down surrounded in the horribly familiar blaze of a junkyard. 

None of that seemed to matter. No thinking or reminiscing. No time for decisions. He simply scooped up both boys, struggling and protesting falling to deaf ears, and _ran_ as fast as he could. 

If he had been even slightly more aware, he might have heard Luffy crying, Ace screaming curses as he sent panicked punches to Sabo's arm and back.

But he was only focused on barreling through the flames **—** Single-mindedly crashing through the charred remains of grey terminal towards the looming familiarity of the forest. 

Sabo didn’t stop running. He wouldn't, _couldn't_ — 

He didn't even pause when he crossed the threshold of cement and trash and fire into soft dirt and leaves. Didn’t pause in leaping over gnarled tree roots and rocks with the ease of someone who had lived there forever— _climbing, leaping, sprinting through the undergrowth, a hat too large propped precariously on his head and a pipe heavy fisted in one hand, grin mirroring those of the two boys at his heels_ — didn’t even slow down until the fires of goa were far in the distance. Until all that surrounded them was trees thick and tall and _impenetrable_.

Fire continued to crackle in Sabo's ears. It drowned out the bugs, the leaves, the boys still kicking and screaming in his arms, his own quick-too-quick breathing. 

In the absence of burning, everything _ached_. 

Sabo collapsed to one knee into the soft dirt. 

His arms swung limp and weak at his sides, allowing two equally exhausted and smoke smeared boys to tumble to the ground. 

Sabo couldn’t register them speaking. Not to each other, not to him. He stared uncomprehendingly through darkening tunnel vision as the unmistakable freckled face of his dead brother glared at him, lips moving sharply around words he couldn’t hear. All he could manage to think, in the moment, was a fuzzy _My brothers, my brothers, my brothers, safe, alive._

Sabo's teeth clicked together as his eyes rolled back into his head, finally crumpling to the ground and into unconsciousness.   
  



	2. Choose Your Words Carefully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabo does his best not have another breakdown and for the most part succeeds.

When Sabo next managed to pry open his eyes, he’s sore and stiff beyond belief.

Full conscious awareness takes a moment longer than he was comfortable with. He jerked in startled confusion when the blurry images in front of him sharpened into trees and dirt and his own scuffed, dirt-smeared and ashy boots— and a little boy.

Ace is as familiar as he was in every dream, staring at him with the same grey eyes he last saw printed in the newspaper that ended and started everything. His dead brother stares at him exactly like in his old memories, when he was Sabo the ex-noble meeting a feral little boy in the forest. He was standing, pipe brandished threateningly at Sabo, but his hands visibly trembled from exhaustion; his legs dirty and awkward from where they had clearly fallen asleep waiting for Sabo to wake. When he slumped enough to the side he could just make out where Luffy, behind Ace, was curled tightly into a ball– both his tiny hands white-knuckled around his knees and hat low over his face.

Slowly, Sabo tore his eyes from the mirage in front of him. He glanced down at his torso, surprised by the sheer amount of rope restraining him to the tree trunk.

If he weren't still reeling from what was going on, Sabo knew he would have snorted. He could tear through seastone with his bare fingers— some thick rope couldn't hope to manage to contain him for longer than a handful of milliseconds.

Still, he allowed his head to loll while he focused on assessing his situation. This was a new circumstance, even for his dreams. _A new shape to my traumas_ , he supposed, but one unexpected and surprising all the same. It had never quite turned out like _this_ , restrained and sitting before his two phantoms of brothers.

_Then again,_ he considered distantly, _they also never live past the fire, in these dreams._ He was slowly reawakening back into feeling, numbness retreating with every second he breathed in and exhaled without issue. Pins and needles squirmed under his skin up to his shoulders. He could barely see his fingertips, blue as they were, under the amount of tightly wrapped rope there was pinning him down.

Sabo hummed noncommittally as he subtly tested the restraints. “Hey,” he began, and swallowed thickly when he heard how rough his voice had become. _I can't have been out that long, could I have?_ Not if the boys were still there the entire time– _then again,_ Sabo reminded himself, _time doesnt really exist in dreams, does it. It'd be perfectly logical for them to just not leave... But then that derailed the concept of me being unconscious–_ Clearing his throat painfully, he met Ace's eyes. “Are so many ropes _really_ necessary?”

Ace stiffened the moment Sabo spoke. Every muscle tense and coiled, his hand wrapped tightly around his pipe. It hasn’t lowered even a centimeter despite Sabo's slow and non-threatening maneuvers. “....Do you think we’re _stupid_ ,” he snapped. “We saw what you did to _Bluejam_.”

His eyes flickered towards Sabo's hands.

Even with the clear amount of rope on Sabo— even with a purposeful and clear lack of aggression, Ace's posture and tone still badly hid his anxiety under a thin veil of anger. The pipe in his hands nudged threateningly closer to cover the brief lapse of vulnerability. “Don’t think we’re just going to _untie_ you after you— you _snapped_ his neck with your _bare hands.”_

Sabo tried not to sigh. The edge of his coat, frayed and charred from the fires and the lab, itched against his skin irritably. But to scratch at them required free movement, and he wasn't about to risk it with how on edge the boys were. Even Luffy, despite being open and trusting compared to the steely indifference of Ace, looked positioned to fight or flee the moment Sabo made a bad move.

“...Are you a noble?” Ace asked. His eyes traced over the burnt remains of Sabo's coat, his dirty shirt, cravat, heeled boots, and top hat. “You... you’re _dressed_ like one." His brow furrowed. “...You don’t _act_ like one.” Sabo blinked. The burnt gaps in his clothing allowed a clear view of his arms and torso, exposing glimpses of defined musculature lost in most nobles. Ace looked distinctly, decidedly _uncomfortable._ “No _noble_ could kill like that.”

Sabo hummed again, remembering distantly the ( _cathartic,_ frankly) feeling of Bluejam's throat collapsing under his hands. The crumbling of bones, crunching beneath his fingertips.

_I will do it again_ , he decided, _over and over._

_Every time this dream comes back to torment me._

The moment overlaps with every other time he’s thought about it— about pinning the pirate to the dirt, about ripping him apart— about leaving him to _writhe_ in the flames he started. (About how _good_ it'd feel, to finally win, to _finally–)_ _Maybe one day it’ll be enough to satisfy whatever part of me keeps this dream coming back._

Ace didn't look happy with Sabo's lack of answer. The man only stared at him in return and he snapped, nearly throwing his pipe in the force of his frustration as he yelled, “What are you then?!" He tried to push the the impulse down, but couldn't help his instinctive step back. Nothing about the situation was _normal_ and he hated how out of his depth he felt. He'd never even _seen_ this guy before, but he had been weird from the very start– bursting out of the flames from nowhere, _grabbing_ them the way he did— _what is_ wrong _with this guy?! Is he just a damn idiot?_

Ace would never admit how terrified he had been.

Luffy raised his head just enough to meet Sabo's eyes. Hesitant, subdued– shifting uncomfortably as if he wasn't yet sure he even wanted to speak up. “...I don’t think he’s a bad guy," He eventually murmured.

Ace stilled, turning to look back at his little brother. Luffy ducked away from his glare for a moment only to stare back with equal intensity. "I _don't,"_ he declared again, firmer. 

Sabo stared at him, barely able to connect the quiet, _tiny_ child to the rubbery menace he had only just barely gotten used to.

Luffy raised his hands and gripped the edges of his straw hat to pull it further down. It completely shaded his face, muffling the quiet “He _saved_ us. From Bluejam and the fire– I just... he _can't_ be all that bad if...” His voice trailed off weakly, but settled in a new silence. 

Ace scowled, glancing between his little brother and Sabo. Contemplative through his confusion and frustration. 

He didn't _want_ to think about what happened. Not Bluejam, not the fire, not Sabo and his sacrifice, not this _damn_ _stranger_ who showed up out of nowhere and basically kidnapped them both. But he didn't have an option here. Not with the familiar-not-familiar noble weirdo tied to a tree in the middle of the forest.

“It’s not as simple as that, idiot," Ace grumbled, finally breaking the silence as he kicked uneasily at the dirt. Sabo quietly restrained a chuckle as Ace huffed and paced in a tight circle. Grey eyes remained pinned to the forest floor, something wholly unsettled and _wrong_ in Ace's eyes. “No one ever just _helps_ someone.”

Sabo's amusement vanished as quickly as it came. Flickering out into the cold.

With every dream like this, he was only reminded of how much his dead brother seemed inclined to hate, to distrust.

_Luffy said he died smiling. I wonder if he really found his reason to be alive in the end._

Ace was glaring him down again. That same complex mix of _I-don’t-understand-you_ and _you’re-crazy_ that nearly had Sabo amused again. “I’m no noble,” he finally answered, pleased when Ace relaxed just the slightest amount. “I’m a revolutionary. Farthest thing from a _noble_ one can be,” he assured with a wink. It was nowhere as playful as he tried to make it, but he was still mildly offended when neither boy reacted.

_This is far too serious an atmosphere for two bandit-feral-children and an over-cooked revolutionary._

Luffy’s face scrunched up adorably. “A rev-revo-rebolune-airy?” He frowns. “That doesn’t sound very tasty, Mr. Not-Noble.” Sabo grinned at the warm fondness he felt against the chill in his chest, like stirring campfire ashes.

“ _Revolutionary_ ,” he corrected patiently. He already knew it was a lost cause before the word even left his mouth. “I fight against nobles and the government.” He nodded to Luffy but his eyes remained on Ace. “I work with your dad.”

He didn’t expect a _lovely_ reception to the idea, but the pure _vehemence_ to which Ace reared back was still slightly startling. “You know Luffy's _dad?_ ” He hissed out, temper flaring, ignoring Luffy's incredulous _"I have a dad?"_ behind him. “Then why hasn’t the scumbag ever come _see_ Luffy? Why is Luffy _here_ if he has a dad who hates nobles too?!”

Sabo blinked. “Dragon is...” he paused, wondering what he could and should say.

_It’s a dream. None of it is real._

“It’s complicated,” he continued eventually. “It’s for Luffy’s own safety that Dragon stays far away from here.” A horrible idea sparked and Sabo just couldn't help himself. “That’s why _I’m_ here.” Both brothers perked up at that, staring at Sabo incredulously. “I’m Dragon's right-hand man,” he said quickly. “He sent me to check on you two, which is why I helped you. That’s my motive, so can you untie me? My mission isn’t to hurt you, after all,” he chuckled. “Rather the opposite.”

Ace shuffled uneasily, but it was Luffy that frowned. “I didn't even know I _have_ a dad,” he says, “why would he send anyone?”

Sabo closed his eyes for a moment, forcing back the familiar burst of frustration with his boss. Dragon had saved him, practically raised him, but he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to let go of that thin stream of fire that burned over how Luffy was left in Garp's hands, and eventually the bandits'.

He wasn’t sure the thought would ever stop smoldering, even in his dreams.

“He must care a _little_ ,” Sabo eventually managed. “To bother to send me.” He opened his eyes and met Luffy's, then Ace's. “Even if I’m not him.”

Neither boy spoke for a long moment.

Ace startled when Luffy abruptly rose to his feet and trotted closer to Sabo, tiny fingers tugging at the knots. “What are you _doing?!”_ He hissed. Luffy determinedly struggled with the ropes, mouth set in a firm line.

“He’s telling the truth,” the boy declared with absolute, unarguable _certainty._ “We should let him go, he just wanted to help.”

Sabo was left staring at his brother, lost all over again in how Luffy always managed to bowl everyone else over with sheer decisive will alone. Ace was tense in front of him, stance defensive and tight– but though his eyes lingered worriedly on Luffy he didn't move to pull his brother back like he clearly wanted to.

Any attempt at freeing Sabo was cut off prematurely as the foliage burst open, startling all three occupants of the clearing towards the small bandit stumbling out of the undergrowth.

To his credit, the man barely paused from the confusion of what he had walked in on— instead barreling over the scene he’s just interrupted to announce something that has Sabo's insides go familiarly cold.

* * *

No one, not even Ace, had said anything yet. 

Mogra was still wheezing, chest heaving from his rush to find the boys. Both younger brothers had gone so still Sabo wasn't entirely sure if either were currently breathing. 

_Was this what it was like when they thought I had died?_

Sabo averted his eyes.

He was forced to snap back to attention at a loud crash, blinking rapidly as tossed up dirt scattered everywhere. In his brief lapse of attention Ace had gotten mogra pinned to the ground, his fists clenched so tightly in the bandit's shirt that they ripped into the fabric.

_“That’s a lie!”_ Ace said, and Sabo couldn't help but quickly look away again. _I can't watch this. Why did I have to dream this of all things._ “Sabo— Sabo wouldn’t just—“ Ace choked and shook Mogra violently, both of us missing the way Sabo himself had twitched. “Sabo went _home!_ ” 

Mogra grit his teeth against the rough handling, hands tight around Ace's own in a futile attempt to calm him down. “I _saw it_ with my own eyes,” he argued. “He set sail, and was shot down! His ship was nothing but cinders!” 

“Sabo was _happy_ ,” Luffy cut in desperately, but his fingers trembled knowingly where they dug into the fraying ridge of his hat. For all his attempts, he couldn't seem to pull his eyes up from the floor even to look at Ace. 

“If he was _happy,_ why would he set _sail?!”_

Sabo wished he was _anywhere_ but there. Everything was rapidly falling apart right in front of him.

_I want to wake up now, please._

Ace inhaled sharply, stumbling back from Mogra as if burned. Curling in on himself, he yanked at his hair and made a quiet, pained sound.

No one said a word. Sabo just watched Ace wrestle with himself, visibly shaking with restraint. Dream or not, he was just frozen in place– watching everything and yet processing almost none of it.

_I **really** want to wake up now, please. _

With a choked off shout, Ace suddenly uncurled and sprung forward. Sabo would never raise a hand to his brother, but haki raced down his torso at the glint of a knife; only to stare as his ropes went slack. He blinked down at his freed hands. 

Ace's breath whistled through grit teeth as he threw the knife aside. The violent flick of his wrist impaled it brutally into a tree.

“Fight me." Sabo could only stare uncomprehendingly. He didn't flinch when Ace stooped to snatch his pipe off the dirt, watching numbly as he slammed it against the ground. “ _Fight me!_ ” He screamed. The little boy was starting to pant, sweat running down his face. His hands wouldn't stop shaking. “You know how to fight,” he snarled, “We _saw_ you! So _why_ —“ Sabo's haki screamed to dodge as Ace lunged. 

“— _Won’t_ —“

Sabo moved instinctively to the side, barely avoiding the pipe now lodged firmly in the wood where his head had been. 

“— _You_ —“

He jumped to his feet and launched upward to perch on a tall root as Ace ripped the weapon free only to swing wildly at him. 

“— _Fight me?!?”_

There was something raw and horrible edging Ace's voice, something Sabo instinctively _hated_. His brother, his dead, _little-not-little_ brother, who had tears in his eyes. 

Sabo dropped back down to the ground. 

Ace immediately lunged but Sabo refused to dodge this time. Haki hardened his arms into solid steel. He readily blocked every single hit, eyes never leaving Ace's. Ace hit with as much force as he could manage, enough to push Sabo back an inch or two with each swing– but Ace was a kid raised in a jungle in the East Blue and no amount of unnatural strength he had would be enough to crack Sabo's willpower. 

it took over an hour before Ace eventually tired out. 

The pipe clattered loudly to the forest floor. Ace collapsed just as violently, choking on his own gasps for air. His trembling little hands clutched desperately at the dirt. There was nothing else for him to hold on to as he fell apart right in front of Sabo. 

_“Why?!”_ He cried, voice breaking, and Sabo felt something cold and raw in him _scream_ at the sight. “Why— why did you save us?!”

Luffy sobbed loudly behind Sabo, but he could not spare a moment to turn and comfort his little-littler brother right now.

Could not look away from Ace. 

“You’re just— just some revolutionary guy aren’t you?! You’re just a _stranger!_ And yet you _saved_ us—“ A hiccuping sob wrenched out of Ace's tiny form.

He was so, so small. Curled painfully tiny, smeared with dirt and blood and burns and bruises. 

_“—But you didn’t save_ **_Sabo!_ ** _”_

Sabo swallowed thickly, struggling to keep his composure. Ace's fingers dug into the soil, gouging out chunks that stuck under his nails. “He— he was unhappy!” He shouted, almost hysterically. “He _hated_ it there! _He wasn’t free!_ ” Luffy was crying uncontrollably, and Sabo twitched when he felt a little fist close around his tailcoat. His smallest brother didn't seem to notice, seeking comfort the only way he could as he soaked tears and snot into Sabo's clothes.

Ace pounded a shaking fist against the dirt. “He really _wasn’t_ happy,” he whispered, voice hoarse, and Sabo cancouldn'tt think to do anything else but kneel.

He sweeped both boys— his _brothers_ , his small and fragile little monsters of brothers, who accepted him, who _grieved_ for him, and _he never even knew them anymore_ — into his arms and ignored the aborted little attempts Ace made to push him away just to cling to him tighter. 

There were words in his throat that would do better swallowed. Words that Koala would smack him for if she could see his dreams too. Words that someone like him should know better than to think about, words people like the Chief Staff of the Revolutionary Army should be more _careful_ with. 

Careful be _damned_. They were not born to be careful, and they never would. 

“He’s alive,” Sabo said.

Both boys froze up in his arms and he gripped them all the tighter.

“Sabo is _alive.”_

Immediately the two started wiggling, fighting to look up at him from where they were pinned to his chest. “What the _hell—“_ Ace was already edging into a scream, Luffy shouting wordless nonsense as he scrabbled at Sabo's arms. Sabo released them just enough to meet both their eyes and blatantly threw every plan and caution to the fires still smoldering far behind them.

“Sabo isn’t dead. He’s alive, I can _promise_ you he is—“ and Ace looked ready to pick his pipe right back up again. 

“HOW COULD _YOU_ KNOW—“ his big-little- _dead_ brother snarled, his brother who _died_ before Sabo could see him ever again outside of this tiny body, who _never_ _came_ _and_ _found_ _him_ because he thought _Sabo was dead_ , and Sabo has _had_ it—

“Because he’s _ME!_ ” He screamed, and for the third time today, everything froze.

Both his brothers were staring at him, eyes huge. Mogra had long since scrambled out of the way to avoid Ace's breakdown, likely retreating to the hideout to get help. But Sabo only had eyes for the two boys, his boys, his _brothers_ , who were staring at him like he was insane. 

“W-What,” Ace stuttered. Luffy was staring Sabo down closely, still holding his hat in one hand, the other in a death grip on Sabo's coat.

“Sabo can’t be you! You’re so _old...!”_

“I’m from the future,” Sabo blurted out. He resisted the urge to slap himself. Koala was going to be pissed at him, wherever she was— especially once she found out he was most likely dead, his body buried in the rubble of a secret government human experiment facility. This was in line with one of the most hare-brained shit he had pulled yet. None of his usual discrepancy, none of his preferred subtely, or planning, or preperation.

(Not that he could fully wrap his mind around what was happening at all, to even begin to try and pull himself together– the longer he walked this dream the more he wondered if it would just be better to take his chances and drown himself before _things_ went too far.)

“I’m an older version, but your brother all the same,“ and Ace was already shaking his head in dubious silence but Luffy’s eyes were _shining._ His smallest brother still hadn't released him. 

Ace scrambled back onto his feet and lunged at Sabo. He ignored Luffy's muffled “Oof!” and Sabo's startled "Hey!" as the momentum threw them all back against the dirt in order to grab a handful of Sabo's shirt, his other hand latching tight around the blond's jaw– Expression tight around a new sort of intensity. 

Sabo fell quiet. He watched Ace inspect him, patiently allowing the boy to turn his head however he wanted as he carefully stared him down. Wary grey eyes traced over his features much more insistently than before, searching.

They paused on his eyes, on the slope of his nose and the furrow of his brow, the goggles perched on Sabo's ever-present top hat– only to narrow further. Sabo made a sound of protest when rough fingers pulled on his hair but Ace's expression was still wholly serious and contemplative. He rubbed Sabo's cravat between his fingers, glancing over his clothing slowly before returning to stare at his face.

Sabo took it all in stride, remaining as still as possible under the scrutiny. 

Luffy, still at his side, scampered closer to shove his hands into Sabo's hair and snatch his top hat, clearly not wanting to be left out. Despite the attentions, his expression had long since become open and trusting. Sabo pouted at the blatant thievery, and the expression only further made Ace's brow furrow uncertainly. 

They'd reached some sort of impasse. Sabo with a lapful of his two impossibly younger brothers. Ace and Luffy near content, in the easy unguarded reach of someone who by all intents and purposes should be a stranger and yet somehow _isn't._

It was only when Luffy wrapped his arms tightly around him, face set and determined, and said “If you’re Sabo as an adult, from the future, that means _our_ Sabo is alive," that the mutual silence broke.

Ace was already scowling, already saying _it_ _can’t be true, it **can’t** , Mogra saw _ _everything_ — but he was hesitating. His hands shook where he had unconsciously anchored himself around Sabo's lapels. 

–Because the longer he looked, the more he could see a familiar shade of blue in this— this _stranger's_ eyes. The more he could trace recognizable the blond curls, the shape of his eyes, the curve of his nose, _even the fucking goggles on his hat_ —— 

Ace pressed his forehead tight to Sabo's chest and asked, quietly; “Are you really him?” 

Sabo, breath finally slowing, shakily brushed a hand through both their hair. Settled and stayed, the weight of a palm enough to visibly steady something loose and rattled inside his brothers. “Yeah," he said, and hoped his voice wasn't as rough as it felt, "Yeah. I am.”

They both look up at him and he was set, firm. “I _am_ , and that means he’s alive, that he _survived_ , and we need to find him _right now._ ” 

Because Dragon had him.

Dragon had his younger counterpart, and while Sabo trusted the man with his life he cannot let what happened in his future happen here, not with his brothers right in front of him. Not with them both distressed, and hurt; not with Ace so very _alive–_

Not with his brothers, both of them suddenly so _small,_ so fragile, so alone, grieving in front of him. 

He stood and they let him, rubbing furiously at their eyes with a hand subconsciously twisting into his coat, and they move. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it took me a long time to edit this and to be honest im still not happy with it. but i may never be, so its better i just get it over with and post this and then maybe revise it later right? 
> 
> i really need a beta reader lmao 
> 
> anyway please tell me if things are too rushed. theres a lot of ways this chapter could have gone and to be completely honest its hard to figure out all those ways myself considering i wrote this at like 4am and dont remember the original goal
> 
> thanks to everyone who commented on the last chapter!


	3. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dragon gets a visitor.

Dragon looked up when he heard the yelling.

His people were standing around him, turned toward whatever was causing the commotion, but he couldn't see past their backs from where he was still seated by the child bandaged at his hip. Despite the noise, he didn't even stir under his blankets. 

People were already turning, more and more shouts kicking up– Dragon stood in time to see one of his men go flying. Thrown right over the edge of the railing and splashing into the ocean. The following silence was brief and remarkably tense– and then there went another revolutionary, toppling what felt like a fourth of the rising crowd. Ivankov started, standing as well, but Dragon only waved him back down. “Stay with the child,” he ordered, and stepped forward.

Almost immediately, he caught sight of the problem. 

A blond man was marching directly onto their ship with a familiarity as if he owned it, eyes hard and mouth set in a firm line. 

He carried no weapon, but the one man who had rushed him had been tossed aside with a clear ease that betrayed the strength he carried under his fire scoured coat and charred top hat. The garb didn't manage to fool Dragon into thinking it was a noble on his ship. No, not with that expression. Not with that stance, not with the gait that carried confident feet across his deck– not his blue eyes, or the scar lashed across his fair face. He did not recognize this man. But he understood immediately, intimately, that what was approaching him was no noble. 

He halted before Dragon, eyes having not left his as soon as they met. It was only when the path he’d cleared in the growing crowd began to close back up that he heard the warning snarl. A shift of movement, a flash of freckles and fists– and looked down to see two children. They stood close to the man; clutching with hands white onto the stranger’s coat. The smallest, a little boy with a straw hat, eagerly peered around the presumedly older child past Dragon. 

“I see him!” He called eagerly to the other two, “Sabo’s right there! Old Sabo was right!” But the freckled boy just corraled him closer with a hand over his mouth. 

While unsure what that comment meant, Dragon would be a fool to not recognize his own son even years after he had last seen him. 

“Are you here for the child?” He instead asked the blond man, who had not yet spoken a word. “Old Sabo” tilted his hat with a slow hand in place of a nod. His posture had not softened, not even twitched, in the face of Luffy's excited declaration. 

“I’m here to take him home,” he said quietly, and while the words were quiet and tired, his eyes had yet to even blink away from Dragon’s. 

He refused to allow his mouth to twitch into a smile. He had never heard about someone so _interesting_ looking after his son, before. Maybe it was time to give Garp a call.

“I cannot leave the boy with a stranger,” he said, and watched curiously as "Old Sabo’s" mouth just barely twitched. _Contained, controlled. Nothing about this man is not calculated, even with his clear exhaustion._

Both boys frowned at this, looking particularly offended. The older boy even paused in his glaring at the revolutionaries around them to snap at Dragon that _“he’s our brother what the hell are you talking about old man!”_ And Dragon could plainly see, from how the man’s blue eyes darted towards Ace, that he clearly would have preferred neither to have said anything at all. 

“Interesting,” Dragon said aloud instead, because nothing about this situation _wasn't._ If there wasn’t a child injured behind him, it would have maybe been amusing. 

He leveled a look at the blond again, but the man didn't seem ready to offer any name just yet. 

“Let us take Sabo home,” he said instead. Both boys immediately refocused on the child, _Sabo,_ still unconscious behind Dragon. 

There were multiple protests when Dragon stepped aside without a word. His men were confused and agitated, nervous with the appearance of a strong adversary who knew who and where they were. But Ivankov must have seen something in his face, for the okama was silent and serious where he still sat at Sabo’s bedside. Luffy immediately darted out from behind the blond man to Sabo’s side. Ace followed after with a wary glare at Dragon, hissing for his brother to stay in arms reach. Even as he dutifully edged around the revolutionary to reach Dragon's current ward, his hand still remained tightly clenched in the stranger’s coattails. Refusing to let go, even as the man did not make a move to join them– connected by a stretch of dark fabric. 

The children carefully clambored into the cot and Dragon stepped smoothly back in front of the man. With the children focused on each other, the stranger was as alone as he could get to be questioned. 

Surprisingly, he did not tense. He did not move to defend himself. His posture remained unfailingly loose and unassuming. Nothing about him said he was even the slightest bit nervous, about standing in the middle of a large crowd of hostile strangers. 

_Either he is a brilliant actor,_ Dragon decided, _or knows he is safer than he pretends._ They were not about to attack children nor their guardian after all— not without at least being provoked first. Though Dragon did not recognize the man, his son clearly appeared familiar to him. It was a very _telling_ reaction, how closely the trio seemed to keep watch after each other. Even behind him, his eyes fixed on the adult they came with, he could feel the wary glances the eldest boy kept directing his way. 

The blond finally blinked, head cocking ever so slightly. Something nearly bittersweet flashed across his face. It was gone long before Dragon could do more than wonder. “How is he?” The man asked in place of whatever he really seemed to want. 

Dragon only stared him down for another long moment before answering. “He’s going to scar,” he eventually began, “we have saved his eye, but only just so. The burns stretch across most of his left torso down to mid thigh. But he will survive,” he added, and narrowed his eyes a near imperceivable degree when the stranger’s face again twitched into something almost uncomprehendingly _amused._

“Yes,” was all the stranger said, and Dragon was again left to wonder. 

“...What is your name?” All he got was a smile for his question. What would be infuriating from most only managed to make him chuckle. “I see.” 

They both turn when the boys began to call out for the man, tugging on his coat without looking– frantically whispering– _“He’s awake! He’s waking up—“_ and the child still bundled on the bed groaned quietly in pain as his eyes squinted open. 

Immediately the stranger was by the bed. His gloved hand slowly reached down to cradle the boy’s face. He had an expression that Dragon could not even begin to decipher, something amused and conflicted and anxious and _afraid_ all at once before shuttering fiercely. “Good morning,” he greeted the boy casually. Sabo only blinked up at him, eyes wide and confused. 

“Who are you?” Dragon instinctively twitched closer, all previous impressions wilting in the face of this _blatant_ lack of recognition– but all suspicion was gone the moment the man smiled. Something fond and remarkably bittersweet. Soured relief, in the face of what was undoubtedly his charge, injured and lost. 

“I am here for you,” he said in place of anything that would truly fit. “Your brothers are here, with me. Ace and Luffy.” Sabo blinked uncomprehendingly up at him and Dragon exhaled quietly in realization. Rage bubbled, familiar and simmering. _Damn the nobles_ , he swore, D _amn the celestial dragons and the false royalty of this rotting government._

_They’re all disgusting_ , he reaffirmed to himself, silently watching these children fall apart in face of what had been taken from them. 

Regardless, the man only continued to smile appeasingly. His hands were more gentle than Dragon had seen before, surrounded by his men, and cradled the child carefully to allow him to sit upright. “We are your family,” he said again, quietly. “You have lost your memories of us, in the explosion, but we are here for you, for whenever it returns.” Ace and Luffy, crowded onto the bed, tiny fingers ripping into the bedsheets, only nod furiously. Tears and snot get everywhere but they ignore them in favor of their brother. 

“Brothers,” they declared quietly. Firmly, resolutely, as if tied by the heart with invisible, unbreakable thread. 

Dragon turned away. He had seen enough. 

* * *

The moment they were alone in the room, Ace visibly relaxed. Sabo tucked his coat out of the way and sat on the bed, gently nudging any limbs out of his way. Luffy was immediately clambering over his lap in order to still reach all of his brothers at once. Ace huffed as if begrudgingly allowing the movement, but one of his hands not resting on his injured brother’s blanket covered leg rested light and hesitant on Sabo’s own arm. “We can’t stay here any longer,” Sabo told the boys carefully. 

“Of course we can’t,” Ace declared, rolling his eyes. It did nothing to hide how his fingers shook when they finally, finally uncurled from their death grip in the blankets. “We don’t know these people!” 

“No, Ace,” Sabo shook his head. “We can’t stay on Dawn Island. It’s too dangerous.” Ace jerked back, startled, but Luffy only nodded. His younger self watched them, listening quietly with a furrow in his brow. 

“Is this... because of me?” 

Both the brother’s eyes snapped towards their injured third. Immediately protests started, but it was Sabo that cut them off with a gentle hand. “Sabo,” he started quietly, “look at me.” It was admittedly uncomfortable, looking at himself as a child, but he _knew_ he needed to hear this when he was younger. Needed to just as _this_ Sabo did now. “You are not at fault.” 

He flicked his eyes to the side to stare Ace down until the boy squirmed. “ _None_ of you are.” Ace opened his mouth, eyes shadowed, but Sabo beat him to it. “Blood does not determine anyone’s worth— not yours, not mine, not Luffy’s. The world—“ his nose scrunched up, unable to stop. “—is _rotten._ It is this world that wants to push us down, and chain us;” he breathed in shakily. “...or swallow us whole.” 

Carefully, he met every boys' eyes. Even Luffy was uncharacteristically quiet, having latched on to the serious atmosphere. 

Sabo risked a smile, shaky and memory burdened as it was. “The world awaits our answer,” he told them, and watched with unsuppressed happiness the fire that lit up in each of them. 

He looked down when a tiny hand weakly grabbed onto his coat. Child-him looked drained, as exhausted as Sabo felt. But even as he grit his teeth from the pain his grip grew tighter.

“Even if I don’t remember, you will take me with you?” He asked. The desperation was unmistakable. Pleading, begging for a connection. Unconsciously straining for the one thing he had always been neglected of. Even the facade of strangers was made insignificant, in the moment. Sabo swallowed hard. “Wherever you go, you won’t— wont leave me behind—?”

Ace made an offended sound, throwing himself carefully at his brother until the three boys were again wrapped up as tightly as possible. 

“Brothers,” Luffy said. 

“Brothers,” Ace said. 

The child version of him clearly had not a single memory of these people, of his “brothers” nor the man who brought them here. But their touch is familiar to his body, when not to his brain, and something cold and torn in him visibly stitched itself together in their arms. 

“Brothers,” he answered back, unhesitating, and drifted back asleep safe in the arms of his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been writing more for this fic rather than editing what I already have because I started writing like 3 more at the same time while also preparing for my semester courses asdkjnf
> 
> Also I still honestly don't know what to name Future!Sabo as? If this were Ace, I'd have called him Spade, and if it were Luffy then it doesn't really require thought because Luffy would Really Just Say Whatever Dumb Shit He Sees First but I honestly don't know what to rename my boy as. I'll take suggestions if anyone has any
> 
> 11/10/19 - did a brief edit for spell check, tense fixes, etc etc


	4. Hands Full and Reaching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving the Revolutionary Army behind, Sabo tries to think about what on Earth he's supposed to do now.

Wrangling three children was surprisingly both harder and easier with one unconscious. 

Child-him had barely twitched since falling back asleep. The sight of him slumped against him, thin blanket gripped tight in his fist and the other snagged firmly onto Sabo's shirt quickly made said younger brothers quiet and behaved. Neither had spoken up to do more than ask what time it was. Their eyes remained carefully trained on his tiny counterpart. Luffy had started sniffling, curled up close to his brother, but Ace had shushed him and pulled him closer without thought. The eldest brother had refused to let go of his pipe since they left the forest. 

Sabo knew it was better not to comment on the surprisingly docile diligence. It probably helped that Luffy had refused to let go of his hand. Their youngest had clambered onto the bed the moment Sabo sat down in order to latch onto the both of them, one hand twisted into Sabo’s coat and the other around Ace. Neither of them even considered protesting. Ace was nowhere as openly needy to cling to anyone, but it was obvious from how tightly he gripped Luffy's hand back that he needed the contact. If Luffy weren't rubber Sabo was sure Ace would have broken his hand. 

Sabo didn’t regain all his memories to just forget how his brother was, however. As an adult, Ace was an entirely different person– but Sabo never got to meet that person. The only Ace he had ever gotten to know was the one in front of him now. Whatever ended up happening, he would handle it. 

They were both _alive_ to be handled. He would take anything if it meant remaining in the dream he was now. 

Even when it would hurt once he woke up. 

_At least I won’t be alone,_ he mused. _If I wake up, I’ll have… I’ll have Koala again, and Hack, and Dragon. Maybe someday we’ll be able to get Kuma back._ Wincing at the thought of his failed mission and friend, he turned his thoughts back to Dragon. 

The man had sought him out, once the boys had fallen asleep. Sabo had only left for a moment, having found himself feeling surprisingly suffocated watching the affection and worry between the brothers. He really was happy his younger self was okay; and seeing Ace and Luffy so relieved was enough to make anything worth it. 

But it was a scene of a situation he himself never got to live. Something that wasn't _real_ at heart, that he knew was fabricated by his own wishes, and never able to be fulfilled. 

_“You four seem close,” Dragon said, and Sabo cursed himself for how he jumped at the man’s approach. Even in a dream where they were technically stranger’s Dragon’s presence had not registered as anything to be watchful of. “My apologies,” he murmured, but his eyes creased in amusement. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”_

_Sabo breathed out slowly, fighting not to raise his hand to feel his heart pounding. “It’s fine.”_

_Dragon only hummed. He did not appear to be saying anything anytime soon, simply leaning against the rails next to Sabo and watching the ocean quietly. For a while, Sabo just tried to relax. It was good to see his leader again. Even if the other did not recognize him. Even if it made his chest ache the slightest bit, giddy with the sight of a familiar face he hadn't truly had time to miss while with his brothers._

_“So, how goes business?” Sabo eventually blurted out. He chuckled sheepishly when Dragon shot him a look for that and tried not to fidget against the sudden burst of longing. “Taken on any slaves eager to join your cause?” He hoped he didn't sound as hopeful as he felt._

_Dragon raised an eyebrow. “...Anyone you’re looking for?” He eventually asked. Sabo forcefully relaxed and carefully did not look into the other man’s eyes._

_“A girl,” He eventually got out. Futily, he swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. “She has orange hair, and… and she’s pretty young.” If the timing in this dream is all the same, Koala should be around as young as his own brothers again. He could barely match up the images in his head from his headstrong best friend to the soft spoken and wary child he had grown up alongside. “...She wants to help others like her, someday.”_

_He could feel Dragon’s gaze, heavy on his face. He slumped further against the railing and ignored the reflexive twitch of his hand to cover his scar._

_“I see,” Dragon said coolly._

_They stood in silence for a while longer, Sabo attempting to breath inconspicuously and Dragon alternating between outright watching him and watching the horizon._

_“You don't plan to stay.” It wasn’t a question._

_“No. We don’t.”_

_He had tried to deny it, at first. Seeing Dragon again had something unsettled in him finally steadying, slotting back into familiarity. It was immensely comforting, to see both Dragon and Iva– to be on board a ship again._

_But…_

_Once the initial burst of adrenaline and familiarity had faded… He was struck by just how_ wrong _it still felt. Being around the revolutionaries again, seeing so many familiar faces and places that should be nothing but comforting– It felt like a rock in his throat that he was failing either to cough up or swallow down._

_Because he knew that he could not stay with them. He may be home, but it couldn't be forever. If he gave in and went with them, Luffy, Ace, and Sabo would have to come with him– he refused to leave them behind again. But a future with the revolutionary army wouldn't be any different from now; constantly on the run, being hunted, fighting the people who were supposed to protect you… He couldn't do that to them either. This was their chance to have as normal of a childhood as possible, one they never had the chance for in reality. One that Sabo could make sure they were safe and happy, where he could protect and train them to be strong together like they were supposed to all those years ago._

_The future they never got._

_He could not waste this precious, temporary time redoing reality– not with the dream of his brothers right there in front of him._

_It’s just a_ dream _. It’s not selfish of him to want to spend it with his family, is it?_

_“We would have trained him, if he wanted,” Dragon eventually said. Sabo fought not to close his eyes._

_“I know.”_

_“He could have joined us.”_

_“I know.”_

_Dragon regarded him for a long moment. Finally, he pulled away from the rail. Sabo looked up only to blink in surprise as a slip of paper was pressed into his hand. Dragon’s eyes glinted knowingly._

_“Come find us if you change your mind.”_

It had been rough, leaving the man behind. He had refused to look back and walked forward with Little Sabo carefully tucked into his arms, Luffy trotting by his side and Ace at his heels. He didnt need to see how Ace kept glancing back nervously to know Dragon watched them go. 

He also didn't need to hear Luffy quietly ask if he was okay to know his unease at leaving wasn't hidden well enough from his brothers.

Sabo sighed quietly and fingered the vivre card, tucked carefully into his inner coat pocket. Both boys looked up at him at the sound. 

“When… when you were talking to that _guy_ ,” Ace’s face wrinkled thinking about how Dragon is Luffy's dad. “What you said– are we really not gonna stay?” He quickly looked away again, clearly uncomfortable. "You look like you wanted to. An' he promised to train Sabo." 

Sabo slumped, but he was unsurprised the boys had eavesdropped. _At least they didn't hear anything actually bad_. “Yeah. Unless you guys want to stay here,” He mentioned offhand and despite everything felt a little warm for how both boys vehemently shook their heads, visibly relaxing. 

“Are we going to go back to Windmill village?” Luffy spoke up quietly. Sabo hummed. 

“Not yet, and only to say goodbye.” 

Ace gripped his pipe tighter to his chest. “We have to go back to high town to steal a boat, don’t we,” he said. His voice was small, but nearly his entire tiny frame shook with suppressed anger. Sabo quickly hid his shock when he tucked his pipe against his back in order to cling to Sabo’s coat alongside Luffy. 

Sabo stared, but Ace refused to meet his eyes. He didn’t comment on the sound of tearing fabric when Ace’s grip tightened. “I don’t want us to go to High Town.” 

“We can’t,” Sabo blurted out, and surprised himself with his own vehemence. “...At least not until Younger Me heals a bit more,” he said more gently. “He's healed a lot while on Dragon's ship, but we should still wait a while longer before we set sail in case he gets worse.Until then, none of us will need to go into High Town for anything more than selling some skin and stuff.” He'd honestly rather never go there at all, but any extra cash they could collect from crocodile hide and furs they hunt would no doubt be proven useful elsewhere. 

Ace didn’t respond but Luffy grinned widely. He tugged on Sabo’s coat happily, grip already relaxing. “That’s good,” he chirped, “I don’t want Sabo to go there again.” Sabo smiled down at his little-littler brother and carefully resituated his smaller self in his arms just to feel the weight against him. 

“I won’t make him go back,” he promised. “I’ll steal a bigger boat once he’s healed up enough, and then we can sneak out during the night.” He didn’t say that he wanted to wait for the celestial dragons to leave. His younger self’s health took priority— it just lined up nicely with the noble's visit. He slowly tried to relax, not wanting his tension to leak to the body in his arms, or the boys at his heels. 

He missed the way Ace's face darkened just the slightest bit further. his grip grew tight around Sabo's coat. 

“No,” Luffy said, shaking his head violently. _“I don’t want Sabo to go there.”_

Sabo stopped walking. He pointed at himself. “ _Both_ of us?” He asked incredulously. “I may be your brother, but I’m also a grown adult. You think I can’t handle some rich stuck up nobles?” He said it teasingly, but inside Sabo was dumb struck. Luffy had always been perceptive, but it wasn't as if he hadn't made perfectly clear that he’s strong. He killed Bluejam with _one hand!_ He would clearly be fine sneaking into the city to steal a single, small ship. It’s not the first time he’s had to sneak anywhere, so _why—_

“You don’t _want_ to go,” Luffy mumbled, annoyed. “Sabo _hates_ it there. He says it stinks.” Ace shuffled and hesitantly nodded. While he wouldn’t meet Sabo's eyes, Luffy stared unwaveringly at him. Both boys planted their heels in the dirt challengingly and pointedly refused to let go. “You _can’t_ go.” 

For a long moment, Sabo just stared. Neither boy shied away even when the silence grew uncomfortable, Sabo struggling to make sense of the situation and the boys staying stubbornly silent.

Slowly, Sabo knelt. He cradled his tinier form over his knees, careful to avoid jostling his new burns. “Luffy,” he started quietly, “Eventually, I will have to.” He pushed Luffy's hat down with one hand when the little boy opened his mouth to protest. “No, listen to me. I am your big brother, and I am responsible for you three now. You're right that I don’t want to go, but sometimes people have to do things they don’t like if it means protecting someone they care about.”

Luffy's lip wobbled. Sabo's heartbeat stuttered in panic when his eyes filled with tears. “L-like Shanks,” he said. Sabo relaxed and smiled sadly. 

“Yeah, like Shanks. But I won’t be losing an arm or anything! I’ll only be there for a little bit and the worst I’ll get is some discomfort. No one will even see me. Its not like anyone would recognize me anyway!” Ace glared at him, but he finally released Sabo's coat in order to cross his arms instead. Sabo grinned at him and shot forward to ruffle his hair just to hear him yell and swat at his hand. “I’m _your_ big brother now too, Ace, you shouldn’t have to worry about me. I’m here to protect _you_.” 

He laughed when Luffy shakily breathed in, rubbing away his tears. The little boy grinned so warmly at him Sabo felt it would be only necessary to burst into flames— if only he knew his brothers wouldn’t panic at the sight of them. “Y-Yeah,” Ace mumbled. “You’re still shitty though,” and Sabo only laughed harder. If little Sabo wasn’t so out of it in his arms he would have yanked the three of them into a hug. 

“Just a few days,” he promised. “We’ll figure it all out together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall. my classes are going to be starting in just two weeks so updates might slow a little for a while while I get used to my new courses and adjust my minors. 
> 
> Im also working on like 3 other fics at once, because I Have Trouble Stopping so here's a heads up
> 
> thanks for all the support! a lot of people chimed in about the unofficial name poll last chapter, and it's really helpful! I've stalled a Lot over it but results coming very soon, promise.
> 
> 10/11/19 edit - fixed spacing, ( .) error, basic spell check, tense fix


	5. Options we keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are home, but it cant last. They do their best to adjust to what is and what's next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter bothers me for numerous reasons i dont think ill bother changing lol

Sabo did not like leaving his kid self in the treehouse. 

He liked it decidedly less than leaving any of the boys on Dragon’s ship. It didn’t matter that the forest was home— it was stopped being ‘home’ since the fire. Even the boys were wary, looking over their shoulders every few paces. Straining for a hint that Bluejam’s crew or the nobles themselves were waiting around every tree and bush. It was worse, with the revolutionaries— they clearly weren’t comfortable and refused to leave the room even if Sabo was with them– but at least Sabo was secure in the thought that no noble or pirate would be capable or even willing enough to take a risky shot at them. 

Too much had changed too quickly. Nowhere felt safe anymore. 

_It's safe enough, for now,_ Sabo reminded himself briskly. His palms stung and ached when he clenched them into tight fists. _I am here to protect them now._ **_No one_ ** _will get past me._

That didn’t change, despite the fact that he had less and less options the more he thought about what to do next. The revolutionaries couldn’t afford to stay in the same waters any longer, and the boys _wouldn’t_ afford staying with strangers more than they had to. 

_One option gone._

Grey terminal was not even considered— it barely existed anymore to be considered. 

_Another option gone._

The bandit's hide out...

Dadan was never a gentle woman, nor any of her crew, but at least someone would be able to supervise while Sabo was making sure no one tried to take a lucky shot after his other brothers. _For such burly a woman, she always did have a strong protective streak,_ he mused. 

But leaving his counterpart with the bandits meant them seeing _him,_ too, and frankly he felt he had fucked up enough about the situation without letting even more people know about it. It was hard enough having to slink around the forest like a spy, hiding in his own home to avoid people who were by all intents and purposes part of his family–– hard enough sending Ace and Luffy down to visit, having to prowl the sidelines of the undergrowth to insure no one followed them. The scars alone would cause some questions, once Little Him healed enough to remove them. 

Sabo fingered his bangs, brushing them experimentally over his face. _Maybe I should grow my hair out some more._

At least now, they were all in clear eyesight. Even after hunting, with the wafting smell of roasting crocodile, Sabo’s child self had not yet woken today. He wasn’t surprised— it was fuzzy, but he could remember in part how rough those first days had been. Raw and dizzying, unfamiliar and confusing. Staying with the revolutionaries for the days they did only got the boy through the worst of the fatigue, when they didn't want to risk removing his IV or morphine. He still slept much more than the rest of them– But when Sabo wrapped new bandages onto the child the wound was clean and uninfected. They were clearly healing well; there was nothing to truly worry about just yet. Regardless, Neither of the boys had really been willing to stray from their injured brothers side even in the treehouse. They seemed fine when he took them out to hunt, but once they had all been fed and their missing brother still hadn’t woken, Ace had all but perched over him and hadn’t moved since. 

That also didn’t make it any less weird that he can hold himself like this, carefully curled into his side. _Still_ , Sabo mused, lightly ruffling the fluffy mess of blonde fuzz his child self has, _it’s good to see all three of them happy. Even if none of it is real, and I’m probably dead... Koala is going to kill me._

Luffy carefully leaned over his brothers prone form to tug at Sabo’s coat tails. “Ne, Big Sabo, what do we call you when Sabo wakes up?” Sabo blinked down at him in surprise but Ace crossed his arms and grumbled his agreement. 

Sabo frowned. He hadn’t honestly given much thought to it, considering he had just dubbed his tinier self as “small me” in his head. Would it really matter? _This is all a Dream, and once I either wake up or die I’ll have wasted my precious time with my brothers arguing over a name._ “Well, i mean—“

“We can’t call both of you Sabo, idiot.” 

“There’s nothing really—“

“No, seriously, are you stupid?” 

Sabo shut his mouth. 

Both Ace and Luffy had stopped watching their sleeping brother to stare at him with respective looks of exasperation and confusion. Sabo sighed. There really is no getting past too stubborn little brothers are there? _It’s like Luffy times two now that I really am the only responsible one here._ “Look, I honestly didn’t really consider it— why don’t you just call me Nii-Chan for now? I’ll tell you if I think of something else. But that’ll work until I wake up. We’re wasting time arguing about it.” 

The boys gave him a look he can’t decipher. Even Luffy was frowning, watching him with an intensity he couldn't place in the moment. Ace opened his mouth, posture tense, but whatever he saw on Sabo’s face had him quickly deflating. He stared back, befuddled, but eventually Ace looked away and just grunted out a “okay, whatever. Shitty Nii-Chan.”

Luffy, scrutiny forgotten, cheered “we'll help you think of a name, don’t worry Nii-Chan!” 

Sabo couldn’t help but laugh at the excitable way Luffy thrust his fist into the air. Warmth flooded his heart before being tempered by the reminder of how _temporary_ this all was. The boys shifted and looked up at him as he carefully twisted to lay Little Sabo down on top of some worn blankets before pulling them both into his arms. Luffy immediately and predictably leapt onto him. His tiniest brother was always more than ready to give 300% of the affection he got and that was no different in a dream– but Ace surprised him when he calmly walked forward and allowed the embrace. His tiny fists immediately gravitated around Sabo’s neck and squeezed tightly.

“Dream or not,” the blond promised against Luffy’s hair, “I’m so _happy_ I get to spend this time with you. I will protect you for as long as this world allows me— no matter what.” 

Eyes closed, he missed how Luffy and Ace traded another complex look. Sabo opened his eyes when Luffy began to squirm, releasing him enough to allow the little boy to lean back and catch Sabo’s eyes firmly with his own. “When— when Sabo gets better, we’re all going to train even harder. I’m going to get stronger,” he promised. Sabo laughed, because what else could he do when his chest _hurt_ so much— but Luffy latched onto his clothes, tightly clinging to his chest, and continued; “Stronger and stronger and stronger, and then even _stronger_.” 

His little brother finally smiled up at Sabo with the same determination he’d seen on him before the previously infamous pirate went into battle. “—Strong enough to beat even Sabo. And then you’ll _have_ to admit you’re awake, because you can’t get hurt in a dream!” 

Sabo was silent for all of a few, absolutely shocked seconds before he burst out laughing. The two boys protested loudly but he scooped them up as he stood and squeezed them both tightly to him, something warm and tight clogged in his throat. “Okay, little brother,” he teased, and Luffy wiggled until he landed back on his feet, pouting up at him. Ace was surprisingly quiet as he struggled free and glared at the floorboards. He did look up when Sabo next said “I’m going to train you after all— now that I’m here, I can help you three be even stronger than just from fighting each other and hunting.” He grinned with all his teeth, eyes challenging. “You want to be a pirate? Want to be _free?”_ The boys both stared at him with dawning hunger, hands digging into their beaten old blankets. Sabo felt adrenaline spike through him. 

“Then I will teach you to fight, and _no one will be able to keep you from it again.”_

Sabo swore he saw a spark flare to life in Ace’s eyes. One that seared bright, burning hot into Sabo’s own eyes. 

He never said a word, but Sabo had the distinct feeling he had just started something he would regret later. 

“I'm going to make you _eat_ those words,” Ace declared, and Sabo couldn’t help the childishly feral grin he sent in reply. Excitement he hadn’t felt since last sparring with Hack and Koala was beginning to boil under his skin, flickering along the nape of his neck. He was about to challenge Ace to a spar right then, falling into that old but familiar pattern that would inevitably lead to a tasteless wrestle in the dirt— 

The body behind him groaned quietly. 

Immediately, all activity froze. Sabo slammed down on his flames the moment he heard him. He whipped around, heart racing, and only relaxed when he saw his smaller self barely managing to squint his eyes open. _That was so damn stupid,_ he scolded himself. _If I had lit up right here—!_ For a long moment he found himself wishing Koala was here, if just to slap him upside the head. His most affective impulse control, and she was no where to be found. _This never would have happened if she was here, dammit. I’m never gonna hear the end of it if she ever finds out._

The concept quickly lost its appeal and Sabo paled. _Never mind, I hope I’m actually just dead._

“Wha...” his kid self— _god, maybe Ace was right, I really do need to figure out a new name because this is exhausting—_ gasped and curled in on himself as he attempted to prop himself up, immediately starting a chain reaction of Ace and Luffy scrambling to push him back down and shouting. “Wh— what, what’s going— hey!” Sabo scooped him off his makeshift bed with ease and carefully plopped him down into his lap. His brothers were immediately kneeling by him, Luffy bracing a hand on his thigh to closely inspect his brother’s face. 

“Does it hurt?” He asked quietly.

Sabo hummed and gently pulled his smaller version’s hand away when it reached up instinctively rub at the bandages. “Dragon gave me some of the smaller dosage pain pills, to wean off from the stronger painkillers,” he recalled, thinking back to the IV that had been connected to the boy. The aforementioned little bottle rattled in his inner pocket as he carefully pried it loose. “Now that we’re off the ship, the old ones will eventually wear off– but right now all he should feel is tired and sore.” He scrutinized his smaller self until the boy squirmed, eyes darting away. “If you _do_ feel pain now, you need to tell me if it’s too much. I won’t be fooled by a fake smile, kiddo.” Not when it was his. 

Luffy laughed at his older brother and Ace smacked him over the head. Sabo grinned but didn’t comment on how light the reprimand really was. “Shut up, idiot, this means we’ll have to keep an eye on him too!” 

“Stop talking like I’m not here,” Sabo’s kid self complained. He reached out to bat Sabo’s hand off, grumbling all the while and Sabo couldn’t help but smile down at him. “What?” the kid asked, frowning at him, and Sabo realized he was just grinning dopily at a child who is technically himself, with the face he used to have.

 _...I’m an idiot. Ace and Luffy are right, we need to hash out names. It’s a mouthful calling him by “my younger self” even in my head. Shit, he doesn’t even know who I am yet— not that I’m him—_ technically _him— Shit—_

Luffy reached out and tugged at Sabo’s curls. Yelping, he reached up to untangle the boys fingers from his hair and huffed fondly at luffys “whoops sorry”. 

“Sabo,” he started slowly. “Do you know who I am?” Immediately Ace shot him a look, shoulders tensing, but Sabo held up a hand. “I know you still don’t have your memories. Do you know who I am?” 

Slowly, the kid blinked. The treehouse was completely silent. Even Luffy just watched as both Sabos stared each other down, one carefully blank and the other confused. 

“...Are you related to me?” He eventually guessed. His uncovered blue eye slowly traced over Sabo’s features. “We look very similar, don’t we? And you knew who I was, on that ship. You came for me.” A sudden wariness had him drawing back from the adult. “I...I don’t want to go back to my parents.” 

Ace looked away, face darkening. Luffy quietly grabbed onto his shirt. Neither of them seemed to be able or willing to risk meeting either blond’s eyes. 

Sabo gently ruffled his counterpart's hair, diligently avoiding any bandaging. “Right and wrong,” he said. “I will not take you to your parents— not when your family is right here!” He smiled at the child and carefully suffocated the rising lump in his throat. “We will never make you go back there again; they will have to get to you through me.” His kid self had not seen him fight, hadn’t seen him in the fires, or even when he first went to bring him home from Dragon. Yet still, he relaxed in Sabo’s arms until he once again sagged tiredly against him. 

“That’s good,” he murmured, eyes dropping. 

Sabo hesitated. He needed to get it over with sooner or later. He’s only becoming increasingly aware of how important it is to be transparent about the frankly confusing situation they all were now shoved into— but his younger self was still so fragile. Too hurt, too cautious, too tired to really begin processing the present as it is before Sabo inevitably has to dump everything else on him. 

_It’s just a dream,_ he reminded himself irritably. _It’s not real. What does it matter that they’re not ready? He’s you, and_ you _never got to be_ ready— 

Ace and Luffy cautiously inched closer. Sabo gazed at them, watching how the brothers only seemed to have eyes for their slumped and injured third sibling. 

_It’s just a dream._

Slowly, he reached out his free arm. Ace’s expression barely flickered before both he and Luffy readily collapsed against him. Sabo swallowed a quiet laugh and just tucked the two closer until they were curled comfortably against his side, angled in a way to allow them to still see where their third brother continued to breathe deeply against Sabo’s shoulder. Ace was stiff in his arms, but slowly relaxed with every minute passing undisturbed. 

Sabo exhaled slowly and shut his eyes. He had to fight back a sad smile when he felt Ace fully relax against him as soon as he thought Sabo was asleep. Luffy was already snoring, and his child self had been out seconds after his last words– but he doubted Ace would take his eyes off his brothers until sunrise. 

_None of this is real, and I’m either going to wake up or die. I’ll have lost all of this without ever really having it in the first place. What does it matter if I wait a little longer to break the truth to... to myself?_

Sighing again, silently, Sabo did his best to sleep. 

Unbeknownst to him, Ace listened carefully as his breathing evened out. He missed when that small, freckled hand delicately touched his chest, plucking lightly at the fabric as if reminding himself it was real. He missed when Ace slowly, so slowly, shuffled until he was curled closer to him, with fingers twisted in the sleeve of the arm draped over himself and Luffy. 

“You’re real,” Ace whispered, “we’re _all_ real.” 

The only one awake to hear it, he prepared to watch over all of his brothers— all _three_ of them— until they were ready to take care of themselves again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> classes start just next week and im really to fling myself into the ocean stay tuned for next week when i finally stop stalling on names
> 
> been writing as much as physically possible before courses begin since my focus will inevitably reorient 98% onto my major lmao. im multiple chapters ahead already, and im working on separate fics like muscle memory in between chapters to avoid writer's block so hopefully itll keep up till this story is out of danger zone for possible future hiatus. 
> 
> thanks everyone for commenting! it makes me happy whenever i check my email now. I've been pavloved
> 
> 11/11/19 - spacing fix, basic grammar edit, past tense fix


	6. Naming Conventions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are finally sorted out in more way than one, and everyone answers at least one question of their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, big thanks to RedWritingHood for being a Superb human being and helping beta read/edit! I've forgotten to say this literally every time but her help on chapters has helped me catch so many of my Indiscernible number of mistakes and I'd be drowning in text without her.

“When are we going to train?” 

Sabo blinked, looking up from the boar he was roasting. Ace crossed his arms, slouching as if to hide his embarrassment at speaking up. Beside him, Luffy perked up with interest. “You said you’d train us right?” He narrowed his eyes at his older brother when Sabo just stared at him. For all that asking made him visibly nervous, Ace looked almost alarmingly intense. He refused to break eye contact in a way _distinctly_ familiar. 

Sabo carefully pressed down the wary anticipation rising back up from the night before. 

Luffy quickly swallowed his last chunk of meat and hopped onto his feet, nearly tottering right back onto the dirt in his hurry. “Sabo isn't awake yet today, but we can wake him up! Right?” He asked, scrambling closer to them. _“Right?!”_ Sabo gulped as huge puppy eyes were turned on him. Ace scoffed at the scene, but the longer Sabo hesitated to answer the more fiercely his scowl looked like a pout, which was– 

_Oh god, my brothers are so cute. They're_ ** _so_** **_cute_** _,_ Sabo frantically thought, heart racing. Ace startled when he leapt to his feet and he forcefully had to restrain himself for the _nth_ time since falling asleep not to just squeeze them into his arms. The difficulty of attempting to tamper down on his powers to avoid turning the small cooking embers into a bonfire was becoming a recurrent trend for this dream. “Yes that’s– a good idea,” he fumbled. He cleared his throat and tried again, smiling calmly. “Sabo can't train just yet, but if you wake him he can at least watch until he’s well enough to join you two.” Luffy cheered, racing off to fetch their brother from the treehouse. 

Ace still refused to look away from Sabo. He only stepped back to scoop up his pipe from where he had left it stabbed into the dirt, carefully keeping his eyes pinned to his older brother as if anticipating a fight to the death. The intensity of his expression instinctively had Sabo’s heart racing in anticipation. He remembered that look, remembered it from years and years of robbing criminals and dine-and-dashing. 

It was the sort of intensity that, 98% of the time, preceded either petty crime or an international incident. 

A shiver shot up Sabo’s spine and he wasn't sure whether it was born of excitement or _dread_. 

“It’s just a spar Ace,” Sabo felt the need to remind him. Ace hadn't been this openly wary since the Terminal fire, and he didn't honestly understand why it was reappearing now for what should– at least for them– be a safe and sane sparring session. 

Ace didn't answer. The boy only hunkered down, pipe firm in his hands. Sabo sighed and just moved in a mirror of Ace’s form, holding both hands out palms down. Haki flared up his arms under his sleeves. “ _One_ round,” He warned. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been able to fight like this.” Despite everything, he found himself grinning like a fool. Adrenaline wisped into a familiar flame inside of him. 

He was careful to contain it— his focus needed to be on gauging his little brother’s _needs_ , not rampaging with him. 

Even if it _did_ sound like fun. 

Ace lunged just as Sabo heard Luffy crash back into the clearing with a confused Sabo in tow. The distraction didn't stop him from neatly dodged Ace’s blow, snickering as their youngest whined _“oh come on!”_ when he spotted them starting without him. 

_“No dodging,”_ Ace snapped. Sabo could hear his teeth grinding even from several feet away. The boy anchored himself in the dirt, expression determined. “Don't you need to see how hard I can hit?!” 

Sabo hummed, pausing out of his ingrained duck from a swing. “Yeah–” He admitted casually, planting his feet firmly, “–that’s true.” Ace charged him with a battle cry and he snapped out a hand to simply grab the pipe, stopping it mid swing with ease. Ace scowled when he failed to tug it free. Sweat dripped down his furrowed brow. 

“First lesson,” Sabo said, a glance to the side confirming both Luffy and his counterpart were listening, “–is to _always_ have a _plan B.”_ Ace yelped when Sabo used his free hand to grab him by the wrist, calmly disconnecting him from his weapon. He didn't have the chance to do much more than scramble to catch himself as he was tossed him back several feet. 

He shot to his feet no worse for wear, but smeared with dirt; his hands clenched around empty air. Sabo contemplated the pipe in his hands before shrugging and just tossing it behind him without a second glance. The metal wasn't right, the length all wrong, the heft unbalanced. His fingers twitched for a hold he no longer had. 

_I need to find a new staff… one that’s actually long enough for my body._

He broke out of his thoughts when Ace again leapt at him, fist pulled back. Sabo just let it connect, smiling fondly when Ace cried out in victory only to shout in alarm when Sabo simply plucked him up by his shirt.

 _“Second lesson,”_ he said teasingly, “...will be about gauging your opponents strength— and how not to leave yourself open to them.” 

Ace struggled furiously until Sabo put him down, huffing when the older smoothed his hair down gently. “You’re strong, Ace,” he soothed, smiling when the younger just turned away from him, refusing to meet his eyes. The fire constantly burning in his stomach flickered and flared with a burst of fierce protectiveness. “I will make you even _stronger.”_

_“Me next!”_

Sabo jerked forward as a rubbery little body collided with his back, quickly coiling around his torso until he was fully tangled in a very stretchy bear hug. Laughing, he carefully detached luffy from him and shooed Ace back towards the sidelines. Occupied with wrangling their youngest, He nearly missed Ace’s face when he turned away. 

There was _so much frustrated disappointment in his eyes._

Sabo frowned, opening his mouth to ask him what was wrong but Luffy moaned with impatience, tugging at his coat. “Come on, _come on,”_ he prodded. Sabo couldn't help but smile at his bouncy little brother. “I bet you can’t beat _me!”_

“He can too,” his doppleganger teased from the side. “You can’t even beat Ace!” 

_“Hey!”_

“I mean, I’m not wrong— _wait wait I’m still injured!!_ _Foul play!”_

Sabo laughed in delight, blood singing with adrenaline. 

Two seconds later, he was still laughing as Luffy body slammed directly into his gut and sent both of them flying. 

* * *

Luffy finally collapsed to the dirt, chest heaving. “One … I can do one more…” 

he giggled weakly in protest when Ace poked at his side, the older taking advantage of Luffy not having the energy left to squirm away. “That’s 100,” he said, looking up at where Sabo was stretching languidly. “No more for today, right?” 

Sabo grinned, warm with the realization that Ace was looking to him for confirmation. “Yeah, that’s more than enough for today. We can go again tomorrow— I’ll teach you some basic exercises to better adjust your bodies. You’re too young for any _real_ strength training still, but knowing how to move can and will save your life in a real fight.” Both boys lit up. Luffy bounced in place, excitedly pumping his fist into the air with a loud shout of victory. Even Ace sparked up past the frustration that he had been trying (badly) to hide all day. 

_I’ll have to talk about that with him,_ Sabo reminded himself grimly. _Ace especially needs to know he can come to me for anything._

“Wow…” 

All three looked up to see Sabo still sitting by the edge of the clearing. The boy fidgeted nervously under the attention. “Did I…. could I really learn to fight like that too?” 

Both boys frowned. The atmosphere immediately nosedived and the blond flinched back, wondering if he had asked something wrong. The younger two brothers shared an equally offended expression, as if the question had scandalized them. “You…” Ace started, but quickly shut his mouth when Sabo bent to put a firm hand on his shoulder. Their injured brother swallowed nervously when Sabo approached him, but though his little fists tightened around the hem of his shorts he didn't move to step back or protest. 

Gently, Sabo kneeled to be eye level with his child counterpart. “Sabo,” He began hesitantly. “Do you know who I am?” 

The boy scowled, confusion and even apprehension quickly giving way to frustration. “Why do you keep _asking_ me that? You said you’re my brother– what does that even have to do with this?” He swallowed, expression momentarily jolting as if expecting a blow for shouting. Sabo didn't have to look behind him to know that Ace had winced at the sight. “...I know I’m injured,” His child self started again, much more slowly. “And my… my memories make things hard right now. I don't remember what I was like before I got… hurt, and I don't even know if I’ll ever– if I’ll ever remember it again.” He swallowed roughly, head dipping momentarily in shame. 

“But,” He cut them off before they could speak, meeting all of their eyes with a gaze so blatantly challenging that they were left blinking in surprise. “I’m not _stupid_ .” He shot an accusing look at his brothers that made nearly all of them look away first. _“What aren't you telling me?”_

Sabo paused. 

_It’s a dream. It’s a dream._

It was still jarring seeing his own face, de-aged 10 years and frowning at him. 

_It’s just a dream._

“Sabo,” He started again, “What is my name?” 

The boy scowled at him, jaw clenching. “Stop _asking_ me that! I already _told_ you! Your name is–” He paused, face scrunching up. _“Is––”_

The forest was suffocatingly silent. 

Sabo stared at Sabo. 

“You’re… you said we aren’t related.” 

“Yes.”

“You knew where I was, even when Ace and Luffy apparently didn't know I was alive.”

“Yes.”

The two stared at each other, faces completely blank, every movement suspended. Ace’s gaze flickered between them nervously, not entirely sure if _either_ were even breathing. Their eyes were locked, unblinking. As if waiting for the other to make the first move, whatever it may be. 

“...You never told me your name.” 

Luffy, squirming in Ace’s arms just behind them, finally pried the hand off his mouth. “He doesn't have a name yet!” He blurted out, ignoring Ace’s _“Ew gross, Luffy!”_ When he licked the elder’s hand for getting too close to muzzling him again. Sabo winced at the lack of tact but still refused to look away from his counterpart’s face. The child held himself carefully neutral, everything loose and perfectly still. 

It could never hope to fool _himself_. 

“That’s _impossible,”_ the boy protested. 

“You thought devil fruits were _impossible_ before you met Luffy,” Ace said quietly. 

Luffy grinned like a shark from his arms. “You thought escaping your parents was _impossible_ too!” 

The future and the past stared each other down, one in disbelief and the other with caution. 

“I don't know how I really ended up here,” Sabo finally said, because what else was he going to say? That he’s dead or asleep, and then have to consequently argue with a _dream_ that it’s not _real?_ That he got sent back to the past due to _crazy military scientist shenanigans?_ It was a waste of time he wasn't about to sacrifice. “I woke up in flames, and have been here since.” Gently, he held out a hand. “I refuse to take your name from you. Not when you’ve already lost so much.” 

Slowly, his child self shook his head. “I… I _haven't_ lost anything,” he whispered. “ _You_ did, because you… because when you were me, you didn't have… _you?”_ Squeezing his eyes shut, he gripped his head. “This is _confusing,”_ he whimpered. 

Sabo silently counted to ten. 

“Can I pick you up?” he then asked. 

It took a few long seconds, but the child eventually nodded and Sabo carefully scooped him up to perch on one arm, leaning against his shoulder. “It’s a lot,” He conceded, “I _know_ it is. _I’m_ still really confused too. But I'm here now. I'm going to help for however long I'm staying.” 

In the corner of his eye, Ace twitched. 

Gently, Sabo nudged at his small, so much _smaller_ self, and the child looked up at him through eyes half lidded in pain. His hands hadn't left his head and Sabo reached for the painkillers, turning on his heels towards the treehouse without thinking. Ace and Luffy were close by the moment he moved, doggedly watching him shake a single large pill into his hand and passing it to the child in his arms. 

Sabo smiled when his counterpart swallowed the medicine without arguing, waiting until he had the boy’s full attention again before continuing smugly; “So when I say that _yes_ , you learn how to fight and you become strong,” he clenched one haki infused fist tight. “I’d think my claim sounds pretty credible.” 

He didn't get a coherent response from any of the boys besides a long, drawn out groan from both Ace and Sabo. Chuckling, he patted the kid’s shoulder in mock sympathy. “Training can wait, though. Let’s go take a nap.” 

They were all out in seconds despite the protests that they weren’t tired. 

* * *

When Sabo next woke up, his migraine had blissfully faded into a low pulse, throbbing at the back of his head. He was groggy enough to have been asleep for hours. The medicine always took a lot out of him– normally he'd take longer to sleep it off...

“Old Sabo.” 

“That’s… the same name, but now you’re also calling me old.” 

“Sabold.” 

“...Luffy I'm _really_ starting to think that’s not helping.” 

Sabo groaned, pulling the ratty blanket over his head in a useless attempt to block out his brothers talking. The grogginess was quickly being replaced by annoyance. 

“How about Idiot?”

“Ace, that hurts….” 

“Dammit,” Sabo said, throwing the sheet off himself. “What the hell are you guys even arguing about?!” His future self– and what a trip _that_ was, looking at who he was apparently supposed to _become–_ rubbed at his neck sheepishly. 

“We’re trying to think of a better name for Nii-chan,” Luffy said cheerfully. The expression quickly turned into a pout. “He doesn't like any of mine though.” 

“Yours _suck,”_ Ace reprimanded. “He’s better off just pointing at whatever he sees first and making that his name than using one of your rubber-brained ideas!” 

“What! No!” 

“You callin’ me a liar?!” 

The two immediately began squabbling and Sabo watching his older self sigh, gesturing at them like _‘Can't you see what I've been putting up with?’_ and couldn't help giggling. He only laughed harder when he got a big pout sent his way for his reaction. “What ideas do you have so far?” He asked curiously. “You didn't have any, I don't know… _nicknames_ in the future?” He raised an eyebrow when the adult just looked away nervously. 

“Ah… A few…. But they aren't ones uh, _suitable_ , to use for a name…” The man was practically sweating. Sabo swore he caught him mutter _Damn it, Koala,_ under his breath and frowned. _What do Koalas have to do with anything? Did I really become this weird?_ “I thought about using Serpent, to match a job I used to have, but–” 

Luffy laughed behind them, prying his head loose from Ace’s noogie to whisper _“Sheepent”_ conspiratorially. 

“–that’s out of the question.” 

Sabo snickered. “He’d have to grow out of it eventually, you know.” 

His adult self shook his head, expression melting into a weird combination of both exasperated and fond. “You don't remember this, but no, he wouldn't.” He grinned at the look on Sabo’s face and reached out to ruffle his bedhead, carefully avoiding his bandages. “Don't sweat it, kiddo.” He only laughed when Sabo swatted at his hand irritably. 

“Sabold!” 

“Dammit Luffy, _you already said that!”_

“I think it’s a good name!” 

_“YOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF A SINGLE GOOD NAME!”_

Sabo pointed at the still arguing brothers. “Should we… stop them?” He raised an eyebrow when the adult shrugged noncommittally. 

“Best to let them get it out of their system. We can't start training ‘till this is figured out, since it’s making everything confusing for everyone.” Sabo winced. _I haven't even known for more than a day and it’s making things confusing._

“There’s really nothing you can think of from the future that would double as a name? Nothing at all?? Not a nickname, an alias, a friend, an object, a move–” 

“I mean, I could name myself after the devil fruit I had, but–” Luffy immediately stopped fighting, head popping out of where Ace had wrestled him onto the floor to stare with eyes practically sparking at Sabo’s older counterpart. 

“You ate a devil fruit too?!” 

Sabo’s eyes narrowed suspiciously when the adult twitched, face immediately smoothing into a casual smile a little too familiar to be real. “Oh yeah,” He said easily. “Seems it doesn't work here though, sorry I can't show you!” He laughed when Luffy wilted, ruffling his hair roughly enough that the youngest yelped and his head snapped back to where Ace had his neck trapped in a lock. Ace didn't start tousling with him again yet though, and Sabo watched his brother stare at his counterpart with an expression quiet and contemplative. 

Eventually, he turned back to Luffy’s whining and it was like nothing had ever happened– but one glance at his older self confirmed that under the carefully crafted facade his shoulders had pulled familiarly tight. His face was pinned in that same, contained smile that made Sabo’s own face itch. 

_I’ll find out more later._ “...Well,” Sabo began, trying to redirect the conversation, “You said your last job– if you haven't come and gotten me I’d still be with that Dragon guy right? So you must have been with him... Why not another dragon name?” He found himself subconsciously relax a little when his counterpart’s expression softened a near imperceivable amount. 

“I would,” He admitted, “But it still doesn't feel right. I'm not with them anymore, I'm with you guys.” He hesitated, as if unsure what to say next, but Sabo just nodded. “It just doesn't feel right,” He finished lamely. 

“How about Ryūsoken?” 

His counterpart’s eyes sharpened. He turned slowly to face Ace, who stilled under the gaze. “Where did you hear that?” He asked casually. 

Ace fidgeted awkwardly, looking away. “You… we heard you say it before,” He muttered. “When Bluejam… during the fire.” The treehouse was almost uncomfortably quiet for a moment, Sabo’s older self frowning at the wall for a couple long seconds. 

“Huh. Wasn't aware I…” He shook himself briskly and smiled wide at his little brother, pretending not to notice Ace relax. “It’s a good idea, but that’s a bit of a mouthful. Maybe–” 

“Ryū?” Luffy blurted out, “That’s a cool one! I like that one.” 

Sabo watched amusedly as his adult self blinked, pausing mid sentence. He looked at Luffy with clear surprise written across his features. “...Ryū,” he repeated. 

“That one’s not so bad,” Ace grumbled begrudgingly. He looked away, flushing when Luffy grinned at him with his entire face. 

_“Ryū,”_ Luffy sang. “Our biggest brother, Ryū-nii.” 

Sabo smiled at his eldest brother, snickering at the dumbfounded look on his face. “Sounds like we’re not going to be confused anymore,” He teased. 

Ryū glared at him. 

Luffy squealed in delight, scrambling out of the way as Ryū lunged for his cheeky brat of a little brother. There was nowhere to hide in such a cramped space— though sabo doubted he would get anything more than a seconds head start anywhere. Ryū smiled with all his teeth and sabo felt sweat bead over his forehead as familiar black gloves clamped firmly around him and refused to let go. “H-hey,” Sabo said, giggling nervously, “at least we figured it out right? No need for violence—“ 

“There’s always a need for violence. _Especially for brats who need to get_ **_checked_**. ”

Sabo would never admit that he was laughing about more than being vindictively tickled until he cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've stalled long enough, havent I? Finally, the name issue is Settled. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who helped me to figure out what to name Future!Sabo! It really helped me figure it out since his name was literally just a big blank spot in the plot for me– even people who suggested little things, like Dominique_Icefall recommending something easy to pronounce was very helpful! Also I included Moony_PirateKing's suggestion as an Honorable mention, because it made me laugh and would be in character. 
> 
> A_Reflective_Projection, you're a treasure and ultimately made my decision. While I did shorten it, I hadn't even considered using Sabo's trademark move until you commented it and Thank God you did. 
> 
> Cant thank everybody enough!! thank you for participating. 
> 
> Also, Today is my first day of classes, but up to ch 8 is finished and ready for review and 9-11 has been outlined. no risk of hiatus just yet! Sorry for the big chunk of text lol
> 
> 12/7/19 - basic clarity edit, spacing


	7. Proving Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabo finally gets his bandages off, and with that problem gone three more crop up. 
> 
> Or: Ace just wants his family to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, special thanks to [RedWritingHood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedWritingHood/pseuds/RedWritingHood) for beta editing/reading!

“Luffy, I _swear_ if you don’t stop—“ Ace snapped, struggling to drag his bouncing little brother down next to him. He glared at Sabo when he only snickered at him instead of helping. Briefly, he considered taking his chances and just flinging Luffy at him. It was tempting. 

Luffy stretched out far enough to latch onto the window frame of the treehouse, skin pulled tight. Ace didn't get a chance to do more than scream when he abruptly let go, snapping back with enough force to make Ace either release him or break his nose and probably his jaw. “Dammit Luffy–” Ace grit out. Sabo just continued to laugh at him, safely seated between Ryu’s legs.

It was only getting more tempting to throw Luffy at him, the brat. _Wouldn't be laughing then… just you wait._

 _“Ace!”_ Luffy shouted, high pitched with excitement. Ace choked when Luffy spun on him in order to rocket directly into his midsection, sending them both flying into the far wall. The old planks groaned ominously under their weight. Ace was certain he heard something splinter. Groaning, he shoved Luffy off only for the younger to practically skip around him, dodging any hands trying to grab him. “Sabo is gonna have a scar! Like mine!” He poked his face close to Ace’s, grabbing his own cheeks with both his hands before stretching them as far as he could, eyes wide and sparkling. “We’re g’nna be _scar buddies,”_ he said reverently. 

Still sitting calmly a few feet away, Ryū had the audacity to laugh at them. Ace blushed hotly and kicked Luffy back, annoyed when the younger just rolled away with a laugh. “Stop laughing!” He hissed. Both blonds were now just watching him, the same damned expression on their faces. An identical brow raised, an identical quirk to their lips. Ace felt his ears burn. “...Jus’ hurry up, already.”

“Gimme a sec, Ace,” Ryū said. Ace huffed and crossed his arms, pointedly looking away from Ryū smiling at him. 

More than a few seconds passed. Ryū had not moved. Ace would know, because he couldn't help looking back to check. He wasn't sure if Ryū even blinked at any point. He just continued to smile vacantly down at him, and it was– 

_“Goddammit,”_ Ace shouted, finally throwing his hands up. “Will you stop _staring_ at me?!” He nearly fell over when Luffy draped himself over his back and vehemently began prying the rubbery little body off him, ignoring his laughter. “Get _off!”_

“Ace is being _mean,_ ” Luffy moaned. He slumped to the floor, limbs splayed out and pouted up at the ceiling with an expression so personally offended that Sabo couldn't stop laughing. Whining loudly, he sat up just to rock on his butt in irritation. “Now _Sabo_ is being mean too! _Ryū-nii—!”_

Ryū, openly amused by his tiny brothers, finally raised his hands. Sabo cooperatively leaned into his eldest brother’s touch, allowing him to reach the tied ends of his bandages. It was a relief to feel the fabric be gently tugged loose one by one. 

Ryū moved with the careful precision of someone used to removing bandages, just as diligent as he always was changing them even when they all knew Sabo wouldn't need to _change_ anything anymore. “It won’t look great,” he warned the boys. He could still remember the first days after he got his bandages off. Koala had said it looked _raw_ , and every little breeze against it had felt overwhelmingly cold and uncomfortable for a long time. “You can’t just go thinking it’s okay to start rampaging in the dirt just because you don’t need some extra cloth on your face, now.” He sent a stern look at the boys until Ace grumbled a promise not to, Luffy just sniggering obliviously next to him. Sabo smiled innocently up at him. 

Ryū didn't believe a single second of it. 

“You know that won’t fool me,” he said, and wasn’t placated in the slightest when Sabo just shrugged and continued to smile. 

With one last tug, Ryū carefully peeled the last of the bandages away and swept them to the side in a messy pile. Luffy finally stopped moving. The treehouse was deafeningly silent for a long, unnerving moment. 

Slowly, Sabo looked up at his brothers. He ducked his head self consciously when neither of the boys reacted, frozen in place. “Is— is it that bad?” He asked quietly. Ryū swallowed shakily and subconsciously pressed his bangs over his eye. It was just long enough to cover the worst of his own scar, but the distinct feeling of being exposed never faded. 

Covered or not, his scars all ached like a dull, pulsing line of scraggly fire burning down his side. His matching, completely identical scar that was now permanently marking Sabo’s face. 

Slowly, Ace crawled forward. He hesitated before reaching out, hand paused midair between the two middle brothers and left it to Sabo to gently take his hand. They both swallowed uneasily. Sabo laid it over his new scar, nose scrunching up as rough fingertips grazed the still sensitive patch of skin. Still, he didn’t allow Ace to pull away. “Is it bad?” He asked again, and stared Ace down until the older fidgeted uncomfortably. 

Luffy’s shoulders slumped. There was a look on his face as if something terrible had been confirmed, and Ryū felt his face freeze before he could even twitch. “It’s the _same,”_ Luffy whispered. Sabo and Ace both shot him a glance before following his eyes to Ryū. A strange hush fell over the treehouse. Their eldest patiently held still as Luffy climbed into his lap, leaning down automatically to allow rubbery fingers to reach for his face without dislodging Sabo. “It’s the same,” He said mournfully. “It’s… exactly the same.” His fingers traced the jagged edges with a touch so light that for the briefest of moments Ryū felt like a child again, swaddled in bandages and band-aids and dark blue bruises. 

Ryū shut his eyes, unable to bring himself to look at his brothers. He felt _cold_ . As if the yawning chasm left behind from his Ace’s death had opened wide to remind him it was _there,_ begging he taste the grief he always sealed and _burned_. 

Grief burned into every slash and scar— and now it had seared into his little brother’s face just as permanently. Eating away at the flesh. 

_We bite off more than we can chew,_ he thought desolately, _and are left with nothing but a mouthful of ashes._

He felt _weak_. 

Heart aching, Ryū reached out to hold Luffy tighter, squeezing his tiny little brother to his chest. Warmth soaked into his freezing body but it wasn’t enough. It was _never_ enough, because—

 _It’s just a dream. They aren’t here. They never were. They’re not_ real _. Even in a dream, I can’t do anything right._

“I’m sorry I couldn’t prevent it,” he said solemnly. 

Warm little hands began to tug at his arms. Ryū opened his eyes to see both Ace and Sabo trying to pry his grip loose, tense and silent, and he let them just long enough for all three brothers to firmly tuck themselves into his arms. Ryū wasn’t entirely sure what kind of face he must have been making, for them all to look so distressed. 

Sabo was trembling against him. “You’re an _idiot,”_ he said weakly. His hands fell on Ryū's face, light as if touching paper-thin glass. “You _did_ prevent it,” he whispered, “You prevented us from being separated.” The child ducked his head, as if unable to continue meeting Ryū’s eyes. Scruffy blond hair pressed up against the underside of his jaw and Ryū sighed shakily. His left hand pressed into the boy’s hair before he could register moving, muffling Sabo’s following sob into his shoulder. 

Aces hands were so tight in the sleeve of his shirt that Ryū could faintly hear fabric ripping. The boy didn’t even seem to notice, eyes dark where they were pinned to the floorboards. “Did that happen to you?” He quietly asked, and Ryū could only think to hold his brothers closer. Luffy, in turn, wrapped himself all four of them securely, anchoring them in place just tight enough that the pressure made something in Ryūs gut unlock and loosen. Ace placed a steadying hand over Luffy’s arm wrapped firmly around him, the other still snagged on Ryū’s sleeve. Without even noticing, he had manipulated himself to press against as much of each brother as possible. His grey eyes were fogged and distant. “Did we… did we get separated, before?” 

_Did we get separated, from_ **_you?_ **

Ryū _ached_. He ached _cold, and tight, and lost—_

He smiled, because what else could he do?

“No,” Luffy murmured, _“no, no, no.”_ Ace gripped him so hard Ryū had to carefully focus his fraying mind on remaining solid. Sabo flinched violently against him, tiny fists shaking where they had twisted into his lapels. His shoulder was quickly becoming damp. 

“Don’t smile like that,” Ace whispered. “Please. It _hurts…_ ” 

“ _No, no, no, no, no.”_

Tiny rubbery hands pat frantically at his face, as if trying to wipe away tears. Ryū couldn't stop, couldn't force his face to stop smiling even as his small, hurt little brothers looked so wounded at the sight of it. 

_He ached, he ached, he ached._

Curling in tightly, he listened to the remnants of his family whimper in his arms. 

“Please,” Ace whispered, “don't smile like that. You’re not alone anymore.” 

“We’re here,” Luffy sobbed, “we’re _here…”_

 _“Ryū-nii,”_ Sabo whimpered, and Ryū shattered under the pressure. Shattered under the impossible task of keeping himself together. His brothers were a backdrop of pained whispers and warmth soaking into his arms, his chest, his stomach, and yet the grief continued to steal and swallow all it could of him. 

_It’s all a dream, and yet it hurts so much._

_I hope I don’t wake up._

They’d be better tomorrow. They’d have to. 

“You’re not alone anymore, Ryū-nii. We’re all _here._ _All_ of us.” 

_Please, not yet._

* * *

Waking up was… difficult. Not just for the tears, or the crick in his neck– though that was annoyingly painful as well– but because it took a near worrying amount of time to untangle his little brothers from where they had fallen asleep wrapped around him and each other. 

If Ryū was going to be honest, he would have been perfectly content not to move for another indiscernible number of hours. But Ryū had never been honest in his life, including towards himself, and he could already hear Luffy’s stomach rumbling even in his sleep. A good meal and a sparring session would go a long way to shake them out of the _mood_ they had accidentally tripped into last night. 

Not to mention, it had been a while before Ryū felt comfortable enough allowing Sabo to join them for training, and he _would_ be inevitably joining them. Ryū doubted he could or would be able to keep Sabo out of sparring indefinitely– and it wouldn't be fair or smart to avoid teaching him as well, when Ryū knew he would need it someday (no matter how selfishly he wished he could just wrap them all up in thick blankets and take them with him. At least they would stay safe like that). His burns had healed exceptionally well– Sabo barely needed the painkillers anymore, and whenever Ryū had changed his bandages the scar tissue had been developing without complications. 

Ryū himself couldn't remember dealing with any infection or worsening conditions from his accident, but he also had been in an actual excuse for an infirmary and not in a jungle with a single semi-capable adult and two other children. It wasn’t worth taking any chances and risking Sabo’s health. 

But he could see Sabo getting twitchy being forced to watch his brothers train every day. Not remembering his old routines didn't stop his body from craving them. 

So... it had to happen _eventually_. However, that didn't account for how the boys would take it, even though they all knew this would be happening.

In retrospect, he probably should have expected this to happen after last night. Ace and Luffy weren't about to just forget the conversation they had– But he hadn't accounted for _this_ happening. 

“I hit you too hard, didn't I? Don't lie to me, I know you better than that!” 

Sabo scowled, pushing himself off the ground with shaking arms. “Yeah, so what if you do?! I'm an amnesiac, not a weakling!” He brushed off Ace’s attempt to help him up, instead stumbling forward to pick his pipe back up. “One more. I’ll get it this time!” 

Ryū hummed, glancing at the tally marks Luffy had scraped into the dirt. Sabo had a decent amount of wins, but nowhere near what he had before– not to mention he became winded rather quickly. Weeks of fairly strict bedrest and sitting on the sidelines had made his body soft where his amnesia made his mind vulnerable. “Maybe we should break for lunch,” he commented. 

“No!” Sabo said. He shook his head roughly. “I almost got it! Just one more time–” 

Ace crossed his arms. Despite his scowl, residual fear still fogged his eyes when he caught Sabo’s new scars. “I'm not going to spar you if you're not okay! You could get seriously hurt!” 

_“Not if you won't take me seriously!”_

Luffy whimpered, pulling his hat down over his face. Ryū frowned. _“Stop_. That’s enough for today.” Sabo whipped around, face flushed and brows drawn but Ryū just shook his head. _“No,_ Sabo. We’re stopping for today. Training won't help if you’re too hot-headed to learn.” He sighed when a blank mask drew over his doppleganger’s face, thick as wool but still just as recognizable for the anger underneath. 

_“Fine,”_ he hissed. “It’s not as if I can get any stronger if none of you are even going to try against me.” 

Ace glared, patience snapping. “You’re my brother!” he shouted, temper flaring. “You were injured for so long–– I’m not about to kill you right after you healed enough to spar again!” Sabo clenched his hands into shaking fists. 

_“I’m not fragile,”_ He said lowly. “I’m not some doll that’s gonna shatter from some rough handling! I– I want to get _stronger,”_ he pleaded. “You and Luffy have been training the entire time I’ve been just _sitting_ here, and I can't _remember_ how it used to be, and I _never will_ if you _never let me do anything!”_ Ace reared back as if slapped. Sabo turned away, jaw tight. “If you won't train with me, I’ll just do it alone.” Without another word, the little blond raced off into the forest without looking back. 

Ace immediately leaped after him, only to be caught hissing and spitting mid-air by Ryū. “Stay here,” Ryū said seriously, immediately cutting off any protests. He placed Ace down to allow Luffy to cling to him, effectively pinning him in place. “I'll go talk to him.” 

“Are we really hurting Sabo?” Luffy burst out, voice frantic. Ace wheezed when his limbs subconsciously tightened around his chest. “He was _really_ mad…” 

Ryū sighed, kneeling to hug both boys gently. It was telling how Ace didn't even protest, instead pressing his face into his shoulder and squeezing his eyes shut. Four tiny hands fisted themselves into his coat. “Sabo feels like you're excluding him,” he said quietly. “It’s good you're looking out for him, but too much can be suffocating. He needs to find his place again and you two aren't letting him.” He ruffled both boys’ hair and grinned down at them. “Don't worry, I'll go find our wayward brother. We won't even miss lunch!” 

The boys reluctantly untangled from him, sitting back down on the dirt forlornly. “Okay,” Ace mumbled. “...But I’m not sorry.” Everything about his posture, from the furrow of his brow to the line of his shoulders, were stiff, solid. He was stubborn as ever. Ryū fought the urge to sigh. A decade of being apart couldn't seem to erase Ace’s need to continue every fight, even ones not technically his own. “Sabo is _hurt_. I– we have to keep watch until he’s better.” 

Ryū couldn't help the tiny, bittersweet smile he could feel quirking on his face despite the frustration. Ace didn't even frown when he pulled him in for a hug. He only held onto him tightly, letting Ryū lean down to murmur, “You have to let him be, Ace, we can’t protect everything forever– and Sabo needs to be allowed to protect himself, too.” Without another word, Ryū stepped back and tousled both their hair before turning to vanish into the undergrowth after their missing brother. 

* * *

Sabo flinched when he heard familiar boots crunch into the leaves next to his hiding spot. 

For a long moment, Ryū didn't say anything. Sabo squeezed his eyes shut, desperately hoping Ryū wasn't about to tell him to leave, or go home, or– or–– a gloved hand gently touched his shoulder. “Hey,” Ryū said softly. Sabo didn't look up from his knees, remaining curled tightly in the crevice between roots. He didn't protest when Ryū smoothly slid into the space next to him. His lungs felt small and withered, as if no amount of breath would fill them again. His entire chest was too tight. 

Ryū was warm against his side. 

“You know they're just looking out for you.” 

He knew. 

“They have a right to worry about their brother.”

He _knew_. 

“But _you_ also have the right to prove yourself, whenever and however you feel you need to.” 

Sabo’s eyes widened in surprise. He whipped around to face Ryū and nearly looked away again when the older man smiled brightly at him. Heart racing, Sabo looked down at his hands. “I… I just want them to take me seriously,” He said. His hands shook, soft, calluses faded after weeks of inactivity. He clenched them tightly to avoid looking at them, something disgusting curling in his stomach. “I don't– don’t _remember_ how I was, before the... the accident,” He started, hesitant and weak, “I don’t remember if I was ever– if I– if I could ever be as strong as Ace is now." He looked up at Ryū, eyes wet with tears he harshly blinked back. "I don't _remember_ how to fight," He whispered, “I hate being so _useless_ all the time.” 

Ryū was quiet. 

Sabo startled when he abruptly stood, stepping carefully out of the little enclosure. Without his consent, one of his arms uncurled to stretch towards his brother, freezing just before it could latch onto his coat. “Ryū-nii…?” Ryū did not leave, did not move his gaze from Sabo’s face even to acknowledge the aborted reach. His eyes were piercing. A familiar blue that was wiser than Sabo felt like he could ever be; even with the proof standing in front of him. 

“Come here, Sabo,” Ryū commanded. Sabo was on his feet before he could even register why; his body instinctively reacting to the tone his future self took. His legs were trembling in exhaustion. Every muscle pulled and stung with each motion. Gingerly, he stepped out into the small clearing. 

"Look at me." Ryū’s voice was hard, unyielding as steel. Sabo swallowed nervously, unable to blink away from his brother. His heart raced in his throat and he barely understood _why_ . _"Look at me,"_ Ryū said again, softer, and when he pressed gently against the flesh of Sabo's arm the touch scalded all the way down to the sore muscles underneath. "You _know_ who I am, Sabo. You know what I am. Can you look me in the eyes, and tell me that you do not know how to fight?" His grip tightened, digging into Sabo's arms but never enough to bruise. Even when laughing, when manic and angry and sad, Ryū had never hurt any of them. "Can you look at me and tell me, honestly, that _you believe that you're useless?"_

Sabo's tongue stuttered in his mouth, thick and dry as a summer drought. "I–I–"

Stripped of all pretenses; laid bare. Ryū stared right through him. It was if Sabo had no flesh, no bones to hide behind. Not even his amnesia could hide him from his brother– from _himself_.

 _"You are not useless,_ Sabo," Ryū said, with the same stony certainty that the sun was bright and the sky blue. "You can’t remember the spars, or hunts, or the days spent here with your brothers; and I can’t tell you if you ever will–" _I will never let Ace die as long as I am here to protect him, to protect you, and Luffy, and everyone we care about. Your trauma will never surface again if it means you must suffer first._ "–but your body _will_ remember what your brain can’t." 

Days with the revolutionaries, with Koala, spent moving instinctively– a hand firm and easy around a pole, a pipe, a staff, all without ever knowing _why_ – "I am here to _help_ _you_ , Sabo. You have to trust that.” There was never anything else to trust. Sabo had slotted all his cards with these people, who came and got him and said they were his family; and a part of him clearly believed them the moment he saw them. A part of him, ineffably, understood they were his brothers, that they loved him and wanted him to come home. 

He had followed that instinct into the forest without looking back. What _else_ could he trust? 

Sabo's chest tightened, a fist drawn around his heart. His throat constricted around a trembling "I _can’t,"_ before he could even spare a second to think. Ryū's hands were scalding, as if ready to burn straight through the fabric where they were anchored over his sleeves. 

Sabo couldn’t– couldn't _focus_. 

"Even _if_ the muscle memory is there, I'm not strong like Ace, or even Luffy– I'm _soft_. My calluses are _gone–"_ his heart stuttered in his chest and he tripped over his words, momentarily confused, because his palms had _never_ been calloused, _had they–?_ "–I'm _weak_ , I'm weak and I– I _can't_ , Ryū––" Every word took air he couldn’t get back. He was suffocating right there in the dirt, in front of Ryū, every insecurity and fear and weakness pulled tight like so much scar tissue–

"Then _I'll help you,"_ Ryū said patiently. "Then we'll meet here _every night_ until all the softness is trained out of you."

"I'll _never_ catch up–"

Sabo nearly bit his tongue off gasping when Ryū snapped his hand up, pulling it between them with an expression of such intensity that Sabo was left blinking in startled shock. A familiar shiny coating of black flared up over his arm. 

Ryū raised his haki-infused hand, and Sabo felt alarmingly like watching a man grip a knife by the blade, or aiming a loaded gun. 

_“This,”_ Ryū said calmly, “is _haki.”_

Sabo yelped, scrambling backward when Ryū abruptly shot forward and splintered a nearby boulder to pebbles with his bare fingers. Fine dust particles turned his gloves grey. Sabo had no idea what he was supposed to do, or even say. He was frozen in place with no ability to do either. Ryū flexed his fingers, trying uselessly to shake off the bits of rock coating his hand. 

"You think you're behind?" He asked, and it wasn’t a question. Not really. "Then I will do as I have and will always do, and _I will help you."_ His second hand left Sabo's arm to just peel the glove away, revealing skin still a smooth obsidian black. When he picked up the chunks of stone left, they crumbled to nothing between his fingers. "Haki is an advanced technique. It’s used throughout the grand line." Through every word, every action, Ryū's eyes never even twitched away from Sabo's. They both held fast as if melded like metal. Sabo was left transfixed, mildly terrified– but not of Ryū. Not of his brother, not of being hurt, leaving his inherent fear unexplainable and frustrating– "Only the _strongest_ know haki," Ryū said, with all the practiced ease of a well-loved statement.

“And I am going to teach you how to use it.” 

Sabo’s eyes were huge, still stuck staring at the powdered remains of the previously huge rock in disbelief. _“That?”_ He nearly shouted, gesturing as if it would make more sense the longer he stared. “You want me to learn _that?”_ he gaped watching Ryū casually brush mineral dust off his palms. Seeing him be so nonchalant after such a blatant display of power was disconcerting. _Is this really what I became? What everyone is like, in the Grandline?_

Sabo’s heart strangled, high in his throat. _Just how far behind are we?_

“You said you want them to take you seriously?” Ryū said. “Then I will teach you how to use haki.” He finally looked away, pausing in his movements to instead brush a few stray locks of hair out from where it had begun growing out into his eyes. It only flopped back into place with new streaks of grey dusting the blond and Ryū hummed in irritation.

Sabo was speechless. 

“I was always planning to teach all of you how to use it eventually,” Ryū admitted, something quiet and almost sheepish buried in his tone. “...But not until you all had more basics down. Haki isn't very common here in East Blue– so it would give us all some attention we’re not really ready for yet. But–” He gazed calmly at Sabo. “–If you feel it will stop Ace and Luffy from being so anxious about you fighting again, I will teach it to _you_ first.” 

Sabo _stared_. 

Ryū kneeled, holding a hand out towards him. “So? What do you think? I won't force you, it's okay to say no. I get it if you want to do this on your own, and I won't stop you.”

Sabo couldn't find it in himself to answer just yet. He stared wordlessly down at Ryū’s outstretched hand, unable to comprehend what was happening. 

A strange feeling began to spark deep in his throat, flaring up from his heart. His vision tunneled around that hand. Ryū’s hand, skin moonlight pale, smeared a dusty grey from the boulder he pulverized to nothing. Palm up, fingers open and lax. 

_Those fingers could kill me,_ Sabo realized. _Could close and crush me like the bugs Luffy keeps bringing home. Could turn my bones to mush. Ace said he killed a pirate with his bare hands. I don't doubt it._

The same hands, open and inviting. The same hands beckoning him towards them, offering help. The same hands he'd by now seen cradle Ace and Luffy and himself countless times, often as unfailingly gentle as if touching clouds or spider-webs. The same hands that brought him home, confused and in pain from Dragon’s ship, and ruffled his hair when he woke up. 

An opportunity he couldn't even think to refuse. 

Ryū smiled with all his teeth when Sabo stepped forward to placed his hand in his, and Sabo had never felt safer or more determined since waking up those weeks ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, kind of hitting a little block with later chapters but still ahead of the game! my course work isn't horribly intense, and im awake more now, so i have more time and focus to spend on actually reworking what i have instead of just Winging it in for Red to deal with. 
> 
> this is the one story im currently and actively using to improve my own writing skills, so dont hesitate to say if there are confusing parts or things needing to be fleshed out ;) thanks for reading as always.
> 
> 12/7/19 - clarity edit, spacing


	8. Mentally Sound, Physically Stable (Only Liar Fits the Label)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabo isn't taking anymore bullshit. neither is Ace, in his own way– and Luffy is just excited to watch his brothers beat each other up. 
> 
> (Ryu is 60% of the Bullshit personified, but you didn't hear that from me)

Sabo’s hands were tight around his pipe. He hadn't looked up from his feet since Ryū had stopped them for the night even to watch the sunrise over the treetops. For a long moment, Ryū paused in the clearing before the treehouse and just looked at his new little brother. Sabo was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice he had stopped until he walked straight into Ryū’s legs. Startled, he stumbled back with eyes wide and looked up, face scrunched up in confusion. 

“Hey.” Sabo finally met his eyes and Ryū smiled reassuringly. “You’re gonna kick his ass. Chin up.” 

A beat passed. Right before his eyes, Sabo’s face changed. Every conflicting hesitation cleared up like smoke in the wind until all that was left was the same fire and coal that fueled them all. His blue eyes burned so _familiarly_ that Ryū was nearly breathless with it. Ryū’s smile stretched until all his teeth were bared, something primal thrumming through them both despite the context. “Win him over, Kiddo,” he hissed in excitement, and stepped back into the edge of the clearing with a single smooth movement until all Sabo could make out of his figure was a dark outline and a cheshire grin. 

Sabo set his shoulders. _There is no turning back. There never was– I_ have _to do this._

“Ace!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, “Luffy!” 

A loud crash immediately came from the treehouse up above and Ryū snickered to himself when Ace nearly rocketed himself out of the tree, grip denting the pipe clumsily held in his hand. “Wha–” He started, still half asleep, and shouted when Luffy slammed into his back with enough force to catapult him to the forest floor. They landed in an awkward heap, bouncing once over a tree root and tumbling through the dirt until they smacked into another root. Ace hastily shoved Luffy off with a grumbled curse before shooting to his feet. His eyes frantically darted around, searching for whatever he assumed Sabo screamed for– but when he only managed to see Sabo and Ryū he straightened, face scrunched in confusion. 

Sabo looked on, expression dead serious. 

“Sabo?” Ace said, brow furrowing, “What’s wrong?” He couldn't see anything immediately wrong with his brother– nothing marking him beyond the usual wear and tear of his clothes and the dirt on his hands to prove he needed help– but he knew his heart wouldn't stop racing. Not until he was _sure._ Confused, he stepped closer, intent on searching his brother for injuries only to freeze when Sabo stepped further out of reach. 

Ace’s stare sharpened to attention. The confusion didn't fade– but his back straightened, his focus centered. “Sabo,” He said again, only to trail off abruptly. Both boys were utterly still. Luffy, still struggling to his feet, was more silently attentive to his brothers than Ryū had seen since Sabo first came home. 

“Fight me, Ace.” Sabo’s voice brokered no arguments. Ace could easily recognize his own determination mirrored on his brother’s face. He knew Sabo would not back down, knew the grip he had on his pipe was something _final._

Still, he hesitated. 

It was an answer, and not one Sabo appreciated. _“Fight me, Ace,”_ he hissed venomously. Tense like a viper coiling to strike, Sabo planted his feet firmly in the dirt. The blond swung his pipe outward and Ace tensed, eyes following the weapon diligently. Both boys fell into a fighting stance seemingly without breathing, without blinking. “You don’t think I can take care of myself,” Sabo said, with such unparalleled certainty that Ace’s mouth snapped shut before he could even begin to speak. “You think what happened to me made me _weak.”_ His older brother’s eyes widened and something dark and satisfying curling into Sabo’s gut when he flung his pipe to the side hard enough to embed it firmly into a tree. He watched grey eyes flicker to it, briefly stunned, confused, before being forced to refocus as he stepped closer– all resolve and violent intent. 

Seeing it gave him confidence. Strengthened his will into something solid as steadfast as bedrock. “Then _fight me!”_ Sabo challenged. He knew his eyes were pleading– only Ryū could hope to stop any hint of the desperation he felt from leaking out. It was unavoidable, as was this fight. Sabo wasn't going to allow the world to keep pressing him down, even in the form of his own brother. 

“Come at me with _everything you got!”_

Ryū, standing in the sidelines, split the shadows he stood under with a smile. 

“ _Woah!_ Ace, Sabo!” Luffy shouted in alarm as his brother rocketed towards Sabo. All traces of Ace’s earlier hesitation had dissolved from his expression as if salt into water. Eyes huge in distress, their smallest brother scrambled over to Ryū and latched tightly onto his coat. “Ryū-nii–!” He started, cutting himself off as if surprised to see him, as if having fixated on his oldest brother subconsciously was something confusing– (and it would be, Ryū knew, because Luffy didn't know what haki was yet, wouldn't know how _amazing and special_ he is just yet and Ryū couldn't be prouder but this was _not the time)_ “Why are they fighting?!” 

His eldest brother grinned at him, every tooth bared with unashamed excitement. “Your brothers aren’t _fighting,_ Lu,” he said, and Luffy couldn't help but relax when the familiar weight of a gloved hand playfully pressed his hat down over his eyes. “They’re making up!” 

What would no sense to any onlooker made Luffy smile so wide his face stretched to accommodate it, sunny and bright. “Oh— Okay!” He said. Just accepted it as easily as he did everything to do with his brothers, and Ryū cackled gleefully when their youngest little brother promptly spun on his heels and threw his arms up, cheering _“Go Ace!! Go Sabo!!”_ At the top of his lungs. 

Neither of the boys reacted to the cheering, tunnel-vision fixated on each other. Ace charged in the brief lull, pipe held low to the ground. His eyes flashed with a complex mix of confusion and frustrated fear when Sabo didn’t immediately make to dodge and he instinctively jerked to the side just before he would have dented his brother’s skull in. It was only a millisecond of hesitation, of impulse, and yet the slip made it easy for Sabo to get in close and left Ace cursing. 

Sabo stilled back into a crouch when Ace leaped backward, both watching the other warily. Ace’s face was pallid but quickly flushed with anger. “Are you _stupid?!”_ Ace yelled, “Why didn’t you dodge!?”

If Ace’s expression was heated, Sabo’s was _glacial_. “Because I knew you’d be too _scared_ to _just_ _hit me,”_ he snarled in response. 

Ace grit his teeth as the blond again shot towards him, hand drawn back, and swung his pipe out in front of himself defensively. It didn’t manage to do a thing. Sabo’s hand bled black, shiny as solid steel, and Ace only had time to jerk in surprise before Sabo’s hand hit his pipe and _snapped it_ before continuing right past Ace’s block. He was pinned before he could even think past his shock– a knee jabbed into his ribs, another dug into the dirt for a lithe ankle to hook his thigh to the ground. Twisted into his tank top, his brother’s hand was recognizably black, shiny and _infuriatingly strong._

_“That’s—“_

Sabo’s eyes were like chunks of ice, as cold and distant as when he talked about High Town. Ace could barely comprehend that look being meant for _him_. “It’s haki,” he said calmly. “Ryū taught me.” He released his grip on Ace’s tank top without even blinking away from his face, every blank sweep of his eyes a frigid challenge. “That’s one win for me.” He didn’t allow Ace a word in edgewise before immediately lunging again. 

Luffy cheered from where he was now sitting cross-legged by Ryū’s side, gripping his hat tightly in uncontained excitement. “You _taught_ Sabo that?!” He practically squealed. “Are you gonna teach _us_ that?!” Ryū cackled like a maniac with delight instead of responding and Luffy nearly exploded out of his spot with glee. They both snickered when Ace got thrown right past them to smash into a tree trunk hard enough to rip the roots straight out of the dirt. 

Sabo was beginning to pant heavily, sweat running down his face. Ryū didn't like how his little brother was beginning to pale from exertion. He had to be careful Sabo didn't overtax himself or else the entire exercise would be pointless– they'd all be right back at square one. The nightly training had helped to rebuild the majority of stamina lost from the months recuperating, but it would take more than a measly handful of weeks with haki lessons to completely erase the impact of the Celestial Dragon’s incident just yet. All of the boys were able to heal quickly, to rebound quickly– but not even _monsters_ could hope to bounce back so quickly. 

Ace pushed himself up from the dirt on trembling limbs. Teeth grit tightly, he struggled back onto his feet for the _nth_ time. “Cheater,” He hissed. “You could never have down this if Ryū didn't tell you how!” He had lost what was left of his pipe an indiscernible number of matches ago, leaving his hands subconsciously opening and closing as if looking for something to grip. “If you didn't know haki, you wouldn't be able to beat me!” He was forced to scramble backward as Sabo charged him, haki infused fist slamming down where he had been standing with enough force to crack a crater into the forest floor. 

“But I _do_ know haki!” Sabo yelled, chest heaving with the effort of it. His legs nearly folded holding him up but he managed all the same, glaring his brother down with a stubbornness Ace knew better than to hope for him to give in. “I know haki, and I _can_ beat you. You haven't won a single round, Ace!” Sabo grinned as if baring his teeth to bite. So far it had been Ace forced to resort to dirtier tactics, but he still wouldn't put it past his brother. Neither of them were above using everything they had. “I’m not _weak_. I can take care of myself!” 

“You––” Ace faltered, and Sabo snarled something nasty and pounced, pulling back a fist already bleeding black. 

There was a telling tremble to Sabo’s arms. Ryū abruptly stepped back into the clearing and swept between the boys. 

Sabo’s eyes widened and he pulled back at the last second, but his legs finally gave out and he flew full force into Ryū, trying in vain to catch himself the whole way. His fist shook where it had landed right in Ryū’s gut. “Oh–– _Shit,_ I–” He jerked back and only managed to stumble over his own feet, all his balance turned to deadweight and useless muscle. Ryū swiftly snagging him by the shoulder was all that stopped him from toppling backward into the dirt. “T-thanks– did-did I–” His throat closed. 

Ryū seemed completely unaffected, not a single sign of strain in his face. He hadn't been in the right mind to pay attention, but there had been no give when Sabo had hit him. Sabo almost wondered if it had made a clear noise he had missed– like slamming a sledgehammer into a brick wall rather than flesh. Regardless, Sabo traced his features carefully, searching in a near panic for a single hint of pain on his most elusive brother’s face. “Are you– okay–?” 

“No harm done,” Ryū chirped. Sabo’s legs felt like jelly. He wasn't entirely sure he’d be able to stand up again if he sat. As it was, the steel grip on his arm was all that currently kept him standing. Ryū carefully lowered him down, allowing him to sit before Ace could see him do something embarrassing like collapse. 

Reaching behind him, Ryū dragged Ace to sit beside Sabo. the boy’s pulse still raced under Ryū’s hand, his skin burning hot even through the thin fabric of his gloves. Luffy zoomed up from behind him and Ryū caught the boy without even glancing, smoothly depositing him at his heels like a cowed puppy. 

“Playtime’s over,” He declared firmly. Luffy groaned loudly, but both Ace and Sabo huffed, arms crossed. Neither allowed themselves to meet each other’s eyes. “That’s enough, don't you two think? I know you’re both smart enough to know what this means.” Ace only scowled harder and Sabo shot a scrutinizing look at him that made his shoulders square stiffly. Ryū did not doubt that Sabo was still completely raring to go, overexerted or not. _Was I really this bad? Were_ **_we_ ** _all–? Was Ace still like this, before he….?_ He fought the urge to scrub a hand through his hair in frustration. “Ace?” He tried. 

The second eldest squirmed uncomfortably, fingers digging into his arms. Grey eyed flickered briefly to Ryū, then to Sabo, before darting right back onto the dirt. “I…” His jaw clamped shut, teeth clicking audibly. Beside him, Sabo was practically _bristling_. Ryū could almost see his blood pressure shooting right back up and over any reasonable threshold for a healing amnesiac. 

“What?” He taunted, tone poisonous, “Can't admit when you’ve lost?” He didn't even flinch when Ace spun on him, expression thunderous. Sabo refused to back down and only got further in Ace’s face. “Why don’t you just say it!” 

Ryū sighed loudly, completely ignored. 

_I really need a nap_. 

Beside him, Luffy’s eyes switched between his brothers, wide and alarmed. 

If Ace still had the Mera-Mera, Ryū had no doubt he would be spitting flames right then. “Say _what?!”_ He snapped, “What do you want me to _say_ Sabo?!” His hands clenched into fists, digging into the dirt. His tone was almost desperate. _“What do you want from me?!”_

“I _want_ you to tell me the _truth!”_

“I don't even know what that _is!”_

Sabo’s eyes pricked with tears and Ace jerked back, eyes wide. “Just admit that– that you think I’m _weak_ , Ace,” His voice cracked on the word and he slumped back, leaving Ace dumbstruck. 

“W-what?”

Sabo didn't reply, eyes shut in pain. Ryū pushed his hat down over his eyes. _I feel like I shouldn’t be seeing this… even if it is me._

It hurt to watch. Ached somewhere fiercely, ached as strong as it always did when he visited Ace’s grave, or held his poster. 

It ached knowing he never had this. 

Ace slowly reached out, nearly flinching back when he touched Sabo’s shoulder. “Sabo,” He tried. “Sabo.” His expression bled into panic when Sabo wouldn't respond and Ryū pulled Luffy back into his arms, stepping a pace out of their space when Ace hesitantly nudged at his brother until he uncurled enough to let him in. 

“I don’t think you’re weak!” He ducked low, trying to meet Sabo’s eyes, but the blond pulled away and he was left clutching empty air uselessly. “Sabo, please…” 

“You’re scared,” Sabo whispered hoarsely. For all that the words were quiet Ace still flinched as if Sabo had screamed them. His hands scrubbed at his face, smearing dirt and tears over his nose and cheek. “You’re _scared_ of me now. You won't let me do _anything.”_

Ace shook his head violently but Sabo still wouldn't look at him. His eyes stayed firmly pinned to the ground. Every last bit of anger evaporated into defeat so quickly that Ace was visibly reeling from it, hands frozen midair as if unsure what to do with them. “You an’ Lu’ treat me like _glass_. It’s like… it’s like I never left home,” he admitted. The following quiet, stunned and silent, had his shoulders squaring as if he realized he said a secret he hadn't meant to let out. 

Ace shuddered like the very words were _disgusting._

“No,” He murmured, “No, no, no.” His nails dug into his palms so hard Ryū could see them trembling even from where he had stepped away. Luffy whimpered quietly into his coattails but Ryū wouldn't risk moving away– not just yet. 

_“No!”_ Ace snarled, and the absolute vehemence in the word made Sabo start. His head snapped up to look at him with wide eyes. “You're- you're not _weak,_ Sabo,” Ace said quickly, as if all the air was leaving his lungs with one sentence; “You’re our _brother_. You’re a monster, like _us–_ you– you _can't_ be–” He looked right into Sabo’s eyes and all the fight drained straight out of him, vanishing without a trace. 

_“...weak,”_ He finally choked out. 

For a moment, none of them found the words to say anything. None of them even moved. Ryū wasn't entirely sure either of the boys were breathing, too fixated on staring each other down. 

Then Ace cursed, the sound filled with endless awkward frustration, and he sat back on his butt to throw his arms out wide, legs spread out straight in front of him. Sabo watched, visibly more confused than he had been in days. “Look,” He snapped, and pointed at one of his new bruises blooming dark and purple on his forearm. “You gave me these.” He wiped the dirt off his knee to uncover another huge bruise, and then another on his calf, “Look how many I have! You practically spilled _paint_ on me–” another set of bruises, as if Sabo had pelted his ribs with a cluster of plums– “I’m _covered_ in them.” 

Sabo blinked. “Wh-Wha–” Ace was on him in half a second, hands tight on his shoulders. His eyes bore into his little brother’s with a frantic energy almost uncomfortable to watch. 

“You beat the _shit_ out of me, Sabo,” Ace declared, without a trace of shame. All Ryū could see on him, under the motley of bruises and dirt, was pride. It was an almost jarring expression on the second eldest’s face. “You’re a manipulative asshole, and you hate your parents, and you’re as stubborn as me, or Lu, or Ryū, because you’re _our_ _brother_ and _you're not weak.”_

Ryū couldn't possibly be more proud. 

Sabo gaped at Ace, too shocked to do more than stare at his brother. Both boys jolted when a hand clapped onto their shoulders and they snapped to attention, looking up to see Ryū grinning at them sunnily. Luffy beamed around their oldest brother’s hip. He had calmed down the moment Ace had sat down, and it took a good portion of Ryū’s attention to keep him from charging into the conversation they all knew Sabo and Ace desperately needed to have. 

“Good job, boys!” Ryū said, and he and Luffy cackled gleefully when both middle brothers flushed a violent red all the way down their necks. He wished he had a recording den-den so, so badly. Maybe Garp would send one, if it meant a tidal wave of pictures of his grandkids. (He immediately shut down that thought before it could lead to things more treacherous, like talking to Garp, or willing keeping in contact with him. Maybe whatever brain damage he got in Vegapunk’s lab really was translating into his dreams.) “Glad to see you two come to your senses!”

 _“Lu! Ryū!”_ The boys screeched, struggling to leap to their feet and chase down their now deviously sniggering littlest and biggest brother as they predictably scampered off into the undergrowth. Ace in particular looked murderous– thought Ryū knew, with a backward glance, that the pseudo-eldest was just as happy to see Sabo laughing again. 

_“GET BACK HERE!”_

* * *

Ryū was in the middle of skinning his second crocodile for lunch when Ace trotted up beside him. 

Ace hesitated, eyes briefly flickering away when Ryū immediately turned to smile at him. It wasn't a long wait, luckily, just a moment for Ace to awkwardly shift his weight and gather whatever composure he needed. “Are you going to teach all of us haki?” He blurted out. Ryū stopped working. Looking up, Ace shrank back a little when he saw Ryū staring blankly at him. 

Ryū finally reacted, face scrunching in confusion. “Of course I am,” he said, openly aghast. Ace froze and Ryū frowned. _Haven't I been transparent about this? They need to know haki, it was never an option not to teach it to them!_ “Haki is the best offense _and_ defense— It’d be stupid for me not to teach you and Lu.” 

Ace just shifted uneasily. 

Sighing, Ryū set the knife and hide down to turn and face his brother properly, eyes serious. He had a sinking feeling he knew why Ace felt the need to ask and he didn't like it. 

_Always looking for an explanation for the inherent. Always so ready to doubt the people who love him. Did he ever manage to stop, before he died?_ Ryū felt his face twitch and immediately smoothed it over before Ace could catch anything wrong. 

“Sabo got a head start because he needed to prove himself, but I always planned to teach all three of you haki.” He flicked Ace in the forehead with a tiny push of haki and grinned playfully when the boy yelped. “Plus, it’s what good ol’ Gramps uses. You’re gonna learn the _Fist of Love,”_ he teased. Ace blanched at the thought and violently shook his head, making Ryū snicker. “Okay, maybe no fist of love. It will be good for you three to know armament haki before we head for Grand Line waters though— it’s the only way to do some actual damage to some devil fruit users.”

Ace’s gaze sharpened and Ryū’s back instinctively straightened, shoulders squaring without a thought. “The only way?” He repeated, tone just slightly off. Ryū just looked at him for a moment. If any suspicion showed on his face, it didn’t register to Ace. The boy only looked more and more intense the longer Ryū hesitated, as if Ryū’s silence was all the answer he needed. 

_Why does he keep looking at me like that?_

_Like I’ve just flashed the key to a cage._

“...Yeah,” he eventually continued. The unease, the anticipation, was all shoved down and muffled under a hundred mental blankets. _Ace just likes to pick fights. It makes sense he’d be interested in how best to do that. I shouldn’t be so worried.... at least until he gets caught up somewhere he needs me to help him out of._

Resolve set, Ryū shook off the dregs of his reaction and nodded. “Yeah. Some devil fruit users, especially logia, can’t even be touched without haki.” He let his eyes shifted past Ace, back towards the treehouse. “Luffy isn't a logia, but punching won’t hurt him, does it?” Ace didn't nod, but Ryū continued anyway. He didn't doubt the boy already caught exactly what he was implying. “If you used haki, it definitely would.” Ace visibly glowered at the thought and Ryū chuckled warmly. He had to burn away the growing impulsive affection to ruffle his hair, knowing his little brother wouldn’t be fond of having blood and crocodile guts smeared into his locks. 

“Okay,” Ace said. 

Ryū smiled at him and reached to pick up his knife. 

“Then fight me tomorrow, without it.” 

Ryūs hand slipped. He barely jerked his hand back in time to avoid his knife slashing a line of fire along his fingers. When he looked back up at Ace, grey eyes were watching him intently. Trained on him, as if a glance away was a missed opportunity— and yet Ryū didn’t know for _what_. 

“Why would you want that?” Ryū managed, honestly confused. He kept Ace’s eyes pinned to his face, to the movement of his features as he discreetly set the knife back down sat from his hands. It would do no good to have an accident and risk giving himself away a second time. “You want to learn how to use haki, don’t you?” 

“Yes.” There was no hesitation. It only made Ryū more confused. Ace barrelled right on without a blink. “You can use it to shield yourself right? You said it’s a defense too.” Blinking, Ryū only nodded. Apprehension twisted in his gut, quiet and unignorable. 

Ace’s eyes burned into his with all the resolve of a hunter finding a track in the snow. “Then fight me without it,” he challenged, “I want to see if I can beat you otherwise.” 

For a moment, Ryū stared at him, absolutely befuddled. Ace stared back unblinkingly. 

_He’s completely serious,_ Ryū realized. _Does he really want to fight me that bad? What rides so strongly on this for him?_ Ace was completely unwavering— the longer Ryū paid attention, the more questions he had. “You can’t,” he finally admitted. “Fighting me without even the basics of haki— you won’t win, Ace.” He expected Ace to glare, to argue, but instead, the boy just rocked back on his heels and grinned. It was so jarringly dissonant from what he knew that Ryū was almost anxious.

“You admit it then–” He said, and the victory heard in the statement made Ryū wonder where he messed up and how. _Was my brother always this weird?_

“–You have a Devil Fruit!” 

Ryū’s heart plummeted straight through the dirt, and then kept going. 

Unable to do much else, he went as still as stone. His expression didn’t so much as twitch on his face. Nothing got past his defenses, no panic, no fear—

* * *

Ace paused, slowly lowering his arms from where he had excitedly thrown them up into the air. “...Ryū?” When he got no response he frowned and stepped closer, a hand instinctively grabbing onto Ryū’s vest. “Ryū-nii?” Even though the layers of clothing, Ryū was coiled so _tightly_ under Ace’s hand. It was as if his brother had turned to stone right in front of him, not breathing, not moving. His heart pounded under Ace’s touch. Alarmed, he grabbed Ryū’s collar and violently shook him. “Hey! Say something!” 

He jerked back in shock when Ryū startled, blue eyes wide. 

“Ace,” he finally managed, and Ace’s heart stuttered wildly in his throat when two gloved hands firmly gripped onto his arms, pinning him before he could impulsively step back. Ryū’s eyes were slightly filmed over in panic. “Why do you think that?” He asked, and for the life of him, Ace couldn't grasp _what the hell was going on._

“T-think what?” Squirming didn’t even budge a single finger. Ryū didn’t seem to even be aware he was moving. His hands were so solid it was more like having manacles shackled tightly to him. They didn’t loosen even when he stilled, even when he carefully tried to breathe in and calm down. He wasn't entirely sure Ryū was even breathing– it seemed like his older brother had shut down the moment Ace had brought up his powers. _What’s going on? Why is he so upset?!_

Ace froze as he was dragged the tiniest bit closer. Fire flashed in his eyes and he bit a gasp down before it could do more than clog up his throat, nearly choking himself with the effort. Ryū’s hands burned where they branded themselves into his biceps. “I don’t have a devil fruit, Ace. It stopped working when I woke up here, remember?” He smiled, and it made Ace want to look away, to close his eyes. _It hurts, it hurts, why does he still smile like that? I hate it when Sabo smiles like that and he never will grow out of it because Ryū still does it and—_ “I don’t have a devil fruit, Ace.” 

(The denial tasted as bitter as it always did.) 

_Why do I have to have such a stubborn family?_ There was no real way to keep dodging the subject– Ace hadn't started this with that intention regardless of circumstance; Ryū kept trying to pretend things weren't as they were, and one day it was going to get them all hurt, or killed, or– _“Yes you do,”_ Ace snapped, and when he reached for Ryū’s hands his brother lurched away from him as if dodging a swipe. “We _saw_ you! In the fire— no human could do that, and what you taught Sabo can’t do that—“ 

Ryū’s grip tightened and Ace winced. He wasn't entirely sure if he was glad or annoyed that Ryū wasn't even aware enough to notice. The moment he started speaking again, though, Ace decided he was annoyed. _“I don’t have a devil fruit—“_

 _“Yes, you DO!”_ Ace shouted. Ryū started, eyes widening, but Ace continued to push. There was no longer any other option, not if Ryū insisted on doing this every time he couldn't accept reality.

Ace was done letting his brother keep lying, even to himself. 

“You were fire! We saw you! You— you stepped out of it and your legs weren’t— you didn’t—“ Ryū’s hands were solid. His vest was cool. Not a flicker of flame in sight, in touch. But Ace wouldn’t forget– he doubted he was able to. 

“You didn’t come from the fire,” he said, with a conviction that made Ryū’s heart pound, “You didn't just walk through, did you? You were— _are_ fire. You’re fire, like Luffy is rubber.” His expression was set in stone, barely a flicker of fear to be found. “You’re a _liar,_ Ryū-nii.” It wasn't new. It wasn't special. Sabo was always the one of them who could keep a straight face, an even tone. It seemed he never lost that trait. But he didn't get _lost_ in it, the way Ryū did. He didn't fall so far into his own webs that he couldn't get out. Whatever happened, in the future, it left Ryū a little more unhinged than his brother seemed to recognize. 

_Whatever happened,_ Ace vowed quietly, _I will never let it happen to Sabo. not this time._

He’d pry it out of Ryū one day, _and he’d never let it go._ No one was going to hurt his family again. 

* * *

Ryū snapped his mouth shut. After a moment, he slowly breathed in, and out, and Ace nearly stumbled into the dirt when the older man slowly released him, every finger lifting as if prying iron open. “Ace,” Ryū began, voice rough. No amount of swallowing was making his mouth any less dry. He wasn't even entirely sure what he was asking for, no what Ace could see on his face during his little breakdown. Ace wasn’t about to let him keep shoving all his emotions into whatever dark corner of his mind he could– wasn't okay with how Ryū kept hurting himself, ignoring himself– and Ryū decided he _hated_ it. 

Whatever Ace saw on his face, he didn’t even pause in stepping closer. Ryū was taller than him even kneeling, but he still awkwardly reached up until his older brother was forced to bend down to accommodate him, shoulders curled back as if waiting for a blow. When Ace only held him, carefully leaning against him, he all but melted. “It’s okay that you’re fire, shitty nii-Chan,” he blurted out. 

“You were all traumatized by fire,” Ryū bit out quietly. “I can’t risk it, Ace.”

Small arms tightened around his neck. “Then we’ll just get stronger until you can.” His fingers pressed into Ryū’s back, and there was no give. It was all stiff cloth and firm, unyielding muscles. No semi-solid warmth of fire, no starving heat. It was just Ryū, his older brother, who was here and real and alive to protect them. Who would never hurt them, even if he was hurting himself.

Ace refused to let go, even as his shoulders cramped from the awkward angle. “You’re our brother, too. They’ll never be scared if it’s you.” 

_I’ll never be scared if it’s you._

Ryū snorted humorlessly and Ace drew back, slamming a fist into Ryū’s shoulder hard enough that his knuckles stung. He couldn’t see the haki bleeding out from under his brother’s clothes but he didn't doubt for a second his hands would be bruised later. “Besides,” he said, and was only a _little_ vindicated by how Ryū blinked when he abruptly switched to glowering at him, “if you’re not giving your all in our spars then you’re not taking _us_ seriously either!” Ryū blinked and Ace huffed, trotting back towards the treehouse. “All that talk about me coddling Sabo... you’re even _worse,_ you shitty older brother.” 

Straightening, Ace pointed accusingly at Ryū with as much dramatics as possible. “So get it together jerk! We can’t be great pirates if you won’t even be serious when we’re on the Grand Line because you’re too worried about us being scared!” He huffed loudly and hid a self-satisfied grin when Ryū nodded sharply, seeming to shake himself out of his thoughts. 

“Yeah,” he said, and Ace turned away. His work was finished; Ryū’s words didn’t sound like they were for him anymore. “You’re... right.” 

_Of course I am._ _I’m your big brother, even if you’re taller than me now._

_You’re still just as stupid— a stupid, self-sacrificing, idiot little brother._

Ace grinned to himself, carefully climbing back up to the treehouse on limbs still only a little weak. 

_An’ once I get haki right, I’ll finally beat you. Then you’ll have to admit we’re all real. All of us, even you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So recently, this fic got fanart-- and I lost my shit the moment I saw/heard about it, and also boosted my hits despite that im an author who literally only started posting within the past 3 months! Which was very exciting! So if anyone hasn't seen it, here's the links: 
> 
> [Tumblr](https://marimoswords.tumblr.com/post/187543880874/this-is-funny-with-or-without-context-honestly)
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ghost_moss/status/1170135006330507264)
> 
> Please support the artist! I love him dearly and am also now indebted to him.
> 
> 12/7/19 - basic clarity edit, spacing
> 
> As always, you can find me over at my tumblr, [Leviathiane](https://leviathiane.tumblr.com/)


	9. Trauma by Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryu tries to stop lying, with a 20% success rate and some decent results. Sabo questions existence and fate– and also a haircut. Things are going to start speeding up soon, and none of them are sure if they're ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to my beta reader/editor [RedWritingHood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedWritingHood/pseuds/RedWritingHood) for her help ;)

The sand was wet under his boots. He sank a good inch with every step, cool through the leather in a way that made Ryū both relaxed and hyper-aware of the tiny waves lapping at his heels. “Alright,” he said, and immediately trailed off awkwardly. Was his coat always so heavy, his chest always so tight? Even just damp with morning dew and salt spray, Ryū felt more than bogged down. The boys shifted nervously in front of him. “Well… I guess you know why we’re here today?” 

They stared at him blankly. Ryū felt sweat prickle at his forehead. Ace rolled his eyes at him and for a brief moment, Ryū wanted to just shake his brother furiously for being utterly unhelpful. 

“I have a devil fruit,” he eventually just blurted out, and sighed inwardly at the boys’ absolute lack of reaction to the statement. Luffy was already picking his nose, bouncing in place. 

“Duh,” he said, and Ryū needed a _nap_. “It doesn’t work though, so what ‘bout it?” 

_There really is no way to skirt the issue, is there?_ Ace looked ready to maul him. He wasn’t sure how his little brother even knew he was considering it; he was completely sure his expression hadn’t even twitched. “About that...“ 

“...Ryū-nii…” 

“I have a real reason, Sabo, put that eyebrow away.” Sabo did not put the eyebrow away. He raised it even higher. Ryū was trapped between being proud of his brother’s affinity for hard-hitting sass or cuffing them for attitude. 

“No he doesn’t,” Ace piped up, “he just thinks he does, ‘cause he’s stupid.” 

“...Ace, please, my poor feelings...” Ryū yelped dramatically as a tiny foot lodged itself determinedly into his leg. Ace only managed to look more offended at his reaction, which didn’t bode well for his calves. “Ok, so maybe it wasn’t well thought out, but I really do have a real reason,” Ryū defended. He shot a look at Ace but the boy didn’t argue this time, instead just crossing his arms with a begrudging huff. He took that as a sign to go on. 

Regardless, he didn’t drop his guard. The boys were too engrossed in watching his hands as if waiting for something to spring out of them to notice him watching them just as intensely. 

_The first sign of discomfort, and it’s over. I don’t care if it makes Ace mad, I won’t risk it. It’s still too soon._

“I ate the Mera-Mera, Ryū began, and very carefully did not demonstrate. The mere mention of the fruit made him all too aware of how his blood boiled under his skin, how heat radiated from his core to every tip of his body. Like a star brimming to explode, constantly roiling right under his skin. Luffy narrowed his eyes, leaning in and eyes darting as if trying to catch a flicker of his power. 

“It turned me into fire,” he tacked on, as if an afterthought, and bit down on a wince when Sabo visibly twitched. 

“Like how I’m rubber,” Luffy said, and it wasn’t a question. Their youngest was scrutinizing him closely, still. When nothing happened, he rocked back on his heels and sat down in the sand, frowning. “Why’d ya hide it? Is it bad?” He asked confusedly. “Is it ‘cause Sabo doesn’ like fire now?” Sabo stilled, darting a look between his youngest and oldest brother. Completely oblivious, Luffy clenched the brim of his hat, shadowing his face from Ryū. “Or do… does Ryū not like fire either, because Sabo never likes fire, and– and–” He cut himself off when Ace knocked a hand into his back hard enough to topple him into the sand, tension lost as he spit out salt and gravel. 

“That ain’t it, Lu,” Ace said, and only halfway managed to hide his flinch when Sabo turned on him, expression wiped blank. 

“You knew.” It wasn't a question. Ace refused to back down, but still nervously cast a look back at Ryū. Sabo stepped closer. “How long have you known.” 

“Uh,” Ace blanched. 

Sabo took another step forward, and Ryū quickly realized he needed to get this over with before Ace lost something important, like his dignity. Or an eye. “Not long,” He admitted, just loud enough to catch all three boys’ attention back to him. “He wanted me to tell you myself, Sabo, not lie to you with me.” Sabo’s expression chilled and Ryū internally winced. “...Not that I wanted to lie either,” He amended uselessly. 

“Okay,” Sabo said casually, eyeing him with a look distinctly disbelieving, and Ryū, not for the first time, wished Koala was there. _I am terrible at this. If I wake up I’m going to make her promise not to let me ever do something like become a dad._

Not that he was entirely sure that was a possibility anymore. Dreams always felt longer than they were, but he was starting to wonder if something was wrong. He had never been able to sleep so long for so much to happen without someone barging into his room with papers to organize or information to gather. Hell, he had never had a dream where he fell asleep— much less one where he woke up again, while still in the dream. 

_At least a coma would mean Koala might take mercy on me._

He paused, reconsidered. 

_No, she wouldn’t._

Ryū shook out of his thoughts when someone tugged on his coat, looking down to find Luffy staring with a worried crease to his brow. _How long have I just been standing here?_ Ace and Sabo both looked ready to either force him to sit down or smack him. “R-right, I was— uh—“ they inched closer. Ryū was starting to wonder whether he was facing attempted murder or therapy. “—the fruit! My powers,” he got out, hoping impossibly that the boys didn’t pick up his change in mood, “I just— it’s been a couple months now, since we’ve all been home,” he said instead. Ace shot him a look clearly saying _“this isn’t over,”_ but when Ryū quickly sat down, trying to hide his shaking hands in his lap, both he and Sabo begrudgingly stepped back and sat as well. Luffy remained firmly attached to Ryū’s coat. He didn’t even blink when their youngest simply sat next to him, visibly still sulking. 

Ryū took a moment to breathe in and out once, twice. It wasn’t enough. “You only just came home,” He explained quietly. “And right before that, you had a traumatic experience– with fire.” Sabo fidgetted, expression slipping into something uncomfortable. Ryū hoped he wouldn't fight him on this. He knew better than to do more than hope. “Do you understand why I didn’t want to see my powers in front of you, before you’re ready?” 

And Sabo wasn't ready. Ryū knew very well how much he wasn't ready. 

But Sabo didn't, yet. 

“It’s not fair,” Sabo bit out. His fingers dug into the sand. “I– I shouldn’t be what is stopping you!” Despite his clear anger, Ryū could easily recognize the tension lining his frame for the fear and shame it really was. He had seen it too many times in his own posture to miss it. 

“It’s not only you,” Ryū admitted reassuringly. It didn't make Sabo any more relaxed, but he at least met his eyes still. Ryū glanced over his boys, hand absentmindedly landing on Luffy’s back without even thinking and the other twitching towards where Ace sat, eyes pointedly turned away from him and posture defensive. “None of you have had great luck with fire. Grey terminal likely gave you more than some burns,” His eyes caught on the quick flash of uncertainty that clouded Ace’s eyes. Luffy curled in tight under his hand and pressed the barest hair closer. 

Still, Sabo didn't relax. His eyes remained clouded, his body remained tense. 

He froze up, hands instinctively raising when Ryū gently tugged on his coat, but he immediately lowered them the moment he made eye contact with Ryū. He stumbled over Ryū’s legs, his own too cold and stuff to do much more than be guided by Ryū. A hand smoothed over the short locks his fuzz had grown into. “You’re not weak,” Ryū murmured. “Don’t mistake trauma for weakness. You are anything but.” Sabo squirmed But Ryū held him fast. Piercing blue eyes told him to stay put. “Do you understand?” 

Sabo nodded jerkily. 

When Ryū let him go, it was Ace who caught him; his hands uncharacteristically careful. Slowly, they eased him back onto the sand. Sabo buried his hands before either could see them shaking. He knew by how Ace looked at him that it was pointless. 

“It’s true I’ve been lying, and it’s true I won’t always be able to afford not to use my powers,” Ryū started. “But anything we do regarding them has to be _slow._ Do you hear me?” He shot a look at Ace. “That means no more trying to surprise maul me, Ace. It won’t do a thing but turn me into flames, and that’s not something any of you are likely ready for.” 

Luffy’s muttered “I’m ready for anything” went largely ignored. 

“Can we at least start?” Sabo asked. His voice was quiet, eyes downcast. Ryū knew it was too much to expect him to bounce back from the new insecurities he was amassing, but seeing it in action always managed to make him wish mental health– or the lack thereof– was a physical entity he could burn to death. 

Even Luffy looked a little uncertain about facing fire right then and there. “Maybe just a flame.” Ace looked up at Ryū for confirmation, relaxing when Ryū shrugged. “Jus’ a small one,” he murmured, half to himself.

Ryū looked them all over critically. _I have no idea what I’m doing. I only know it won't go well. Do I look like a doctor? I am the farthest thing from a doctor!_

Sabo breathed in deeply, hands carefully loosening out of their fists. He finally met Ryū’s eyes. Pale, unable to hide the minuscule tremble of his hands. Yet he met him stare for stare. Ryū knew steely determination when he saw it– knew there was no chance of any of them backing out by that point. Squandering their time now could cripple them later and they all knew it. 

_Sabo is nearly healed. We have enough saved up from what we sold in High Town to get us some better supplies on a different island now, one that doesn't recognize us. We have to leave soon, or we will lose our chances– either to the nobles, or marines, or Garp himself. It’s already been too many months to risk any more._

Ryū couldn't hope to fool himself. 

_I am the closest thing they have to a responsible adult, not to mention a doctor._

_For a lucid dream, I haven't been able to do anything other than what I can naturally– this is all I can do. This is all I can give them._

_Is it enough?_

Heat rose in his throat. It bubbled from deep in his chest, in his stomach, roiling just under his skin. (Ace woke up inside him, flickering white-hot.) 

_It will have to be enough._

The boys all leaned in, eyes zeroing in on Ryū’s hand as he raised it slowly. Ace and Luffy both attentively stared it down, tensely anticipating Ryū to combust– but Ryū wasn't about to just throw them into their traumas headfirst. Instead, he just heated his hand, carefully keeping any visible flames below the surface. The boys’ eyes widened when the seawater still dampening his gloves began to steam. Even with just that, Sabo unconsciously leaned away. When no physical fire appeared, however, he slowly leaned back in and joined his brothers in frowning at Ryū’s hand. 

“What are you doing? I thought you were gonna show us your power,” Sabo asked quietly. 

He flinched violently when Luffy reached out to poke at Ryū’s palm only to immediately yank it back. Ace scrambled over and grabbed his hand, carefully turning it over only to look up in confusion when he couldn't find a burn. “It’s hot,” Luffy whined, but there were stars in his eyes. Ryū quickly stilled when his littlest brother leaped back to his feet, scampering close again in order to grab his hand. Both Ace and Sabo froze midstep, eyes huge.

Luffy spun around, hands still clasped around Ryū’s, and gave them a beaming smile. “It’s _tingly!!!_ Com’ere!!” 

Ryū carefully let out a quiet sigh, smiling in relief as tiny rubbery fingers poked and prodded at his superheated hands without being burnt. He had far better control than to ever burn his brothers, but he couldn't help the anxiety that had strangled him regardless. 

Ace hesitantly inched forward, hand hovering just above Ryū’s. “It’s warm,” he whispered, as if surprised. He eyed Luffy, who was now happily clambering up into Ryū’s lap in order to reach his shoulders, waving at the steam rising off his clothing. His expression steeled. Ryū had to fight back a laugh when Ace just violently slapped his hand into Ryū’s, eyes squeezed shut tightly. When nothing happened, he peeked open one eye and gently grabbed it, leaning back as far as possible as if he was holding a hornet instead of his brother’s hand. Ryū just calmly watched him rotate his hand over and back, squeezing tighter when he still saw no flickers of flame. 

_Cute._

“Having fun?” Ace jumped, flushing all the way down his shirt. Ryū snickered when he jerked away, hissing insults under his breath. “What, too good to hold your brother’s hand?” He teased. In the corner of his eye, Sabo’s shoulders finally fell an inch. “How heartless, Ace.” 

Whatever Ace might have said was instantly bitten off the moment Sabo edged closer. slow but unfaltering, he only hesitated a moment, eyes flickering over his unharmed brothers before he reached out for Ryū’s hand. Ryū held perfectly, _absolutely_ still. He would not risk a twitch, a breath, if it meant losing Sabo’s courage right then and there. 

_I won't move for hours if this works. For as long as he needs me to._

Sabo’s hand carefully tapped his. 

For a brief moment, Ryū saw resignation cross his face. Anticipating a burn he knew Ryū would not give him. 

Ryū carefully swallowed every flame that crawled up his throat, hissing and hideous. 

“...It’s warm,” Sabo eventually said, and when Ace and Luffy both grinned at him Ryū tried his best to slap something resembling a smile onto his face. Sabo didn't even notice. He blinked with eyes wide, his second hand joining the first to slide up Ryū’s palm and even pull back his glove, looking for any sign of fire. “It’s warm,” He repeated, quieter, and then, “It feels nice.” 

The relief that visibly swept the boys over nearly knocked them off their feet. Sabo’s posture finally relaxed, his expression loosened. He gripped Ryū’s hand in a mirror of Ace’s and Ryū gently squeezed, smiling when his doppelgänger squeezed back after a pause. “Glad you like it,” Ryū said, and he didn't even bother to mask how absolutely gooey he was certain his face was. He had no idea what he was doing. He wasn’t a doctor. He wasn't a therapist or a parent. But he was successful. 

_Small steps, he reminded himself. Tiny, microscopic. Atomic, if I have to._

Three tiny hands layered over his, giggling when he carefully pulsed heat through his palm. Sabo didn't even flinch. 

_I will do anything, if it means I can give you this, here._

* * *

It had been a little hard, shaking them all out of the mood they had inexplicably fallen into. Ryū wasn't even sure he wanted to– no one was hurt, bleeding or otherwise– a little quiet was okay, once in a while. 

That wasn’t in Luffy’s nature, of course. He should have known better the moment their youngest got inevitably distracted by something shiny. Or strong. Or dangerous looking. 

Luffy squirmed, whining loudly when Ryū snatched him off his heels by the back of his shirt. “Don’t give me that look,” Ryū said, visibly offended. He gestured accusingly at the ocean as if personally insulted by the little wave that lapped at his toes. “You _know_ you can’t swim, Lu!” 

“I saw a cool shell!” 

“Oh yeah? What’s cooler, then, a shell, or the prospect of _drowning?”_

“Wha’ ‘sa po—pross—“ 

_“Prospect,”_ Ryū corrected automatically, only to sigh dramatically as Luffy proceeded to completely ignore him in favor of a seagull overhead. “Lu...” Ryū said, smiling despite his exhaustion at his squirming little brother. He plopped their youngest down into Sabo’s reach, allowing the blond to latch onto Luffy with an equally exasperated but fond look on his face. 

“Wait,” Ace said, with a dawning expression that made Ryū instinctively expect the worst, “you ate a devil fruit too— so you can’t swim either right?” 

Ryū paused, boots still wet with the surf, and give his brother a critical look. “...yes,” he answered slowly. “Why?” 

Ace launched himself at Ryū, and Ryū honest to god could not be bothered to react more than to sigh loudly. Which was a terrible move, because half a second later he was drowning in water four inches high and _absolutely_ waterlogged. 

Shoving past the nausea and weakness, Ryū wobbly sat up. His _everything_ was _wet_. _Beyond wet._ He couldn’t see past how wet he was— literally, considering his hair alone had just poured a waterfall of seawater down his front. He stared vaguely at where Ace stood. “Ace.”

“Yeah?”

The _audacity_. 

_“Why.”_

Luffy was giggling and if Ryū was a less patient man he would dunk his sibling himself. 

“Sabo, Ace dunked Ryū-nii!” A sporadic burst of giggles followed the statement. He could hear Sabo laughing between Luffy’s pauses for air. 

Ryū was not as patient a man as he thought. 

“Look at that, you nearly drowned.” It was said so casually. There was no anger, or even laughter, from Ace. Nothing that could clue Ryū into the mood Ace keeps falling into with him. It was more a blank statement than anything else, pointedly matter of fact— and for the life of him, Ryū didn’t know what for. Ace just kept staring him down as if looking for something. Frozen, waiting for a reaction Ryū didn't understand. 

The exchange was cut off as Luffy bounded over to them, forcing Ryū to stand up and stumble out of the waves before his tiniest brother could trip headfirst into them and give him a conniption. Thankfully, he hadn’t been wearing his coat, but his boots were basically an aquarium and his vest desperately needed to be wrung out. Every step sloshed and squeaked loudly. Water was dripping off him without any sign of stopping. Frankly, Ryū was ready to just call this his new life. One constantly half-drowned. _What’s new? Koala would find it funny– anything at my expense is funny to her._

“Woah,” Luffy said, shoving his hands into Ryū’s hair when he leaned down to remove his boots, “it’s so long now!” Small fingers tugged at the waterlogged curtain Ryū currently had draped on his face. Immediately, Luffy sagged and dropped into the sand and Ryū just gestured at him, turned towards where he could feel Ace standing with a look he hoped was adequately accusatory through his extremely soggy appearance. All he got was a loud snort for his efforts. Luffy giggled sleepily from where he had splayed in the sand. 

“It’s been a few months,” Sabo commented innocently, “maybe we should try cutting our hair?” Frowning, he paused. “Actually, I don’t think we have any scissors in the treehouse.” 

Ace scoffed, finally giving up his unrelenting stare at Ryū to instead turn and point back into the undergrowth. “The bandits just used a dull knife on mine.” 

“Makino cut mine,” Luffy mumbled into the sand. “Back ‘n Foosha.”

Shrugging off his vest, Ryū shook his hair out of his face uselessly. It just flopped right back into place, sticking uncomfortably to his cheeks and forehead. “Makino will have a pair we can borrow,” he grumbled. “We can visit her once I dry off.” Ace didn’t even look apologetic, the brat. 

_Makino wouldn’t recognize me, would she? She’s closer to Luffy than I was... does it really matter at this point?_

The boys were starting to look a little shaggy. 

Ryū paused. Looked again. 

The boys were starting to look a little shaggier. 

_...We’ll go see her later today._

“Are you sure I should bother?” Ryū looked down at his doppelgänger, confused. Sabo shifted hesitantly under his gaze and self consciously brushed a hand through his hair. “I mean… if you’re me, should I just grow it out too? It’ll happen eventually anyway, wouldn’t it?” 

Ryū cocked his head. “Would it?” He repeated, and for all that he was casual, he really _wasn't_ sure anymore. Were things like long hair or clothing choices inevitable anymore? Everything had changed here, why wouldn't Sabo as well? _This has been a very straight-forward dream,_ he supposed, _Everything that has happened so far has made an almost alarming amount of sense. I wouldn't be surprised anymore, if this would too– it may as well happen._ “It’s true that we’re _biologically_ identical, but could you really say we’re the same anymore?” They were the same person, in the past. When Ryū was who Sabo was– before Ryū grew up, before everything was changed from reality. 

_Even in the real world, I think I would be hard-pressed to call us the “same” anymore. We haven't really been the same person since I started dreaming._ “Our experiences have been entirely different. Who am I to say you should grow out your hair? Do whatever you want.” 

Sabo just nodded, hands absentmindedly buried in his hair. “Yeah… Yeah, okay.” 

Ace kicked at the sand, a conflicted look on his face. “Who cares?” He asked, too perfectly casual to be sincere, “It’s just hair.”

“Hair is annoying,” Luffy moaned, draping himself over Ryū’s back. He got a faceful of wet hair for his dramatics. Sputtering, he reared back and declared: “ _Long_ hair is terrible!” loud enough for Sabo and Ace to snicker in Ryū’s direction. They only laughed harder when their eldest brother just muttered _“hey,”_ offensively. Luffy stretched up to pat at Ryū’s cheek, grimacing as the seawater still dripping down his face made his palm wet but refusing to pull away. “Your hair is cool though, Ryū-nii,” he reassured.

“Thanks, Lu. Means a lot.” 

Luffy beamed, completely ignorant of how Ryū sighed and his brothers sniggered behind their hands. “Yer welcome!” He crowed. Sufficiently convinced he hadn't hurt his brother’s feelings, he bounded back into the shore with a whoop, spraying sand everywhere possible. 

_“Luffy!”_ Ace and Sabo sputtered, struggling to spit out grit. 

Ryū just laughed at them. They deserved it. 

* * *

“Hey Makino!” 

Makino looked up, nearly dropping her rag in surprise as a familiar little boy swung open the door to her bar, waving frantically at her. “Oh–! Luffy?” She just watched, blinking and confused, as the child practically launched himself at her. He was yelling in excitement as he wrapped himself firmly around her legs in a hug. She knelt, forcing Luffy to let go and instead cling to her skirts, instinctively running her hand through his hair. Despite no obvious cuts or bruises on him, she unable to relax just yet. A happy child was still a child she hadn't seen in _months_ with no warning or explanation. “Luffy, what’s wrong? I haven’t seen you for your brothers in months–” 

“Lu! Don’t run ahead like that!” 

Makino looked up and relaxed slightly the moment Sabo walked through the door still swinging off its hinges. “Good morning, Makino-san.” He waved at Makino in a quiet mirror of Luffy’s hello and this time Makino managed to smile and wave back. 

“Hello boys,” She finally greeted warmly. “I haven't seen you two in a while, now– finally decided you wanted more manners lessons?” Luffy groaned loudly into her skirts and she chuckled fondly before pausing. “Where is Ace? I’m surprised he let you two come down from Mt. Colubo without him!” She frowned from both boys just snickered, exchanging a look she couldn't decipher before they both glanced back towards the door. 

“Ace got the short stick,” He declared cryptically. 

Makino turned to Sabo, hoping for an actual explanation. The boy looked beyond amused. “He’s busy try’na get Ryū to come in,” He said, and despite the extra information Makino was still completely lost. She looked between the boys with both eyebrows high and neither did anything more than snigger behind their hands. 

“Who,” She eventually began, only to get cut off by a muffled shout outside. If Luffy and Sabo hadn't immediately exploded into giggles, she might have been alarmed– but she could clearly recognize the voice as Ace’s, voice filtering through the door. The boys burst out laughing as their third wayward sibling kicked the door back open, slamming it into the wall with force Makino really should have done more than just stare at. Ace barely looked up before freezing at the sight of her. Without a word from her, he bowed at the waist, grumbling an embarrassed “Sorry about the door, Makino-san” before stomping further into the bar. He was visibly straining, dragging something heavy behind him, and Makino hoped it wasn't another large boar or crocodile Luffy decided to gift her like a cat giving her dead mice–

Ace grit his teeth hard enough to audibly crack his jaw and exclaimed, loudly, _“Goddammit,”_ before forcefully yanking hard enough to force it– _he,_ Makino realized with a start, catching a wide blue eye and unruly blond curls buried under a tophat– to stumble into the bar awkwardly. 

“Oh,” She managed. 

Immediately, the stranger– _is this “Ryū"?_ – flushed, pulling away from Ace to tidy himself up. After a moment to regain his composure, Ryū tipped her his tophat with a neat flourish that had her chuckling. “Hello,” He said, embarrassment all but hidden under polite mannerisms and fabric; but Makino could still see the tips of his ears were flushed red where they poked out from his curls. “My name is Ryū. I’m the boys’ oldest brother, and now in charge,” He paused to nonchalantly nudge Ace away from where the raven-haired aimed to kick him in the ankle, “of keeping my idiots safe.” He held out a hand, smiling charmingly, and Makino took it with a grin. “Nice to meet you.” 

Mischievousness sparked in her chest, warm and playful, and Makino knew Ace caught it when he stiffened under her gaze. “It’s good to see the boys now have someone else to teach them manners,” She teased. Luffy whined loudly, pouting at Sabo when the boy just laughed outright at his brothers. 

“This idiot?” Ace scoffed, still trying (half-heartedly, she noticed fondly,) to kick Ryū. “No way.”

“Maybe he can teach them manners,” Sabo chirped, innocently pretending not to hear Ace’s betrayed hiss, “But he can’t cut hair, apparently.” Makino turned in time to catch Ryū’s brow twitch. The boys pointedly ignored his quiet grumble of _“It’s not that easy”_ to turn equally pleading eyes to Makino. 

Luffy bounced in place, tugging on her skirt to get her attention and she nearly cooed at him staring up at her with his huge brown eyes and tousled black hair. _“Please,”_ He asked politely, and she was struck with the sudden need to sit down. “Sabo said if it gets any longer it’ll blind me!” the little boy looked distraught by the thought. Said brother was barely hiding his laughter from the youngest. Makino could barely contain it herself. _“I don't wanna lose my eyes,”_ He whispered, as if it was a terrible secret. 

She smiled reassuringly. _I’ve missed these three more than I thought._ “Of course, Lu, we wouldn't want that,” She said affectionately. “Come sit up on one of the stools and I’ll get my scissors.” She gently pat his hat for him, winking conspiratorially. “I bet if you asked really nicely, Ryū might even hold onto your hat for you while I work.” 

* * *

Sabo frowned at his reflection, gingerly touching his head as if confused by the hair under his hands. 

“What’s wrong?” Makino glanced her work over but couldn’t find any patches she had missed or overcut. She wasn’t at all a hairdresser, but she was fairly confident with a pair of scissors in hand. “Do you not like it?” 

Sabo quickly snatched his hand away. His eyes darting to the floor, and Makino giggled despite herself. He didn’t seem to have realized his own reaction. “N-no! It’s good...” Regardless of what he said, Makino could see his hands tightening over his shorts as if preventing them from moving back to his head. All of his brothers stared and Sabo shifted uncomfortably. “There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just... I can’t help but feel like something is missing—“ he looked up, brows furrowed, and shot an uncertain look at his eldest brother “—I just. Guess I know now that it wasn’t hair?” Ace crossed his arms, huffing, and Sabo flushed darkly. “Don’t give me that look! It’s not as if I could remember if I’m missing something, and none of you have said anything!” 

Luffy bobbed in place, popping off the barstool he was sitting on to hold up his hat to Sabo. Sabo hesitantly took it, holding it in his lap awkwardly. “That’s ‘cause Sabo doesn’t have his hat anymore,” he said matter of factually. Sabo raised an eyebrow at his little brother but indulgently plopped the straw hat on his head when Luffy pouted at him. 

Ace tilted his head, frowning in contemplation where he remained cross-legged next to Ryū. “Yeah, actually,” he said, sounding calmly surprised. “You probably lost it in the wreck... we didn’t see it at Luffy’s dad’s ship?” He shot a questioning look up at Ryū, who just shrugged. “I guess there wasn’t anything left of it,” he finished helplessly. Sabo just continued to frown. His fingers rubbed the fraying brim of the straw hat with a conflicted expression. 

“Well,” he started eventually, handing Luffy his hat back despite the younger’s protests, “I guess it doesn’t matter, right? It’s not as if I remember ever owning a hat.” Ryū closed his eyes, nodding once before grinning mischievously. Sabo wasn’t able to react faster than to blink when his older brother hopped off his stool, right in front of Sabo with a single stroll. “Ryū-nii—?”

“What do you mean?” Ryū said, with all the innocence of a wolf in a farmer’s field, “I see a hat right here.” In an instant, Sabo was blinded— something soft and black pushed down onto his head. 

“Wha-hey!” 

It was too big, the brim sagging into his eyes, and he had to lean back away from Ryū’s hands in order to prop it up. Ryū smiled brightly at him and Sabo practically sweltered with embarrassment. “I can’t take this,” he protested, “it’s yours! It doesn’t even fit me—“ 

Ace glanced him over pointedly, the same teasing delight sparkling in his eyes, and Sabo felt his cheeks somehow heat more as he casually commented, “neither did your first hat” without missing a beat. Luffy had the audacity to snicker at him, the _gremlin—_

“You can’t prove a thing,” Ryū sang, already prancing out of sabo’s reach. “How will we know if it’s yours or not? You have amnesia, after all, maybe you just don’t remember it’s yours!”

“That— my— My amnesia doesn’t _work_ like that! What the hell!” 

Despite his sputtering, Sabo’s hands were tight around the tophat’s brim. He made no move to pull it off. 

Luffy frowned up at Ryū, turning his ire to his oldest brother. “Now Ryū-nii lost his hat,” he said accusatorially. Sabo watched his doppelgänger for any hint of discomfort or irritation, but Ryū just shrugged noncommittally. 

“It’s time I had a change, don’t you think?” He shook his head out and sputtered as his hair, now down to his shoulders, smacked him in the face. “Now that I have so much hair, having a hat was becoming slightly annoying,” he admitted. 

He went carefully still when Makino stepped up to him, balancing on her tip-toes in order to brush his curls back. “It _is_ rather long,” she commented. She smiled gratefully when Luffy tugged at Ryū’s sleeve until he sat back down, allowing her to better reach. It wasn’t too thick, but the way it fell into his eyes was definitely going to be a problem if it wasn't already– and judging by how the boys lived, she had no doubts it was. “If you _really_ don’t want me to cut it for you, I could just lend you a hair tie?” Ryū was already shaking his head, hands raised, but Makino huffed and tugged gently on one of his curls to quiet him. “Listen here, I have plenty to spare, and the experience to tell you that long hair is annoying enough when you don’t live in a forest fighting large animals and raising three boys!” She paused, turning to smile at Luffy and Ace when both boys immediately protested that they were strong and raising themselves, giving Ryū time to think. 

Sabo finally let go of the hat and trotted over to Ryū’s side, climbing up into his lap to critically eye his older brothers mop of blond curls himself. “It may be a good idea,” he said carefully. “If you don’t keep it back somehow, it’s gonna get in the way when we spar, wouldn’t it?” Makino beamed at him and he ducked away from her gaze, ears pink. 

Ryū hummed quietly. He twirled a lock around his fingers for a few long seconds before eventually sighing in surrender. Immediately, Makino snapped to attention. “Great!” She said cheerfully, already pulling multiple bands out of her apron and pockets. “Then I’ll give these to you, Luffy, since you’re a _big strong man_ who will keep an eye on your older brother—“ Luffy cheered, thrusting a fist in the air, and Ace immediately started arguing until he got a handful of bands to shove into his pockets as well, holding some out for Sabo to split with him. Sabo pocketed Ace’s without even looking up. 

Ryū felt distinctly like he was being ganged up on without anyone even saying a thing. Makino didn't even try to pretend she wasn't watching them with amusement. 

Still, he indulgently leaned down for Makino to gently pull his hair back, looping her tie around it firmly until he could feel the neat little ponytail brushing against the base of his neck. He didn’t even have to ask her to leave his bangs alone, thankfully; after a single aborted motion to cover his scarred eye, she had let them be without saying a word. Cool air chilled his neck nicely. It was suddenly much cooler, without the weight of all of his hair resting against his neck. 

Ryū shook his head out. The new ponytail bounced and tickled, but didn’t slap him in the face or get in his eyes. His free bangs still brushed his jawline. It was becoming easier, peering through the breaks in the locks over his scar. 

“Not bad,” he finally conceded, and only pouted a little when all three of his boys including Makino cheered. 

Still, the meaning wasn't lost on him. Even with the boys distracted by the hair scattered all over the floor, and Luffy’s disastrous attempts to help Makino sweep, it wasn't lost on him. 

_We’ve been here long enough. It’s time to leave._  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was late since I had exams all week plus the end of summer harvest haha... Chapter 10's draft is now done, I finished it just last night, luckily– but it was long as hell and ive barely touched 11, so ill probably take an extra week for that one as well. 
> 
> thanks for all the patience! I know its hard as a reader to watch a story you're following go from updating regularly to going off schedule, so I appreciate the comments and kudos I get in the downtime. It really helps keep my encouragement up!
> 
> 12/7/19 - clarity edit, spacing
> 
> As always, you can find me over at my tumblr, [Leviathiane](https://leviathiane.tumblr.com/)


	10. Goodbye and Good Riddance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally time to leave Dawn Island, for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [Redwritinghood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedWritingHood/pseuds/RedWritingHood), as always!

Sabo’s stance was firm, his eyes unwavering. “Do it,” He ordered. 

Ryū hesitated and Sabo took another step forward. He was as unyielding as steel; He would not blink, not move, not even tense. He could not risk it. He knew even without looking into Ryū’s eye, that his older brother would stop them the moment he showed even an instant of hesitation or uncertainty. If he faltered, all their progress would be reset. 

_I won't fail. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t give up, or give in. Never again._

“Do it, Ryū-nii. I can take it.” 

His older brother eyed him critically. After what felt like hours of silence, Ryū finally nodded, just once. 

Heat sweltered between them, slowly and steadily building until Sabo’s cheeks stung with it. He did not flinch, did not show fear. Ryū’s eye burned behind the flames. Even with the firelight flickering against the white, the blue of his eldest brother’s eye was still a backdrop just as violently _alive._ A constant, attentive reminder that Sabo was not– not _there,_ in the waves, in the _flames–_ no heat from his brother’s palms could ever be oppressive the way _those_ were. He had to believe that. 

_If I ever want to be able to leave Dawn Island I have to be able to do this. It’s just Ryū._

The fire curled and danced off Ryū’s fingertips. Mocking him, laughing with every pulse of heat and light. 

_It’s just Ryū._

His offered palm was white-hot like coals in a fire pit, like a weapon in a forgery. Sabo wondered if that was what a star looked like. It could burn him. it could kill him. It could reduce him to a handful of ashes and charred bones and the sickening smell of cooking flesh. 

Healed in all purposes but one– the scars still pulled. Still ached, still pulsed as if the heat had seeped below his skin and slept in his flesh. Sometimes he swore he was burning all over again. Sabo knew better than anyone how fire burns. He knew, he _knew–_ how could he not?

But he also knew Ryū better than anyone… because _how could he not?_ That’s _himself_ , kneeling before him. His supernova of an old inevitability, hiding every little fear and flicker under a mask of affectionate harmlessness. That’s his brother, who loves him, and Ace, and Luffy all as unconditionally as if they had all been born in each other’s arms– as if bound by more than bonds, or even blood. Who tells them all he wants is for them to be safe and happy. Who pretends he’s okay even to _Ace,_ who refuses to really see them, who loves them even though he doesn’t even think they're _real._ His brother, who is stupid, and smiles at them, and laughs when Ace tries to fight him, and _loves_ them, and Sabo _wasn’t able to believe anything otherwise anymore–_

_His brother, who is fire._

Sabo took Ryū’s hand. 

Fire licked at his palm and fingers. Sabo stared it down, forcing himself to watch as the flames brushed up against his skin only to leave nothing behind. His hand was unharmed, unmarred. The dissociation between phantom pain and reality left him frozen– left him teetering on the familiar edge of dread and anticipation– but he hadn’t fallen just yet. Frozen on an impasse, he swallowed his stuttering heart down in his throat. Ryū’s fingers were semi-solid. If Sabo could just focus enough to move, to touch, he knew they would shift, would dance around his fingers without doing more than warming his skin. He _knew_ that. 

Those fingers slowly inched closed, slowly wrapped around his, and he _did not flinch._

Ryū was practically a shadow in the backdrop of their hands by the time Sabo finally managed to tear his eyes away. “Doin’ alright?” He asked quietly. Any softer, and Sabo was sure he would lose the words under the crackle of flames. 

_I’m not losing anything,_ he scolded himself. _All of this is Ryū. Even the fire. It’s all him._

His brother’s smile, the white of his eye and the arch of his cheekbones were all outlined in gold and red. The firelight made him seem to glow at the edges. _Fuzzy,_ Sabo thought distantly, _distorted at the edges. If I didn’t already know about devil fruits I could believe he’s a ghost._

Sometimes, Sabo could hardly believe the man was real. (That didn’t make it any less infuriating when Ace had told him that Ryū didn’t entirely believe that he was real either.)

Painstakingly slow, Sabo reached for Ryū’s other hand. His brother extended it without hesitation and never asked a question, never broke the silence as Sabo carefully held. Neither of them dared to say a single word. As if breaking the silence now would mean losing track, losing focus– and never getting it back. Ryū could only wait, eye sharp and unblinkingly vigilant as Sabo leveled both his hands in between them– one engulfed in flame and the other bare. 

They were equally warm to the touch. Equally familiar. The same leather gloves, the same long fingers and rough calloused palms. 

Sabo breathed in deeply. _It’s just Ryū. He would never hurt me._

Ryū carefully stilled when Sabo pulled his still burning hand to rest delicately over his scarred eye. The move to extinguish the flame was immediate and instinctive, like a yank to his gut– but stopped before he could. His heart, however, raced uncontrollably with frenzied anxiety. Hiding how his fingers twitched in an aborted jerk away was nigh impossible– he was only lucky that Sabo was too unfocused to even register the tiny movement. The child was entirely transfixed on his hand, as if it held an answer. (Ryu hoped he found one. He hoped there was an answer at all, one he just hadn't been able to see until ~~(Ace)~~ the mera-mera had settled below his ribs.)

“It tickles,” Sabo murmured, eyes slipping shut. This way, he was no longer blinded by the fire. The flames were almost cool, brushing his scar like licks of summer air rather than the deadly blaze that had threatened him before. It was so much easier to dissociate from his _accident,_ like this. 

Ryū sighed shakily above him. 

He let go when the other shifted, eyes remaining closed even as his brother gently caught him in a hug so light and delicate that Sabo knew nothing more than a twitch would make him let go. Always so painstakingly careful. So diligent, so aware of every little movement. Any other time, Sabo would be furious. 

_He’s so warm._ “Thank you,” he whispered, and knew without looking that Ryū heard him even muffled into the older’s shoulder. 

_I feel happy,_ he didn’t say. _I feel safe,_ he didn’t say. 

“You’re welcome, kiddo,” Ryū said, with all the affection of someone who perfectly heard it all anyway. “Whenever you need it.” The flames all went out and all of the tension drained out of Sabo’s body. He didn't pull back right away, content to stay exactly where he was. _I may be a bit out of it._ The thought felt like it was echoing from underwater. ... _Just a bit._ A gloved hand pressed into the back of his head, the other still gently run around his back, and he fully relaxed into it without hesitation. 

“So he passed?” Ace’s voice was distant and quiet, passing from somewhere over Sabo’s head. He couldn't remember whether his brother had been silent the entire time, or if he had just missed an entire conversation. He didn't currently have the energy to care. 

Ryū’s chest vibrated against his cheek when he spoke. He barely registered moving, Ryū’s arm shifting under his legs in one smooth movement as he stood with Sabo still in his arms. “With flying colors,” he promised, voice warm with something more than fire, and if Sabo had an ounce more focus in him he would have been embarrassed from the sheer amount of pride directed at him. 

Distinctly rubber hands brushed past his hair and Sabo vaguely knew by how Ryū jerked that his little brother had jumped up onto him. “Does‘at mean we’re gonna leave Dawn now?” He asked loudly, right next to Sabo’s ear. The world shifted as he halfheartedly bat at the source, a mumbled attempt asking for lower volumes barely incoherent off his lips. Quieter, Luffy paused before asking again in a harsh whisper, “does‘at mean we’re gonna leave Dawn now?” 

Sand shifted below him and Sabo squinted his eyes open to meet Ace’s gaze just as his older brother reached for him, the action seeming to be unconscious in it’s intent to check on him. The freckled boy visibly relaxed when he looked at him, his shoulders loosening and stance straightening as he turned his attention to Luffy’s question instead. “Besides Lu, Sabo ‘n I can use some haki now— an’ Lu can _sorta_ aim,” He chipped in. Luffy glared. The smaller boy’s immediate move for swift retribution was only barely halted by Ryū plucking him up by his tank top to deposit him right back onto the sand like a cowed kitten by the scruff. 

“Start packin’, Boys,” Ryū said, and immediately all of Luffy’s annoyance was evaporated under a maelstrom of excitement. Sabo shut his eyes again to the sound of Ace shouting and the _twaang_ of rubber. 

* * *

“So what’s the plan?” Sabo asked curiously, trotting at Ryū’s heel. “We still hav’ta steal a boat, so will we leave in the morning?” 

A gloved hand pushed his hat down. It was a testament to Sabo’s exhaustion, that he didn't even bother reaching up to bat Ryū’s hand away and instead just glared from under the brim. “There’s no ‘we’,” the eldest admitted, and didn’t turn even when he heard the boys all stop walking. “I’m going alone. You three just have to wait by the beach, so I can sail around the island and pick you up.” For a long, stifling moment, none of them said a word. Ryū couldn't hear the boys breathing anymore, frozen as they were. 

“What?” Ace finally snapped. 

Ryū sighed and stopped walking. _Here we go._

“You can’t _do_ that,” Luffy started, sounding remarkably scandalized for a seven-year-old, and if Sabo had any energy left, he would have been nodding furiously. “You can’t go there _alone!”_

“At least one of us should come,” Ace said. Ryū refused to turn. He knew the moment he did, he would be inviting this opposition to be a conversation— god forbid, an _argument—_ when he was already set on what was going to happen. There would be no changes. The boys were just going to wear themselves out before they even left the island. 

Luffy latched himself to his legs and Ryū considered that maybe it was already too late to avoid a conversation. “I’m going alone,” he said firmly. “I’m the oldest, strongest, and fastest— and no one there knows my face besides as some guy who sells furs and skins sometimes. It’s best for me to go alone.” 

Not that any of them cared about what was “best”, or “smartest”. Maybe Sabo would, if he was slightly more awake– or cared less. Luffy was already violently shaking his head, cheek squished to Ryū’s thigh. He had to resist the ever prevalent urge to ruffle the boy’s hair.. As it was, those huge brown eyes nearly froze him with indecision. “This isn’t a choice, Lu.” It couldn’t be. This was different from all the visits before– longer, riskier. He refused to put them through it when he was perfectly capable on his own, past trauma and memories or not. 

_This is a dream. It’s all a dream and yet– yet–_

It was just a dream, just a figment of his imagination. No amount of hope would ever make it real– he wouldn't fool himself like that. To do so would just be inviting weakness back in. All of the grief and hopelessness he gained, in the void made from losing Ace–– 

_It’s just a dream. The best one I’ve had since Ace died. The only place I could ever have all of my brothers again, in one place– safe and alive and happy… even if they aren't real. Even if nothing I do is real, even if I’m not real––_ Tears stung in the back on Ryu’s eyes, unbidden and inevitable and he violently pushed down the boiling anger, the helplessness, the frustration, the clinging desperation and cold reach of despair–– _I won’t risk it. I won't risk the only dream I’ve gotten so far that has– that could make me so happy._

Knowing he would eventually wake up and leave this all behind didn’t change that. He had this chance to protect his family— whether it was real or not couldn’t change how he felt. 

Not that he thought his little brothers would think of that as a good reason. He knew better than to hope for that. 

“We’re going to go out when it’s dark anyway,” Ace pointed out, “so what if you’re stronger! We’re strong too, and no one will even see us. _We’re coming.”_ When Ryū didn’t respond right away, the second eldest tensed as if preparing for a physical fight. “You can’t stop us,” he snarled, something heatedly protective burning to life in his eyes. “You’ve been training us every day, and we could get in and out even before that! We’re not lettin’ you go alone.” 

It was a fairly solid argument– after all, Ryū hadn’t wasted his time trying to hammer at least one branch of haki into the boys. None of them could truly be treated as if they were normal, and armament haki was a steady if not tiny development for both Ace and Sabo. They couldn't focus enough to keep it up, or to be anywhere as solid as Ryū could, but even a flicker could save their life in the long run. Sabo’s extra time in training meant his stamina was better than Ace’s, but in general, both of them had a long way to go before being able to even touch New World levels. 

Regardless, it was an investment that could only keep giving. Ryū wasn't sure if he was more surprised or proud that any of them had already come so far… but again, it wasn't as if any of them were normal. Not to mention the thought of training Luffy in armament haki was more than a little scary. He had barely figured out how to aim– if Ryū had to deal with more cracked ribs or landslides because a wayward fist planted itself wrong he was going to throw himself into the ocean. 

He hadn't even brought up conqueror's haki yet, and he wasn't sure if he was quite crazy enough to admit he was looking forward to it. 

(Something missed about Luffy nagged at the back of his head, dutifully ignored. Luffy wasn’t able to hide anything– there was nothing to worry about right? There was nothing suspicious about his brother’s increasingly familiar and uncanny ability to judge others at a glance, or tell how any of them felt… Luffy was just Luffy. His intuitive youngest brother. Nothing to worry about.)

He had been quiet for too long. The tell was starting to become more and more frustrating obvious, with how often Ryū kept zoning out about other things– and there was no mistaking the look on the boys’ faces. Ryū should have known better than to think _normal_ tactics of logic would work. The boys didn't care for logic– not even Sabo did, all the time. Diversion might, if they didn't catch him out on his lie, but–– 

A glance at Sabo confirmed his doppelgänger was still dazed, only vaguely participating in the conversation. Despite his clear distaste with the argument, his mind was clearly elsewhere. He barely even reacted when Luffy nearly knocked off his top hat in his efforts to vehemently argue for High Town. 

_Diversion it is._ “Okay,” Ryū said, and when he loosened his shoulders Ace predictably stilled. Luffy paused in his tirade, eyes pinned to his brothers. Sabo didn’t do more than blink, looking up at the sudden quiet. His eyes weren't focused, clearly not fully following the conversation. _Perfect._

Ryū smiled disarmingly and only felt a little guilty for its success. Normally he would never manage to fool Ace or Luffy– much less so Sabo. But with his smaller counterpart down and out for the count, mentally exhausted, focused on conserving his energy, Luffy and Ace both were left open to Ryū’s bad habits. 

_They must really not want me to go alone_. 

The guilt was carefully folded and compartmentalized away. 

“Fine then,” he said, and made sure his voice sounded annoyed, tired. The boys predictably perked up at the sound, backs straightening and bodies stilling. 

Ace was even smiling. Ryū was starting to wonder if he was only managing to punish himself, lying to the only people he never should have had to like this– “We can come,” he said, and it wasn’t a question. Luffy’s eyes practically sparkled in victory. 

Ryū shoved every tension and twitch deeper. Kept his shoulders loose, his hands open. _“Of course,”_ he said sweetly, and watched, carefully still, as both his youngest and oldest cheered. Sabo just sent them a distracted smile, blinking hazily as he reacted instinctively to his brother’s happiness without fully having the presence of mind to process it. 

Ryū pocketed his hands before they could give him away. His face was still as stone. A twitch in his smile could give him away. “I’ll wake you before we go,” he promised, long-suffering and fond– playfully exasperated. Perfect. Predictable. An ever diligent prevaricator, playing a controlled role on a stage. 

He wouldn’t. 

* * *

The Grey Terminal was unrecognizable. What had once been his home, over a decade ago, was now little more than one giant black scar marring the island. Even months after the “cleansing” fires the cloying stench of burning rubbish still choked the air before even reaching the forest boundary. Ryū’s boots sank with every step into dark ash and charred soil. 

He looked up at the wall separating the trash from the filth. 

Ryū didn’t think he was a short man. He may not be massive, like Whitebeard, or Big Mom, or even Doflamingo, but he was a solid 6’2 and well built. That didn’t stop the walls of Goa from towering over him– cold, detached, impenetrable— _and now,_ he mused, tracing a hand down one of the new and numerous violent smears and streaks, _burnt to shit._

A breeze ruffled his cloak, forcing smoky air into his lungs. Any cold tiny particles of amusement faded like ash in the wind. 

Ryū took a last, absentminded glance to confirm the moon’s position in the sky before digging his hardened toes firmly into the crumbling stone and launching himself as high as possible. It only took a few pushes— his fingers leaving a distinct 3-pronged mark that he knew in the future would have given him away— to clear the wall entirely. A sweep of haki proved the closest presences patrolled just out of eyesight. Ryū tucked himself into a roll straight off the boundary wall and into the darker edges of the street. It had only taken maybe a minute, quiet and unnoticed. The city slept on, unaware that one of it’s particularly wild street rats had come home to it’s perfectly clean sewers. 

_Not a sound, not a trace,_ he repeated to himself. Years of espionage, of sneaking and hiding and prying from the gaps in the clockwork would not fail him here. He drew his cloak tighter around him regardless. Somehow the stink of Grey Terminal, even desecrated as it was, had air less choking than the heady and artificial perfumes of High Town. 

Ryū sighed. _High town always made me nauseous, but if I keep getting distracted like this I’m going to screw up somewhere._ Shaking off his unease, he refocused on his haki, orienting it towards where he last felt the guards—

—and then was sprinting before he could register _why,_ just in time to see a tiny bundle _rocketing_ at high velocity over the same wall he had just vaulted over. 

He had to leap just to catch it— as it was, he barely managed to snag it before it could smash into the wall of a house. Ryū cursed under his breath, tucking the parcel instinctively into his stomach as he carefully landed in a crouch just inches from scuffing the building loudly. A cold sweat was beginning to soak through his shirt, through his hair, because while he was still too panicked to think he didn’t need to look to _know—_

_“Lu!”_ He sputtered. The name almost exploded out of him, hissing past teeth clamped tight to block the swell of nausea on his throat. The child in his arms wiggled, familiar tiny hands poking free of his cloak to try and shove the fabric off. Adrenaline was still hammering through Ryū hard enough to hint at a quickly building migraine. He was too shocked to even be pissed. Yet. “What are you _doing here?!”_

Luffy finally squirmed enough to poke his head free from his own tangle of limbs and fabric and smiled brightly. A rubbery little hand nearly smacked Ryū in the jaw in its owner’s haste to wave energetically at him— as if the little _gremlin_ hadn’t just snuck out without permission, or followed Ryū without permission, or slingshotted himself directly into a ton of people who _hated_ him _without permission––_

“Hi Ryū!” He chirped, “I rocket’d over the wall!!” 

Ryū didn’t even bother fighting the urge to facepalm. He did so gladly— and as dramatically as possible with a rubbery armful of obstinate baby brother. “I saw, Lu,” he moaned, “but _why_ did you rocket over the wall?” The guards moved in the distance, slowly turning to double back and Ryū carefully slipped into the closest alleyway. “You’re supposed to be at _home,”_ he hissed quietly, “at home and _asleep.”_

...Not that he was really surprised. The more he thought about it in retrospect, the more he realized he should have anticipated this happening. That didn’t mean he _liked_ it. 

He couldn’t feel Ace or Sabo, now that he was _actively_ checking (He should have always been checking, should have looked both behind and before, should have _known–_ ), and hated that he wasn’t sure yet if it was a blessing or a curse. He had a feeling he knew exactly why Luffy wanted to come, too. _“Adventure”_ alone did not put such a defensive look on his smallest brother’s face. 

_“No way!”_ Sure enough, Luffy was scowling the moment Ryū had spoken. He tried to dislodge the arms around him, but when Ryū only held him tighter he settled for crossing his arms over his chest. It didn’t in any way stop him from sending Ryū the most accusing pout he had ever seen on the brat. “You lef’ Ace n’ Sabo behind, but I’m not gonna go _anywhere!_ Ryū-nii shouldn’t be here alone.” 

The migraine he felt coming was starting to dance a jig right behind his eyes. _I have never been so annoyed to be right._

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Ryū shut his eyes in a useless attempt to stave off the inevitable. “Luffy,” He tried again, “You _need_ to go back to Colubo. I can handle being in High Town for the _few minutes_ it’ll take me to snag a boat– how do you think Ace is going to feel if he wakes up and you're not there?” he only got a pout for his troubles. Luffy squirmed uncomfortably, but didn't make a move to jump out of his arms again. Ryū let himself hope, just for a moment, that he had gotten through to his youngest. 

“No! Even if Ace gets mad, he’ll be _madder_ that you left without him ‘n Sabo.” 

_Fuck, he’s right._

“Lu–” Ryū squinted, leaning back just an inch before rubbery fingers could poke his eye out in their flailing. 

“No!” Luffy wailed. “I’m coming too!” 

“Hey–” 

“You can't go to High Town alone! Sabo hates it! I hate it! It _stinks_ and it’s _dark_ an’ _cold_ an’ everyone there is _gross,_ an’–” 

_“Luffy.”_

Luffy’s shouting was muffled under Ryū’s hand and the boy wriggled angrily, trying to pry it off until he caught sight of Ryū’s face. The eldest wasn't looking at him anymore. Luffy carefully went still, hands freezing over Ryū’s hand as he finally heard the footsteps quickly coming closer. Ryū pulled them further back into the alleyway. 

“I swear I heard something, it’s not even windy tonight!” 

“Sure, and I bet whatever stupid rich lady’s lapdog you heard agrees. Let’s just go, man, if there's a notice in the morning we can just come back and get paid for it.” 

The brothers stood absolutely still, blended into the shadows as the two guards passed them by without a glance. Even after Luffy couldn’t see them, Ryū didn’t let up. It was only long after they couldn’t hear the guards, their presences far down the street, that Ryū carefully set Luffy down. The elder’s face was serious. “We can’t afford to waste time like this if we want to set out in the morning,” he said quietly. Luffy, for once, paid full attention, recognizing the situation for what it was. “If you keep yelling, we’re going to be caught, and then it’s going to be a lot harder to sneak out unnoticed.” 

Luffy broke eye contact, guiltily scuffing at the ground with his sandal. “We’re gonna be pirates anyway though…”

“You’re only seven, Lu. You’ve got ten more years before you actually set out— we’re leaving now so that I can better train you three, so we can go somewhere better— you don’t want to cheat by getting a bounty early, do you?” He smiled when Luffy shook his head violently back and forth, nearly twisting it all the way around with the force of it. “Then you have to be _quiet._ Otherwise, I’m taking you straight back up the mountain myself, and then we won't be able to leave tomorrow like we planned.” He eyed the child critically. “Fair?” 

A familiar intensity sparked in the air, as solid as a pinch to the arm– or a punch to the gut. For all of Luffy’s excitement, the energy in him visibly steeled into something still and focused. Ryū’s stomach churned with a quiet thrill of adrenaline. 

_He won't be a crybaby forever. Just look at what he is now, charging into things headfirst as always and always managing to keep pulling through; pulling victory out of a hat like a magician who doesn't know his own tricks. I wonder what he’s gotten up to recently._

_I wonder what I’ve missed, so far, in the real world._

Ryū carefully folded that thought away, placing it neatly among the hundred others he refused to touch. 

Pressing a finger to his lips, his winked for effect just to make Luffy giggle as he drew his cloak open dramatically. “Come on then,” He invited playfully, and watched with an almost uncomfortably soft mixture of fondness and amusement when his baby brother swallowed back a cheer and clambered under his cloak. It was just long enough to cover Luffy’s toes, allowing him to stand on his own without latching onto Ryū’s waist. Still, he only moved forward when he felt rubber arms wrap securely around his waist. 

Without another word, they strode out into the streets of High Town. 

* * *

So far, they were having good luck. Luffy seemed to have taken Ryū’s warning to heart more seriously than the older had honestly expected. 

At least, as seriously as Luffy _was_ capable. Ryu had to constantly remind himself that _this_ Luffy would have less, if any of the integrity of his _real_ self. Even if he was constructed by Ryu’s dreamworld, so far he had consistently acted as Ryu could remember from before he lost his memory… smaller, weaker, more dependent on his brothers to watch out for him, and yet… _Something_ still seemed to resonate with the Luffy Ryu did know. Something deeper than physical strength, or innocence, or naivety.

(The same _something_ that Ryu refused to confront, refused to acknowledge.)

It was made slightly easier within the confines of Ryū’s cloak– both harder for Luffy to be able to dart out of Ryū’s range in time to escape and harder for him to be distracted in the first place. Even if a noise caught his attention, Ryū had so far been able to snag him before he even left the boundary of their shared disguise. (On the plus side– though Ryū refused to acknowledge it beyond a passing thought– was that the cold-sweated nausea was less overwhelming, with him focused elsewhere. He had a feeling that somehow Luffy knew that without him saying anything. His little brother kept tightening his grip on his hand every time his thoughts drifted.) 

Still, Ryū didn't expect anything to last. Luffy would, inevitably, be anything but patient. 

“Are we there yet?” Luffy stumbled trying to keep up as Ryū slipped into an alleyway to avoid another pair of guards. They had to stop more and more the closer they were to High Town. Ryū would have preferred to avoid it entirely– but taking the extra time to skirt all the way around the middle of the kingdom would lose them precious hours before dawn. If they wanted to get out with the least risk, he would just have to suck it up. 

Ryū’s gut churned with sickness. His hands were steady, his expression blank– but he wasn't able to ignore how his heart pounded as if trying to dig out of his rib cage. Every step further into the kingdom had him more and more on edge. Even being invulnerable to most physical attack, even knowing he was currently in the weakest sea, even knowing nothing was truly happening–– he still had the distinct feeling that at any moment, he would turn and see flames in the distance. If he closed his eyes he could almost smell the smoke; could almost hear the clamoring of the crowd that had smothered him in their rush to prostrate themselves before the celestial dragons who had _destroyed him––_

“Ryū-nii,” Luffy whined, head poking out from under the cloak. Ryū twitched, startled out of his memories. He returned to tracking the guards silently as they walked further away rather than trying to force words past the sudden lump in his throat. Luffy huffed and glanced around before pausing. 

Alarm bells blared in Ryū’s head. 

_“Hey!”_ Luffy exclaimed excitedly, perking up. “I know where we are!” Before Ryū could so much as curse, limbs still hesitant and slow to react, Luffy had already darted out from under their disguise– sprinting for the open street– _where the guards still were–_

 _Shit, goddammit–_ _“Luffy!”_ Ryū hissed. Panic flared in his gut as the two blips of the guards _flashed,_ auras brightening to attention as Luffy sprinted straight past them. Ditching the shadows, he bolted after his brother. “That’s not the right way! _Get back here!”_ Luffy didn't seem to hear him. He only turned back, still running forward without looking, the _idiot,_ to pout as if to say _what are you waiting for?_

Snarling insults to anyone that was listening, Ryū slipped past the guards without even blinking at their alarmed shout. All pretenses were forgotten in the face of catching his idiot little brother before something catastrophic could happen– something _more_ catastrophic. _I’m going to kill him._

His legs alone were a head taller than Luffy– it should have been easy to overtake even a hyperactive rubber child. Ryū had plenty of practice chasing him down before, and thrice the stamina and strength– and _yet._

Even for all High Town represented to him, it was still little more than a fuzzy handful of memories. Flashes of shouting, choking perfumes, his brothers laughing and jumping across rooftops and skulking through alleyways. Luffy weaved and ducked with the ease of familiarity– tearing through the streets a constant and frustrating few steps ahead. His little brother always had a hellion’s courage, and right now Ryū wanted to strangle it. His grip on his haki was slipping into blurred streets and distant auras. 

“Luffy!” he tried uselessly. 

_“We’re almost there!”_

“Almost _where?!”_ He couldn't risk slowing enough to look around. Catching a landmark could mean losing sight of Luffy, and that would mean wasting time, and that would mean delays, and recognition, _and capture and bounties–_ “This isn't where––” He nearly tripped over Luffy when the boy jerked to a halt, wide eyes staring up, and up, and _up–_

_“See?”_ Luffy said proudly, breathless with exertion. “Told ya I knew the way!” 

The Outlook mansion was exactly as he recalled it– standing clean and white, picture-perfect. Not a speck of dirt, or trash, or filth. It still towered about him. Entirely made of white marble and stone, polished until it shone. He could even still recognize the flowers on the sills as the same ones his mother would yell at the servants to get perfectly, still sickly yellow and pink and unblemished white. His eyes were drawn to the windows of his room without his consent. The bars were still there, over the glass. Decorated with flowering vines and white paint, as if it was a decoration, a _pretty_ _aesthetic_ and not a _cage–_

Ryū couldn't _breathe._

The low churning nausea burned up into his throat, sharp and searing as hot glass. His legs were frozen stiff. He couldn't hear the guards, or shouting, or even Luffy anymore– his hand jerking to cover his mouth to hold back bile. He couldn't force himself to look away even as the tugging at his coat became frantic. 

_“–ey!_ Hey! You, are you even listening?!” 

Ryū’s heart stuttered. Mind racing, he yanked Luffy closer into the folds of the cloak. Guards were steadily surrounding them and he wasn't entirely sure how so many had picked up on their trail, nor when or how long they had been there. _I need to get a grip. This is my responsibility– how could I be losing it like this?! I thought I was over these sort of reactions–_ Two guards edged closer into his peripheral, guns drawing with a click. They seemed to be slowly inching between him and the mansion, Ryū noted faintly, almost hysterical with the realization. _Do they think it's this_ place _that needs to be protected–_ he thought, disgusted, _–as if it wasn't this fucking place that– that––_

Tiny hands, so much smaller and softer than his own, pulling desperately at him. 

Ryū snapped out of his thoughts. The guard was still speaking, his mouth moving, his eyes flinty with suspicion; suddenly none of it mattered in the slightest. 

_I am a revolutionary,_ Ryū reminded himself, breathing in deeply. _They are standing in between me, and my_ target. _Not my family. That isn't my family, nor my home._ He squeezed Luffy’s hand twice, heart slowing when his little brother stilled against him before squeezing back tightly. _My family is right here. They haven't taken it from me. Not here._ The nausea still settled heavily in his stomach began to fester and _burn._ Fire branded itself in the chilled cavern of his ribcage, turning the dregs of his anxiety to ash. 

_I am not a child anymore._

“How do you do, gentlemen,” He finally responded, bowing in mock courteousness. He almost wished he could have put his tophat on, under his hood, just to have something tip at them. It was always fun, being casually polite to people who expected you to cower. Luffy shifted, pressing against him with a muffled giggle. 

_“How do you do,_ he says” One guard snarled, gun cocked straight at Ryū’s head, “This isn't the place for strangers to _wander,_ young man.” They were starting to close in rank, drawing a tight circle around the brothers. 

Ryū felt something finally settle in his chest at the familiar thrum of adrenaline. 

“I am a grown adult, excuse you _Sir,”_ He released Luffy’s hand, slowly trailing it up his back to wrap around his pipe hooked into his belt. “Would you please step aside? I am only passing through.” He didn't doubt they wouldn't let him go, nor did he doubt they thought he would let them go. Not being a revolutionary in his dreams didn't remove the hard-wired _“no witnesses”_ rule of the army. 

_“What’s going on here?!”_

Ryū’s head snapped up. He could faintly hear Luffy squeak in alarm, craning up against his back to better hear. 

Outlook III faltered when Ryū’s gaze immediately stilled on him with an intensity that made the man visibly uncomfortable, his face screwing up with an almost confused sort of fear. 

After a moment he shook it off, turning to the guard closest to him, but Ryū was pleased to see his biological father casting uncertain looks his way. “What’s going on here,” he asked again, voice raising. “Who is this— degenerate, on my property?! Can’t you guards do your job right?!” 

Under his cloak, Luffy went familiarly still. 

_Shit._ Ryū tensed in preparation– and barely in time. A second later, he was jerking forward in order to snag Luffy mid-lunge. His littlest brother barely even seemed to notice he wasn't moving, still growling like an animal and snapping his jaws as if he wanted to bite a chunk out of Outlook. Ryū didn't doubt he really _would_ if he wasn't holding him. 

_“Luffy,”_ He bit out, already knowing it was useless. His little brother refused to tear his eyes off Outlook. A dense aura was starting to rise off of Luffy almost like steam– chilled and intense, like a bubble building to burst. Ryū felt as sweat began to bead tellingly at the back of his neck. _Fuck. Shit. I should have known– I should have talked to them about conquerors haki after all, this is not the place for– “Luffy!”_ He hissed frantically. The boy didn't even twitch. 

Outlook, completely unaware of the rising danger, flushed beet red in furious recognition. 

_“You,”_ He snarled, stabbing a finger in their direction, “you little _vermin!_ Where have you put my heir now?! I’ll have you and that _other street rat_ disposed of–” Luffy stretched his neck forward past Ryū’s reach and Outlook jerked back in time to narrowly avoid losing his finger. Ryū didn't bother to stop Luffy– a second more and he would have lunged himself. As it was, sweat was starting to soak into the noble’s collar, blood rapidly draining from his face the longer he was exposed to Luffy’s building haki. 

“Sabo is _ours,”_ Luffy shouted, _“Ours!_ _Our_ brother! He’s _free_ now!” Ryū was forced to adjust his grip as Luffy wriggled violently, fingers white with how hard they pulled at the elder’s arm. 

Outlook sneered, face twitching in disgust. Ryū strongly considered just taking his chances and putting Luffy down. The guards had devolved to just watching the back and forth in tense, uncomfortable silence, unsure whether or not they were allowed to act without Outlook’s express consent. Intruding on a noble’s personal business, even if it involved illegal activity meant for the state to handle, often had too many consequences to ignore. 

_“Free?!”_ Outlook snorted an ugly laugh. “That little _ingrate_ is still going on about such childish endeavors! How could such a miscreant have come from our blood– when I retrieve him I’ll finally _fix_ that _flaw, I’ll–”_

_“That’s_ **_enough."_**

Luffy kicked and squirmed as Ryū wrestled him back down into the cloak, only to freeze instantly when he caught the eldest’s face. The budding conquerors haki unconsciously tempered down to a simmer in an instant until it was just roiling under the surface, as if caught off guard and meek. In the corner of Ryū’s eye, he could see the guards’ shoulders unconsciously falling in relief. 

_Thank God. This really wouldn't be the greatest of places for Luffy’s abilities to come out._ Not that there was ever truly a good time, besides mid-battle. Luffy wasn't even ten yet– wasn't even a teenager. Ryū wasn't about to let all his anonymity and childhood resemblance of safety be thrown out through official report of any of his boy’s capabilities–– not so soon in the game, before they could learn to use them to protect themselves. 

The child in question grumbled and squeezed Ryū into the angriest hug he had ever gotten, but still willingly ducked back under the fabric. Patting the cloak down, Ryū finally smiled. It was almost amusing to watch how the guards leaped to attention. 

Fingers jerked to triggers and barrels aimed as he lashed out. There was nothing any of them to hope to do– not that they knew that just yet. Ryū, still grinning widely, reached forward and snagged Outlook by his drenched lapels to drag him forward from his protective circle of soldiers. Outlook’s eyes bugged out his head, an order to shoot choked out of him incoherent to everyone but Ryū.

Ryū’s face was dark with humor. _“I’ve stolen your son, Outlook,”_ He sang mockingly. “I can’t promise you'll ever get him back, you see? It just wouldn't be,” Outlook wheezed when Ryū tugged on his collar like a dog on a leash, scrabbling uselessly at the hand forcing him onto his toes _“–Polite,_ as I’m sure a _noble_ such as you would understand.” Fear had far capsized the righteous anger so commonly poisoning the noble’s expression. The longer he met the eyes of his past father, the more controlled Ryū felt. He had never seen such a look twisting into his father’s ugly features– never had such a dissonance from his memories to compare. 

(Without even noticing, the clammy pallor to his cheeks had faded. The sickness in his gut had settled.) 

“L-let him go,” A guard shakily ordered, gun pointed directly at Ryū’s head. The blond didn't even twitch. He stared into Outlook’s eyes, unable to shake the _need_ to. So much indignant fear, all in the eyes of a man who had taken so _much_ from him, before. Outlook had always loomed so much larger in his dreams– except for _this_ one. 

Hidden under the cloak, Luffy shut his eyes and hugged Ryū as tightly as he could. 

_This has never happened before. Are my dreams just giving me a break? Normally everything would have gone terribly by now– I could almost call this a pleasant outcome._

“You’re _pathetic,”_ Ryū blurted out. It was so sudden, he was surprised by his own voice, not sure when he had even started speaking. His gloves were becoming slick with the sweat dripping down his biological father’s face, flushed down his neck with humiliation and helpless fear. More voices twisted up in Ryū’s throat, unbidden, unrestrained, and he just let them go. “You’re weak and disgusting.” _You have always been second only to the Dragon’s themselves, father. I bet you’d_ **_love_ ** _that._ “Even in the Grey Terminal, I have never met someone so unfailingly _filthy.”_

Clicks echoed all around him as safeties were switched off. Ryū couldn't find space in him to be concerned. 

“Step away from the civilian,” the closest guard managed, hands trembling despite the steadiness of his voice. 

_My gloves_ are _becoming rather gross._ “With pleasure.” Luffy giggled under his cloak when Ryū unceremoniously dropped Outlook like a bag of sewage, startling the nearest guards into fumbling their weapons. 

Outlook scrambled to his feet to get the ring of guards between him and Ryū. “S-Shoot them.” He slapped away any hands trying to help him up, fear twisting into smug fury the moment he perceived himself safe. _“Shoot them!”_ He roared. The guard trying to help him flinched as spittle sprayed across his cheek. “Kill them both– _him and that brat!”_

“Yes– Yes sir!” Guns clicked and glinted. 

A bullet ripped through Ryū’s shoulder in a blazing streak of flames. A second tore through his cheek to the same effect. Outlook’s face was pale as a sheet. 

Ryū bowed with a sardonic smile, every movement chased with thin tendrils of golden fire. 

_“He’s not human,”_ Someone whispered, and everything quickly flew into hyperfocus. 

The first guard to have shot barely had a chance to scream, blinded through wisps of flame and flash fire as his pistol crumpled like paper under the force of haki-imbued fingers. Ryū was ripping carnage through the crowd– crushing weapons everywhere he turned even as he kicked a guard hard enough to ram an entire group into the ground. They were unable to do much more than watch as their adversary flew over them to land with heels blazing, sending guards skidding out of the way to avoid being seared alive. 

“Yeah! Hit ‘em–” Luffy shrieked in excitement, his eyes wide and delighted where he poked his head out of the cloak. Ryū barely paused to grab Luffy before his little brother could fling himself into the fight, hands almost unconsciously flashing out to snap a sword into shards. 

Looping an arm firmly around the struggling boy’s waist, he grinned mischievously and poked at his cheek until Ryū knew he had his attention. 

“Lu~” He whispered playfully, “Can you do your _best biggest brother_ a favor?” 

Luffy blinked before glee practically sparkled in his eyes, already nodding rapidly. He would never turn down the chance to do something fun, especially when his older brothers were trusting _him_ _specifically_ to do it–! That was a matter of _pride!_

“I need you to go on a _treasure hunt_ for me,” Ryū explained briskly, barely pausing to kick an approaching guard hard enough that the man bounced far across the street. Luffy pouted, not happy at the thought of not getting to fight, but still giggled when his brother ruffled his hair lightheartedly. “It’s not an easy task for me,” Ryū said mournfully, swooning dramatically for effect, “You know I hate this place, would you really want your _dear older brother_ to go in and do it _alone?”_

Luffy’s eyes swept over the mansion with an intensity that made Ryū hide a smile behind another punch. Even with one arm occupied in holding his littlest brother, the guards were no match for him. There were already bodies strewn all across the cobblestone– more than a few left were (rather offensively,) _starting_ to look appropriately wary. If it wasn't for Outlook shouting at them, Ryū wondered if they would have just let him go. 

A shaky bullet blew right through his hip, barely missing Luffy. The atmosphere immediately chilled a few unmistakable degrees. To his left, a guard shivered from his hands to his boots, seemingly unaware why. _How rude. They don't even know he’s rubber._

Luffy wiggling in his grip made him glance back down, snapping out of his thoughts. “Lemme down,” He whined, “I gotta hurry before you finish!!” Ryū smiled and pointedly did not tell Luffy that he was _definitely_ going to be finished by the time the “treasure hunt” was done. He leaped straight at the guards in front of them, laughing when they cursed and ducked out of his way to allow him to sail straight over the pearly front gates of the mansion, directly up to the pristine entryway. 

A well aimed burst of armament haki reduced the front walls to perfect white rubble– pipes sticking out of the destroyed walls like broken bones. A picture frame shattered at Ryū’s feet. somewhere behind him, Outlook made a sound as if his hand was just run over by a bull. 

Awkwardly leaning to the side, Ryū slipped his cloak off just as Luffy wiggled free, leaving himself exposed with a black bundle of squirming fabric at his side. The guards, still scrambling after his path, thankfully kept their guns pointed at his face even when Luffy’s little head popped up, hair messily sticking out from under the too-large hood. 

“Keep your face hidden,” he said, “and I’ll let you eat anything you can carry back.” 

His words earned him a frankly _darling_ smile from the little hellion. 

Still grinning fondly to himself, the expression soft and completely out of place, he turned back to abusing law enforcement as Luffy scampered straight through the unconscious bodies. His littlest brother bounced out of the way of any groping hands with ease, weaving in and out of sight around the rubble now strewn all over the cobblestone and out of sight within seconds. He only tripped over the cloak twice! Ryū was so proud. 

Ryū stood over the men still stumbling over each other to get away from him, absentmindedly yanking a random pipe out of the debris to twirl in his hand. “Now, now,” he teased, and something sadistic reared gleefully in him watching the blood drain from various faces, “Bored of me already? I’ve been _nothing_ but polite, you know.” Two bullets slammed through him, one belting through his shoulder and the other splitting the edge of his smile with a lash of fire that turned his visage a golden red. He barely turned before smashing the pipe into the shooter’s jaw with enough force to send him flying. Blood flecked across the bridge of his nose, sizzling where it splattered across his still glowing grin. 

Distantly, he registered a flash of light in his right peripheral. 

_Thank the seas I sent Luffy inside._

His pipe whistled and sang with every swing. For an improvised weapon, she was hefty with decent metals and a good weight– leaving superheated welts on every guard that brushed her. Someone screamed, something crashed, and Ryū sighed blissfully. _This is rather therapeutic, actually. I can't wait to be back on the Grand Line._

Unfortunately, his brawl wasn't hoping to be anything but brief. It only took maybe a minute before those who actually risked trying to arrest him (or kill him– which was annoying. Didn't they realize yet that bullet or a sword couldn't hurt him? They acted like men straight out of Marineford, with all of its fancy seastone funding and decent training) were all out for the count, leaving a messy heap of bodies at Ryū’s feet. He didn't even have a hair out of place. It was almost _annoying,_ to so easily outmatch others. Even Ace and Sabo, at their ages, were a far better fight! Sighing in irritation, Ryū leveled the new pipe casually over his shoulder. _This is kind of embarrassing, honestly. Thank the seas we’re leaving._

Outlook, crumpled to the ground, was backed up against the rubble of his home. 

Slapping a smile on his face, Ryū daintily strode forward, stepping over bruised and beaten guards as if not wanting to get blood on his boots– as if he didn't already have plenty of it splattered across his clothes. Outlook pressed uselessly against the wall. 

“Look at that,” Ryū said pleasantly, just to be an asshole, “What a _riot!”_

Outlook’s face twitched, conflicted between being terrified or being indignant before settling on fury. “What now then,” He scoffed, “You’ve beaten up a bunch of guards. I can always call for more– the marines will get a hold on you even if _these_ useless fools won't!” Ryū only grinned maliciously, enjoying how Outlook’s eyes darted fearfully to his hands as the younger man reached for him. 

“Maybe so,” he said, still coolly casual in a way that made Outlook boil. Whisking a pair of handcuffs out of a random body’s pockets, he lazily snapped them onto his biological father’s wrist before happily cuffing him to a passed out guard and pocketing the key himself. “It still won't stop us.” Outlook sputtered uselessly, too stunned to even pull at the chain, and Ryū _gently_ knocked him over the head. 

The noble slumped like a ragdoll, finally, blessedly _silent._

Sighing, Ryū leaned back on his new pipe to glance over the carnage of guards and the ruined mansion. _I wonder if Luffy is done yet?_

Almost on cue, Ryū moved in time to catch a familiar rubber projectile just as it hurled itself out of one of the third story balconies. “This isn’t necessarily a habit I like, Lu,” Ryū complained with no small amount of exasperation. “You're not a bouncy ball! Being rubber won't help you if you land on broken glass, you know.” Luffy only giggled, leaning into his hands as he carefully brushed shards of glass from his hood and hair. His little brother pouted when he glanced over his shoulder, whining loudly at the sight of the remains of the guards. 

“Aww, come on! That’s so stingy, Ryū-nii!” Despite his complaints, he made no moves to escape Ryū’s arms. The elder took the time to eye Luffy’s haul and hummed perplexedly. Luffy’s tiny body protectively cradled a mass of what looked like just an assortment of random objects, many of them smeared with bits of food he could only vaguely recall. _He really did just stuff everything he could grab into the cloak, didn't he?_ Ryū couldn’t even recognize some of it, and lots of pieces were clearly broken off from something else, or just– broken. 

“...Lu? What is that?” He asked hesitantly, poking at a shiny… something. Maybe a candlestick? It was so… squiggly.

Luffy glanced down at his “treasure”, eyeing it with a complex expression. “Umm…” Poking at what might be a decorative door handle (it still was connected to a torn chunk of wood, getting splinters everywhere), he grinned. “Dunno!” 

Luffy may be small, the smallest of them all, but the load really was large. The rubber boy had to wind his arms multiple times around the cloak like an improvised sack just to carry it all without overbalancing– and every jostle sent loose coins and jewelry and obscure shiny knick-knacks spilling across the floor with little musical clinks. Luffy looked particularly proud of his armful of stuff and things; he was beaming happily at Ryū even as they both scrutinized it with confusion. 

Ryū supposed it was less him being happy about the metals and various possibly precious materials and more that he was excited over the food they could both smell buried in the pile. The longer they stood there the more an unidentified sauce was soaking through the fabric and into Ryū’s sleeves. Luffy had meat sauce and cream smeared on his face. _So that’s what took him so long. Gluttony._

“Sabo says it's nasty,” Luffy started defensively, watching how Ryū’s nose scrunched up, “But nobody was eating it! So it’s mine now.” Suddenly the boy glared, protectively hovering over his stash. “‘M not sharing,” He warned. 

Ryū only laughed. “Don't worry, I think it’s nasty too. It’s all yours– unless Ace wants some.” 

His youngest brother opened his mouth, clearly about to start violently defending his food again, only to hesitate. He eyed his prizes with a critical eye. 

Ryū’s heart burst into flames (nearly literally, if he hadn't clamped down on that quickly enough–) when Luffy carefully picked out a hunk of something that smelled sickly sweet even through its shiny red paper box before determinedly handing it to his older brother for safekeeping. “I dunno what it is,” Luffy admitted sheepishly, “But it smells really good! So, Ace will like it, right?” 

“Of course.” Barely hiding his gag at the overpowering smell of chemicals and sugar, Ryū indulgently packed the little pastry into an inner pocket. Ace was more predictably to like that Luffy managed to save him something that smelled good to him, rather than the pastry itself. Either way, it would still get eaten, and Luffy would be happy. _And Ace too,_ Ryū thought in amusement, _he’s going to turn so red._

Amusement vanished as he picked up voices, hushed and frantic, coming from the opening he had forced out of the walls. He only needed to wait a moment, however, for a tiny maid to stumble out of the rubble. She squeaked loudly at the sight of the guards and Outlook, frozen in front of Ryū only to scramble out of the way when Didit nearly trampled her running outside with Stelly in her arms. 

“Father!” Stelly shrieked dramatically, eyes bugging out as he noticed Outlook passed out on the floor. 

Ryū raised an eyebrow to see how ruffled and dirty his past step-brother was, smeared with cream and sauce and sent a questioning glance to the unmistakable culprit in his arms. 

Luffy smiled innocently up at him.

It was less impressive– and far less adorable– to see his once-step-brother glaring at him. “How _dare_ you,” he seethed, shakily posturing. _“You’ll pay for this!”_ Despite his words, the kid folded the moment Luffy made for him. 

Ryū calmly tugging at his cheek to halt him in his tracks before the child could do something impulsive like try to launch himself at someone again. “Protect the treasure, Lu,” He said, putting Luffy back on the ground and winking playfully. “Your big brother will handle this one.” 

Dijit tripped over her own feet backing away as he approached, face twisted in a mixture of disgust and fear– but Ryū only sidestepped her, stopping before the mansion. For a long moment, neither of them said a word. Ryū pensively knocked against one of the many supporting pillars holding the upper half of the mansion. “W-What are you doing?” She finally snapped. Ryū glanced at her and she froze. 

“Searching,” He said simply. His right hand, still resting on the pillar, blackened with haki. Both nobles screamed when his fingers bit into the white marble. Ryū only smiled as the stone shattered into dust and rubble, showering them all– except Luffy, who was sitting just out of range– in white powder and pebble. A cheery hop and a skip was all it took for Ryū to reduce the next pillar to the same fate. 

The house rattled ominously. 

Shrieking, Dijit dove out of the way as one of the large balconies collapsed above her. Ryū kicked in a fifth support beam, taking out a wall alongside it, when the whole mansion began to shake apart at the seams. 

Luffy giggled, raising his hands up to Ryū as the older snatched him back up, both of them grinning delightedly as rubble and debris chased at their heels. The clattering of glass and fine china could be heard even through the chaos. He couldn’t see her, swallowed by the cloud of kicked-up marble dust and dirt, but Ryū could hear his blood family screaming. _Outlook must have woken up. Good._

Unable to stop smiling, Ryū hugged Luffy tighter to him. “Okay,” he said breathlessly, “detour’s over— if we get to the docks now, everyone should be distracted over here!” He didn't even bother to put Luffy back down. The boy didn’t seem to care in the slightest, one arm tangled in his stash and the other tightly gripped onto Ryū’s blood-and-dirt-streaked lapels. “We’re going to set sail,” he said dreamily, memories nearly glazing his eyes with tears, and Luffy cheered loud enough to rattle his eardrums. 

The streets were all but empty— it took what felt like milliseconds to reach the docks. The only people there were a handful of watchers, a sailor or two checking the anchors and ropes— it was easy as breathing to shove some hapless keeper overboard and hop onto the first boat they saw. Ryū finally let Luffy go to rush for the rigging, skin fever-hot with excitement. “Raise the anchor,” he rushed out, “just throw it on board! Snap it if you have too— we’re _leaving!”_ Food and ornaments christened their new stolen deck where Luffy unceremoniously let the cloak tumble to the floorboards. Ryū couldn't even _breathe_ through the excitement. His mind was a rampant mantra of _setting sail, we’re setting sail, setting sail again, gone, free, goodbye–_

 _“Hey!_ Stop— _wait!”_

“That’s not yours— _sir!”_

Ryū laughed, loudly and free, his heart burning in his chest as Luffy’s hissing little giggle filled the air. Without him even needing to ask, his brother ran to the head of the ship and latched onto the railing, huge eyes watching the dark horizon. There was no time for Ryū to anchor himself– no time to tie anything to the back end of the boat. He would just have to hope the momentum didn't throw either of them overboard.

“Let’s go,” he gasped, shoving a sail into place and digging his heels in, gloves sparking white-hot, “hold on tight!” 

A flash of fire so hot it evaporated the waves lapping at the docks _exploded_ out of his hands. The boat tilted violently. Luffy shrieked in excitement as the entire ship lurched. Ryū poured firepower into his palms until the ship practically was rocketing away from Dawn Island, splitting across the ocean as if a stone skipping across the surface. “T-the _wheel!”_ He managed, shouting over the roar and praying Luffy actually heard it, “turn it left! Towards the forest!” 

_“I can do it!”_

_I know,_ Ryū’s entire body screamed, _I’ve always known!_

He didn’t stop throwing fire until the docks disappeared around the curve of the island, shocked faces swallowed by distance and familiar forest. Ryū’s hands shook just the slightest bit when he finally let the flames lapse. “We’re clear,” he called. Something edging into disbelief was audible in his voice. He swallowed thickly, “we’re clear!” 

Barely a heartbeat later he couldn’t see past his sudden lap full of little brother. Luffy was unstoppable, practically vibrating out of his skin where he wiggled restlessly in his lap. _“We did it!”_ He cheered, throwing his fists up so violently in victory that the resulting stretch and recoil nearly snapped him back onto the floorboards. “We’re _sailing!”_

“We are,” Ryū choked out, breathless beyond belief. Years of sailing, of traveling everywhere with the Revolutionaries— years of being free— and yet he stood there staring at the ocean, just as taken aback by how _far_ the world seemed to stretch. 

The first breath of freedom never truly got old. Never became tiring, or boring, or expected— every spray of ocean mist, every inhale of salty air, was a firm reminder of what he had to gain. 

For a single, paralyzing moment, Ryū felt terrifyingly _awake._ Felt as if, suddenly, every blind in his mind’s windows had snapped open. Drowning, he stared over the horizon, eyes wide open. 

_I have never had even a night terror as real as this._

“Ryū! Ryū-nii! Come on, we hafta hide everything before Ace sees it!” Luffy cried distantly. Ryū blinked, mind steadying to focus on his little brother to watch as he frantically stuffed pastries into his mouth. His world was still tilted, spinning nauseatingly— but the longer he looked, the more it began to reorient. The distinct feeling of _wrong, something is wrong, something has_ **_always_ ** _been wrong,_ was again pushed somewhere far down and dark. Somewhere Ryū hadn’t even noticed he had stuffed the thought before. 

Luffy again moaned for his help and he swiftly shut the door on the feeling. 

_Nothing is wrong. I’m allowed to have a good dream now and then, aren’t I?_

The worry, this time, refused to fade. 

* * *

Ace and Sabo hadn’t stopped glaring from the moment they saw the boat sailing towards them. 

“You _bastard,”_ Ace hissed, “who said you could just ditch us?”

“Luffy got to go,” Sabo murmured darkly. The blond was, at least, not as angry as Ace clearly was— he had never wanted to go to High Town in the first place. But waking up minus two brothers, especially their headstrong youngest, was less than impressive. (Was terrifying, actually, but he wasn’t about to up and say that and neither was Ace. The hour spent scouring the forest before stewing in their realization would go with them both to the grave.) “You could have at least woken us.” 

“Or just _not lied,”_ Ace cut in bitterly. 

Luffy nodded sagely. “Brothers don't keep secrets.” 

Ryū only watched on as his two smaller brothers smacked their youngest upside the head, hurtling him forwards onto the grass. _He deserved it for that one, I’ll give them that._

“That _hurts,”_ he whined, rubbing the back of his head, and Ryū wasn't sure whether to be exasperated or proud that his little siblings had taken to haki for what felt like solely to scold Luffy. (He would only be proud if it worked, he decided, and knew right then and there that he had doomed his own bet to fail.) “You don't hafta hit me jus’ ‘cause I’m right!” 

“Shut up,” The two middle brothers snapped in tandem. “You’re the one who snuck out! You didn’t wake us either, you rubber-brained, airheaded–” 

_“Okay,”_ Ryū cut in. He raised his hands in amused defense when three glares were all redirected to him. “Okay,” He tried again, “Either way, we’re back safe and got the boat!” 

The looks only seemed to harden. Sabo jabbed a finger in his direction with all the scrutinizing sharpness of an experienced field medic. “You have _no right_ to talk,” His doppelganger accused. Ryū sheepishly stepped back as Sabo rounded on him, Ace hot on his heels. “What do you think _woke us up!?”_

“We could hear the yelling all the way from High Town,” Ace supplied. Ryū winced. 

“You’ve got holes in your clothes, Ryū-nii,” Sabo continued, barely pausing to breathe. “Those weren't there before! I was in Grey Terminal long enough to recognize bullet holes–– and that blood on you wasn't there before!” Luffy shrunk when the blond spun on him, glare losing none of it's edges. “Don't think I miss the holes in that cloak either! Both of you got _caught,_ what does that mean from now on? We could see the fire even from the treehouse, whatever happened wasn't just a dine and dash, was it?” He again turned on Ryū, face thunderous. “If you dare lie to me again....” He snarled.

Whistling, Luffy’s eyes darted into the treeline. Ryū felt sweat pearl at the nape of his neck. 

Sabo sighed, long-suffering and tired. 

“...We still got the boat,” Luffy broke in, waving his arms wildly. “An’ both of us aren't hurt. None of the blood is even ours!” The two middle brothers faltered, physically unable to maintain their composure when their smallest brother turned huge glistening eyes on them. “We’re gonna set _sail,”_ He said, the words still tinged with the same untempered awe and bewilderment as the first time he said it, “aren't you _excited?!”_

Ace and Sabo exchanged a quick glance. Whatever unspoken argument they had soothed into acquiescence without Ryū even needing to risk their ire again, allowing the bare hints of eagerness to sneak back into their expressions. 

Nodding, Ace finally uncrossed his arms. He immediately put them in his pockets instead, but Ryū still counted it for a win– as much of a win as Sabo smiling was. “I guess,” They conceded. Their tone belied the exhilaration quickly building in their frames, the adrenaline barely shoved under the surface in time to act angry. 

Ryū grinned. _These kids are going to be the death of me._ “Hop on then,” He said, and cheerfully scooped all three boys in his arms before they could do something stupid like actually hop in themselves– or remember to be angry at him. Luffy barely even blinked, only winding his limbs firmly around him and giggling as his older brothers’ protests fell on ignorant ears. “We’re going to go on an adventure!” 

“At least let us grab our stuff!” 

“Ryū-nii! Are you even listening?! Goddammit, let me _down–”_

“Shishishishi! Setting sail~” 

It took a single trip to get everyone on board, living and nonliving included. Ryū sang obnoxiously the entire time to cover how he was delightfully watching the boys react to being on the ocean. Without even setting off yet, all three little brothers were practically bursting at the seams. Luffy bounced with the rocking waves, excitedly pointing out everything he could to Sabo. He spoke at a mile a minute, rattling off what he saw used for in the brief trip they made from Goa. Ace side-stepping his brothers, leaving them to talk while he stared off the side of the ship with an expression Ryū hadn't seen his brother make in... a long time. 

Ace looked up at him with a look in his eyes so unbelievably _soft,_ stunned into honesty. His guarded older-little brother, in that moment, seemed to unfurl like a flower in the sun. 

“We’re leaving Dawn,” He whispered, and Ryū could do nothing but listen, but lean in and desperately memorize the way all the hard lines in Ace’s face melted under his skin. How his shoulders loosened, how he smiled without seeming to care that anyone was watching. Luffy and Sabo had fallen suspiciously quiet, behind him, and for the life of him, Ryū wasn't able to turn away from this moment. 

_(The one he never had.)_

Ace grinned at him brilliantly, his eyes reflecting something so childishly happy that Ryū was speechless from it. “Were going to be pirates,” He said. Conviction turned such a breathless little statement into fact, into fate– something undeniable and inevitable. “Were going to be _free.”_

Warmth exploded outward from his chest, expanding all the way to his toes. Ryū’s answering grin split his face so widely he thought the corners of his mouth might turn to flames. Luffy attached himself to his leg, Sabo trotting to Ace’s side to watch the waves below, and Ryū–– _laughed._

He laughed, loud and long, and didn't care what showed on his face, or if the boys caught the suspicious wetness he could feel in his eyes. Everything was _okay,_ more than okay. The boys smiled at him, watery and full and alive, and he nearly caught himself sobbing with the force of how happy he was. 

_I can’t believe I have this,_ he thought, mind desperate with the thought, with the sudden, overwhelming need to hold on tightly, to dig his nails in until they bled, and bled, and _bled_ –– _I can't believe I could have had this._

The boys moving to tackle him at once nearly knocked them all right off the bow of the ship. None of them could care less. 

* * *

Setting off alone was an emotional affair. They were still close enough to see the windmills of Foosha Village. If Ryū squinted, he could just make out the top of their treehouse. 

Still, it was now or never. “Any last words?” He asked, sitting down with a thump on the floorboards. “You won't be able to see Dawn Island for a long time, if any of you ever bother to come back. Now’s the time to say our goodbyes, don't you think?” 

_“Hell_ no.”

“Good riddance.”

 _Ever the optimists,_ Ryū thought exasperatingly. Both Ace and Sabo had made equal disgusted expressions at the mere sentiment of saying goodbye to the place where they had been beaten, ostracized, outcasted– used and abused. Ryū wasn't surprised to see such a lack of regard– and yet–

Luffy, still beaming ear to ear, jumped to the edge of the ship. Ace and Sabo both watched, eyebrows high in confusion while Ryū just smiled complacently. Leaning over the railing, he breathed in as deep as his little lungs could allow him. 

_“GOODBYE MAKINO!”_

Ace and Sabo watched on, eyes wide, as Luffy took another deep breath. 

_“GOODBYE WOOP SLAP, AND THE PARTY BAR, AND– AND––!”_

The boys exchanged a stunned look before staring up at Ryū. Their eldest didn't react, smile only barely softening around the edges as he nudged them forward with a knowing glint in his eye. Ace blinked, jerking in surprise as Sabo stumbled to his feet after Luffy. 

_“GOODBYE!”_ The two boys screamed. Sabo only paused for a moment, looking back at their missing sibling. Ace’s breath stuttered. 

Ryū continued to smile. 

Jerking upright, almost as if in a daze, Ace shakily joined his brothers at the railing. They shared a smile, breaking at the edges, and inhaled as one. _“GOODBYE DADAN! GOODBYE TO MAGRA, AND DOGRA, AND ALL THE STUPID BANDITS, AND EVERYONE IN FOOSHA!!”_

 _“GOODBYE!”_ Luffy screamed, voice breaking with the effort. _“THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!”_

Ryū finally cracked, laughing hysterically even as tears, for the second time in just an hour, pricked his eyes. The boys panted furiously, shoulders heaving with the exertion of their yelling. None of them even glared at their oldest brother for laughing, only able to share an overwhelmingly excited grin as if feeding off each other’s giddiness. 

He continued to laugh, chest tight and yet looser than it had been in what felt like years. He laughed until the boys all clambered back into his arms, sharing the success, the victory, the hope, and Ryū was left nearly breathless with joy– so much of it that it drowned out the seemingly endless cold in his chest he had woken up with–

(Because this was all he had ever wanted, and never got.) 

“Goodbye,” He said, hoarsely, when all the boys had left was exhausted exhilaration and fading adrenaline. Falling asleep in his lap, he doubted they even registered what he was saying. He was fine with that– this was as much for them as it wasn't. (For all the people he never got to thank, who he never got to remember,) “Thank you.” 

Dawn was getting smaller in the distance. He should really get up and make sure they were still on course for– wherever they wanted to go next. Anywhere. 

He couldn't get up. Not yet. 

_“Thank you…!”_

* * *

Dadan paused, drink halfway to her mouth. 

“Boss?” Magra asked, looking up from where he was making rice. “What’s wrong?”

The bandit hesitated before shrugging and taking a long gulp of sake. “...Nothing,” She eventually said, unable to think of how to quantify the sudden warmth that had bloomed in her chest, like heat from a distant campfire, or a hot drink that burned all the way down. “Just wondering what the boys are gettin' up to, right now.”

* * *

In the middle of wiping down a table in the Party Bar, Makino stopped to raise her hand to her mouth and laugh. 

“Those boys,” She said, shaking her head fondly, unable to explain how she felt but knowing they somehow had something to do with it. “They all better stay safe." 

She had no doubt they'd be just fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i spent!!! Hours!! Editing and retouching yesterday!!!!! It was the most productive ive been in weeks i literally did NOTHING last week and wrote pack bond instead but here it is, the longest chapter with all my blood sweat and tears lmao
> 
> ive barely touched ch 11 unfortunately so that's gonna take a while, but i hope yall enjoyed ch 10. its 23 pages long in my draft document and lags out on my phone
> 
> edit-- i just realized i forgot to follow up on a small part lmao but i have class in 10 min so :/ later
> 
> 12/7/19 - basic clarity edit, spacing
> 
> As always, you can find me over at my tumblr, [Leviathiane](https://leviathiane.tumblr.com/)


	11. Just a Couple Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are on open waters, and in all the excitement 500 tiny things go wrong exclusively because Ryu is unprepared and naive supervision for the East's rowdiest children ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a lighter chapter, compared to the last... all of them.
> 
> it's also Barely edited so i might touch it up once my finals are over

It took a long time for them to settle down. 

They hadn't been out on the ocean too long even– maybe a handful of hours, judging by where the sun was. Yet in that time the boys had only settled enough to finally lapse into silence. Running about the deck had turned to standing by the front of the ship, watching the waves, which turned to sitting and watching the waves, all in slowly lengthening quiet. Even Luffy was still; he was plenty content to watch as seawater hit the side of their little vessel and sent spray up into his face until he stunk of salt. 

Ryū admittedly had been right beside them, at least for the first few hours. So many months on land, even distracted with the dream of his long-lost brothers in front of him, had left his body to ache for the sea. It was like a bruise under his clothes. Like running on a bad leg and yet never noticing until the race was over– pulling just the same, unnoticed and quiet until caught. 

The open ocean was always soothing in a way that, coupled with the unimpeded sky, never failed to soothe his nerves. The boys had taken to the sentiment as if having been born and raised on the tides. Seeing Dawn Island so far in the distance… it flicked an invisible switch in all of them. If Ryū didn't already expect their reaction he might have almost been alarmed. Seeing the boys so calm, content to sit and just observe– seeing such a soft expression even on someone as perpetually prickly as Ace– was both pleasing and unnerving. Unperturbed, even Sabo had been smiling openly since they set off. All previous animosity at Ryū for lying had evaporated into the atmosphere like all the salt in the ocean without a trace. 

They were lucky enough to relax, for now. Ryū had honestly forgotten just how advantageous it was to sail in the world’s weakest sea. 

It couldn’t last. 

(not when people like Garp came from such unassuming little islands in such unassuming little seas. People like Dragon, like Portgas D. Ace, like Monkey D. Luffy and Revolutionary Sabo–) 

“Okay,” he said. Standing with a clap to get the boys’ attention, he pointed towards the hatch leading below deck. “Time for all of you to head down.” The boys frowned, tilting their heads in near-perfect synchronization that would have been hilarious if Ryū didn't need to put his foot down. 

“For what?” Sabo asked. Barely a second passed before the smaller blond was narrowing his eyes in suspicion, already glancing over the eldest with a critical eye. “Is something wrong?” 

Now all of the boys were staring. Even Luffy looked alert, expression becoming more and more intense the longer Ryū failed to immediately respond. “It’s nothing serious,” He eventually continued, waving a hand dismissively. Neither of the older siblings even twitched, for all that Luffy instantly relaxed. Sabo in particular looked… less than comforted– which was fair, at that point. Ryū raised both hands in surrender, chuckling beside himself. “Really, it’s nothing huge. No one is going to die.” _Well,_ he paused, considering, _unless Garp… actually does catch us._ They didn't know when Garp was next going to visit, just that it was bound to happen eventually, with how many months had passed on Dawn. So far they had gotten lucky, but he be anywhere in East Blue. It would be so easy to accidentally cross paths, to be recognized– 

Ryū swallowed thickly, hoping he didn't look as faint as he abruptly felt. “....but we really should get a head-start,” he continued quickly. 

While none of them looked reassured, the glaring was more confused now than anything. 

Ryū could see the exact moment that Luffy understood what he meant. His youngest brother’s eyes were practically sparkling when he turned them on him. “You’re gonna _rocket_ us?!” He squealed excitedly. 

The alarmed look Sabo shot him over Luffy’s head almost made Ryū choke. 

“I’m going to use my devil fruit to give us a bit of a boost,” he elaborated quickly, just as Ace jumped to his feet. “Just enough to get farther from Dawn, before they send someone. Or before Garp comes to visit.” They all shuddered, taking a moment to consider the consequences named Garp. Even Luffy looked a little pallid. 

Snapping out of their collective quiet, Ace frowned. “Why do we gotta go below deck though?” It made perfect sense why they’d want a head start. There was no reason they couldn’t watch, was there? “Luffy looks fine.”

Their smallest brother was bouncing in place, almost knocking himself off his own feet with the force of it. “It was so cool,” he whispered, “Ryū-nii put his hands up, an’ then it was like _Fwoosh! Bang!_ And we were _flying_ , Ace! All the way across the ocean!” 

“...he’s more than fine.”

Ryū sighed. He doubted Ace nor Sabo would take the truth anywhere as well as Luffy did— if they accepted it at all. It took most of his energy just pacing the boys’ sensitivity training as it was. Neither of them allowed a single day to go by without arguing they could do more than they were ready, and he doubted this would be an exception. 

It would still be better than lying, though. He’d already done enough of that today. “It takes a lot of firepower to move a ship,” he explained, occupying himself with lowering the sails to avoid staring them down. “This isn’t a _huge_ ship, but I’m still going to have to throw a lot more flames than either of you are ready for just yet.” Despite all his efforts, predictably neither of them looked pleased. He held up a hand before Ace could even start. “No. It’s _really_ too much. And don’t tell me Luffy did it, because he was on the other side of the ship and wasn’t looking.” He doubted even Luffy, little courageous and headstrong Luffy, was quite prepared to deal with a literal long term explosion right in front of him— and he was the best off of them so far, trauma wise. 

It barely gave the boys pause. “So why can’t we do that?” Sabo protested. Ryū frowned but his younger brother wasn’t ready to give up just yet. “We shouldn’t have to go below deck! We can go to the head of the ship n’ everything!” Ace nodded frantically in agreement, lips tightly pressed together. “We can handle a little fire,” Sabo declared, “we won’t even— we just won’t look.” His voice trailed off a little uncertainly at the end, but a glance at Ace had him fired right back up. 

Ryū leaned on his new pipe, humming quietly. _Why did I have to have such stubborn brothers?_ He mourned internally. A voice that sounded suspiciously like koalas called him a hypocrite in the back of his head— a voice he dutifully ignored. Luckily, the boys all went silent when he scrutinized them closely. 

“...if I let you stay outside,” he started, voice quiet and serious, “you _will_ listen to me.” He held up a hand to halt any protest before it could begin, unsure if the new offense was over being told to listen or from Ryū knowing they wouldn’t. Not that it mattered. They just needed to follow directions, this once. “We’re on the open ocean, now— and until you three catch your sea legs, it’s for all of our safety that you follow what I say. If I let you all stay above deck, right now, I don’t want to hear any sass.” 

He eyed the boys carefully, a mixture of mortified and relieved to see them shrink in acquiescence. _I can’t believe this is actually working. I’m starting to think it would stop being surreal to be acting like the biggest sibling. I’m going to get major whiplash, the next time I visit Ace’s grave._ The usual pain at thinking of Ace was sudden and quick, almost ripping the air from his chest. 

Outwardly, his only tell was the aborted twitch of his hand towards his chest. Quiet, contained, and unnoticed. 

_When I wake up,_ Ryū reminded himself, quiet and heated, _I’m going to lose all of this. I can't let myself drift off just because I have a good dream– even if it’s a really, really long one._

Still, unease rippled through him like cold blood in his veins. The worry from before hadn't done more than shrink back into the background– like a pulsing headache threatening to turn into a migraine. He had never been good at quantifying his actions. Koala was also there to keep him in line when he couldn't do it himself. Always curbed, always caught. But Koala wasn't here, and neither was Dragon– or even his actual Luffy, who could always give it straight to him. 

Ryū was on his own. That was starting to become more and more terrifying, the longer the worry persisted– and he didn't know _why._

Three pairs of wide eyes looked up at him. _I don't have time to be thinking about this right now,_ he snarled internally, forcefully slamming the door on his thoughts. _I can have a crisis later, when I’m not in the middle of a goddamn conversation._ “Luffy,” he said, and the boys all slapped to attention even when only one of them was addressed, “Do you remember where I threw that rope earlier?” 

“Yea, by the mast, I think…”

“Grab it for me, will you? Without stretching, I don't want you to go overboard.” With their youngest off to grab said rope, Ryū carefully sat down to better face Ace and Sabo evenly. “I’m going to have to tie you all to the ship,” he warned. “If I don't, there’s a good chance at least one of you will fly overboard– and I won’t be able to get you out without drowning us both.” Both boys nodded, expressions smoothing into seriousness that was far too cute on his hot-headed brothers’ faces. 

Luffy trotted back to his side, passing him the rope and Ryū softened when ruffling his hair in thanks gifted him a sunny little giggle. All three of them followed after him as he stood to walk to the front of the ship. “Where d’ya want to be anchored?” he asked, directing the question towards Ace first. His eldest-little brother hummed in thought even as he obediently stepped closer to allow Ryū to tie the rope securely around him, looping from his middle and over his shoulders tightly. 

“The mast,” Sabo blurted out. 

“Hey, he asked me! What if I want the railing?” 

Sabo shot his brother an incredulous look. “What if it breaks?” He countered. “I bet’cha Luffy could snap these if he hit ‘em right, an’ you’re bigger than him.” Ryū snickered, not even bothering to try to stop when Ace glared at him. “See, Even Ryū-nii agrees with me!” 

“He’s got a point,” Ryū allowed. Not that Ace didn't know that– he’d had enough moments of stupid actions that could have been prevented if he just listened to Sabo. It was a little harder to be stubborn over it, with an actual adult here to back his brother up. 

Still scowling half-heartedly, Ace turned and stomped over to the mast just to hide the blush he could feel heating his ears. “Fine.” Ryū just laughed at him, the bastard. 

Luckily, there was enough rope to loop the mast several times. Ryū tucked and knotted it firmly, testing the ends carefully. Without him needing to ask, three pairs of eyes were pinned to his hands and he slowed his movements to allow them to follow better. “Sailing is a thousand little things,” He commented idly. “First-hand experience is all that will really give you everything you need. Lucky for you, we won't be leaving East Blue for a while yet.” Luffy groaned loudly at that. “Don't give me that, It’s a weak sea, but a weak sea for a baby pirate!” 

“Only _Luffy_ is a baby,” Ace argued. Luffy turned on him with all the intent of an upset puppy and Ryū had to lunge to snag him before he could throw himself at his older brother and likely knock both of them, if not also Sabo, straight overboard. Ace only looked on with the most obnoxiously smug expression Ryū had ever seen. He didn't even twitch to defend himself. 

_Both my biggest saving grace and my worst nightmare,_ Ryū realized with despair, _Is Luffy’s inability to aim._

“Hey now,” was he sweating? He was definitely sweating. His heart was going to leap out of his chest if he had to spend all his time corralling his three feisty little brothers away from the ocean. “Let’s not do a whole lot of ‘sparring’ at least for the first weeks sailing, yeah?” With Luffy still tucked into his arms, it was easy work to anchor him the same way he did Ace. If he had a free hand to help Sabo with his make-do vest too, he’d have three of the world’s most troublesome ducklings on a lead. As it was, Sabo just primly trotted after them with the most self-satisfied look on his face. 

_Thank God we have so much rope… I wonder if Outlook would see it, if I sent a thank you letter back to whoever we stole this from._ They had lengths and lengths of it– more than enough to double, triple, quadruple loop the ends of each boys’ rope around the mast. “I don’t think this will snap,” He reassured, tugging on the makeshift anchor. _They had life rafts right? I doubt any of the sailors in Goa were users, but…_ “But if it does, yell for me and I’ll cut the power immediately.” Three little affirmative nods, firm and determined, hands white-knuckled on their leads, and Ryū stepped back towards the tail-end of the ship. 

A passing glance back showed all three of them watching him intently. _Goddammit, I knew it._ “Sabo! Ace!” He called, and both of them startled as they were caught. “Watch the front of the ship, I need you to tell me where I’m going.” He got a scowl for it, but neither complained, thankfully. Luffy was more excited by the thought of watching them fly again to bother staring at him anymore– which really should have prickled less, honestly, what was he _doing?_

Shaking the thoughts off, he slid below deck and made for the first map he could see, mounted carefully on the far wall. _I haven't been to East Blue in a while now,_ he reminded himself, skimming the islands carefully, _and everything could very well be completely different right now. Both because I'm dreaming of the past and because anything could change in a dream._ Which was a terrifying thought, actually– he had been stationed in the upper half of the Grandline for the past half of a decade now. His subconscious could easily slip in some Grandline weather they absolutely were not ready for. _I really gotta find a life-saver. They've gotta be somewhere, even if this is a weak sea…!_

 _If not, it’d be the very first thing I buy. After food, and water._ He paused. _...And a log pose. Blasting ourselves across the ocean is not exactly navigation. I should really get some new clothes too– ones not so obviously Goa’s noble-garb._ He missed his old coat and vest, and boots, and– well, everything. It had been a lot more frustrating than clothes ever had a right to be, the first time he bought some new garments to replace his explosion-ripped fraying outfit. 

The silence in the cabin was stifling. _There’s…. A lot to do, actually._

But it wasn't the time to worry about it, not just yet. He needed to take a page out of Luffy’s book, sometimes– the Revolutionary Army had really fine-tuned the need to be careful and precise as best they could in him. 

Sabo was already holding his hands out even before he was even fully back on deck. “Can’t argue with that,” Ryū teased. “Think you’re up for it?” He got a glare for it, but the question was genuine– if Sabo needed to pause to breath, or started to panic, they’d both lose the map and he wouldn’t have a free hand to anchor himself properly. Regardless, Sabo only nodded, determinedly hooking an arm around Ace’s for the older to better secure him. Luffy had practically become one with the mast. _Did I even need ropes?_ Ryū wondered, raising an eyebrow at just how many times Luffy managed to tangle his own limbs around the mast. With his wrists so tied up, he doubted even a particularly hard jerk would dislodge him– especially not with how Ace’s free hand was white-tight in his shirt. 

_They’ll be fine. That’s never changed, whether I’m here or not._

* * *

“All ready?” From where they stood on the other side of the ship, it was hard to get a good glimpse of his oldest brother. They were all pinned pretty tightly by the mast- not that they honestly minded as much as they probably should have. The pressure of the ropes along was calming, when it only reminded them they were safe rather than bound. 

It didn't hurt that this far away from Ryū, all they could feel was ocean spray and salty wind. Not a hint of orange or red, not a flash of expanding hot air or searing pain. It was just them and the ocean. That could never be a bad thing. 

“We’re good!” Ace shouted. “Hurry up! We’re gonna miss lunch!” 

Sabo snickered at the distant grumbled _“‘gonna miss lunch,’ he says…”_ and looked down at the map in his hands. Even slightly crinkled at the edges from his grip, the words and images were clear and crisp. “Start by the far… right?” He ordered, eyebrows scrunching. “The next island is fairly close, but we need to turn!” 

“Gotcha!” Almost immediately, Sabo nearly lost the map at the boat _jerked._ “Hold on!” 

“To _what?!”_ Sabo shrieked, voice pitching as the floor seemed to lurch under his feet. Ace tugged him back until he was firmly pressed against the mast, the seriousness in his brother’s eyes freezing the air in his lungs before it could escape too fast. Neither of them said a thing– even Luffy’s whoop of excitement was lost to the wind as their ship began to rocket forward. But at least like this, crowded up close to his brothers, it was easier to dissociate from the familiar roar of flames just behind them. To pretend he wasn't so– so _close_ to what had taken everything from him. `

The constant pressure at his side tightened to a point of pain. Sabo gasped, mind reeling as he was jerked out of his mind in time for water to slap him right across the jaw. His mouth was full of salt– hair wet and clothes uncomfortably clinging– but he was more aware to feel it. Ace’s grip loosened and Sabo mustered up the energy to manage a smile despite himself. “T-thanks,” he croaked. He was sure Ace couldn't have heard it. The wind was far too much, screaming by both their ears, louder than even the fire he had sworn was so loud– but Ace smiled back and squeezed his arm as if he had heard it all the same. 

“I can see it!” Luffy suddenly was shrieking, right in his ears– “I see land!” Against Sabo’s back, his arms were practically vibrating with excitement. “Ryū! Go faster, There’s land–!” They could tell the moment the words reached Ryū, with how the boat went from skipping waves to just bustling forward. “Aw, come on!” 

Sabo exhaled shakily. It took him a moment to get his limbs to respond, as pale and lightheaded as he was, but Ace wordlessly pushed him upright and he stumbled up to the railing all the same. Without the heat and pressure of Ryū’s firepower– or, at least, the worst of it– the glide across the water was rather peaceful. From the nose of the ship, Sabo could see blue in every direction. Could hear the birds and the breeze again, the baby splashes of waves against the ship’s hull. Every pull of air he managed, deeper and deeper, tasted like salt. 

The constant stench of High Town, of the Grey Terminal– every heady perfume and artificial cologne, every overpoweringly flowery smell of flowers, and trash, and disgusting people– was washed away in the face of the ocean. 

“Wow…” Ace whispered. They had lapsed into silence so easily, for all of their excitement and panic otherwise. Even Luffy had fallen quiet, his eyes pinned to the horizon. 

“This is the first time you guys have left Dawn.” Ryū walked to the rail beside them, absentmindedly shaking his hands out as if to cool them down. When he smiled down at them, it was full of unbridled glee, giddy with contentment. “Feels good, doesn't it?” His eyes were so distant, where he swept them across the world. “You have the entire ocean to explore,” He said quietly, pressing an ungloved hand to Sabo’s shoulder. “To do whatever you will.” A pained expression crossed his face and for a moment and Sabo was nearly breathless with the weight of it. At his side, Ace’s hand twisted painfully tight into his coat. 

“Wouldn't that be nice?” Ryū murmured, and when he walked away to set up an anchor Sabo took several minutes to breathe properly. 

* * *

“Look, they have a whole town here!” Luffy pointed out, almost tripping flat on his face in his rush to scramble onto the tiny port Ryū had saddled their boat up against. “Can we go explore?!” 

Ryū glanced up from where he was carefully tying their ship to the walkway, keeping a careful eye on Luffy as he bounced about the wharf. “Yeah,” He said, and chuckled when Ace and Sabo both turned on him in shock. “What? This isn’t Dawn, you don't have a reputation here for being the troublemakers you are. No one here should bother you, as long as you don't bother them– don't pick fights, and you probably won't find one.” 

Not that Ryū actually believed that for a second– he was sure they'd figure out some way to get in trouble. He just couldn't guarantee the inevitable would be because of other people, rather than Luffy bouncing off a cliff, or Ace picking a fight with an animal too big, or Sabo stealing eggs from some giant bird and nearly getting them all carried off. “Just let me know when you’re going somewhere far, and meet me back here when it’s dark or you need help.” 

The boys exchanged an excited grin and Ryū wondered if he should be worried. 

* * *

“Thank you for using our service!” The appraiser called after him, waving pleasantly.

Ryū only smiled back, carefully folding cash into his pockets as he stepped out of the shop. So far, he had had easy luck. It was a surprise to find any sort of exchange system available for such a small town– but for once Goa gave him an advantage of supporting surrounding islands in its trade routes. 

_I have enough money to restock, and to get a decent log pose to replace Koala’s._ It was a little frustrating, knowing Koala’s log pose didn't follow him into his dreams– took him forever just to properly clear all the little half-melted shards of glass and wood splinters from his inner pocket. Not that he was all too worried about prices. Though the Revolutionary had left a bad taste in his mouth, stealing from normal, average people, he wouldn't have hesitated if it came down to that. No amount of group rhetoric and lessons could ever erase growing up on thievery. 

He was worried for nothing, honestly… It wasn't as if he didn't still have all the money left from selling every foragable they could find, back in Goa– and stealing a boat over buying one saved even more. Not even all of their monstrous appetites could cripple them, could they? 

Ryū sighed, absent-mindedly scanning the shops. _I’m surprised I haven't run into the boys yet,_ he thought, pausing momentarily, _Do I check on them? I should probably check on them, that’s what you do with kids right?_ They were strong enough to handle most problems, but… He closed his eyes and flared his haki wide. 

Three bright, unmistakable little auras blipped up on his radar like stars in the distance, rapidly shooting his way. 

He was already haphazardly stuffing the last berries into his pockets just as Ace skidded around a corner— Sabo popping out after him hot on his heels. Ryū barely needed haki to warm him when Luffy flew into view, tripping hard enough to bounce against the pavement and into Ryū's legs. 

“We gotta go!” Sabo yelled, catching his breath quickest enough to speak. He barely jerked away in time to avoid Ace’s fist flying out to cuff him. 

“We can take em!” 

Luffy wrapped around Ryū’s shin tightly. “Ace best up a buncha people again!” He complained, “I told him the bar wouldn’t be fun, but—!” 

“Shut up Lu! They’re weak—“

“If this is what it’s gonna be like every time we hit land we’re gonna have a talk,” Ryū cut in warningly. All three boys finally went quiet, swallowing nervously. 

The mob was closing in, and, cowed, not even Ace protested as Ryū pushed them behind him. “Get back to the ship,” he ordered casually, “I’ll hear what you three caused when we don’t have half the town after us.” Two distinctive pairs of feet raced in the direction of the docks, only to stop when they realized Ace hasn’t budged. His eyes hadn’t moved from the approaching crowd. Ryū couldn’t help the exasperated noise that hissed out from between his teeth. 

“You know I won’t,” Ace muttered darkly. 

Ryū did know. He also knew it was what took Ace, in the end, before he could ever meet the bastard again. 

The mob was getting closer. Ryū didn't doubt Ace actually could fight a bunch of random people and win– but he also didn't care in the slightest. “You’re right,” he said. Ace’s head snapped up to him in shock, glare swallowed by surprise. For once, Ryū didn't care what look might have been on his face. It didn't matter. What did matter, was one stubborn little brother and his stupid, idiot, frustrating need to constantly prove himself– “I think you _can_ take all of them,” He said, and Ace went _tense_. 

He had nothing else he could really do but screech when Ryū promptly scooped him up, throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. A squirming one, who threatened to stab him. _“However!”_ He yelled, over the screaming, and could hear the mob slowing to a stop in confusion. _Perfect_. “I _also_ think that it would be a _waste of time!”_

Ryū shot down the street like a bullet, calmly humming Bink’s Sake the entire way just to drown out Ace’s yelling. 

* * *

“I’m serious,” Ryū said, gently bopping each of his little brother’s over the head to make sure they were listening. “I’m gonna be pissed if even one of you tries to pick a fight again! There’s a hundred things to do that _don't_ involve trying to fist-fight some stranger just because you feel like it!” 

The last island wasn’t hard to leave, nor was the next to find– but the boys took precisely 40 minutes to get into trouble. Ryū didn't even have a chance to ever find a new log pose, or restock them on food. “We’re all lucky Luffy stole so much from High Town,” He continued in exasperation, “But it’s all gone now and we need to restock before one of you can find a reason to start a riot.” Luffy was still pouting, annoyed he had to share his “treasure”. On the bright side, it was all that was currently making Ace and Sabo feel remotely any remorse, so he’d take his wins where he could. 

“We won't pick a fight unless it’s necessary,” Sabo promised. 

“I don't trust what you three might quantify as “necessary”,” Ryū pointed out, “If I even think you’re starting trouble, I’m going to start making you tag along with me and not run off on your own.” It was clearly a good threat– earning him identical disgruntled expressions. He was not about to be deterred with any argument (he carefully did not look at Luffy’s puppy eyes, or Ace’s pout, or Sabo’s rather obnoxiously raised eyebrow). “Yeah, that's right, I catch you three causing an island-wide emergency and you get to hang out with _me_ all day and do _gross important stuff_ like _buying things we need_ and _dealing with money!”_

“...We’ll be good,” Ace muttered, eyes darting to the side. 

“We’ll come find you this time, if something goes wrong,” Sabo added on, and Ryū huffed, arms crossed pointedly until they all were nodding in agreement. 

Sighing, he allowed his shoulders to slump. “Good.” Ace dodged uselessly away from his hand when he leaned forward, ruffling his hair roughly. Despite his frown, grey eyes finally met his and Ace relaxed visibly when Ryū smiled at him. “Don't get caught, this time, and meet me back here before dark if I don't come get you.” 

The boys nodded, excitement filling them like balloons. Ryū waited until they ran off the docks towards this island’s little town before shaking his head ruefully. _At least now I know better than to not be worried._

* * *

He should have done more than just worry. 

* * *

Ryū stared incredulously. 

“Are you three kidding?” He asked. Sabo and Ace both twitched at the sheer bewilderment in his voice, but Luffy just continued to beam. He couldn't even hear it yet, but Ryū was all too aware of the crowd of auras steadily rampaging towards them. _“Marines? Really?”_ To be fair, he hadn't even known there were marines on this island. There weren’t in the real world after all– he wasn't entirely sure if there was even a town on such a tiny island, in the waking world. “What were you trying to even do?” 

“He tried to grab Luffy,” Ace defended. Sabo nodded, but Ryū wasn't convinced. Luffy was still startlingly radiant, for apparently being assaulted. 

Sure enough– “He said we were trasping!” Luffy announced cheerfully. Ryū didn't even have the energy to correct what he was sure Luffy _really_ meant–

“Were you?” He asked imploringly. 

“There were no signs,” Sabo tried, but quickly backed up with a nervous laugh when Ryū shot him a look. “There _weren’t!”_

Footsteps thundered closer. Luffy laughed as the ground vibrated under them, rocking on his heels as if trying to ride the tremors. Ryū didn't even have to ask just how many guards they managed to piss off– he could feel it. In more way than one. “You didn't just trespass,” He said. It wasn't a question in the slightest. 

“Ace punched the guy in the big coat.” 

“Sabo was throwing papers out all the windows.”

“I ate all their food!” 

A bullet dashed the gravel by Ryū’s foot and he cursed a blue streak, scooping all three boys into his arms. “Cover your faces,” He hissed, “and I swear to god, if any of you complain–” Ace’s jaw snapped shut with an audible click as Ryū gave him a _look_. “–when I said we were gonna go train against other people, that wasn't a free ticket to go harass random marine bases before you're ready!” Luffy only laughed and Ryū hissed in annoyance when a bullet tore straight through his calf. “Is this what it’s going to be like?” He asked mournfully. 

“Shishi!! Next time, you should come with us!” 

Another shot caught Ryū’s hair tie, spilling his curls directly into his eyes. He just kept running, ignoring how Sabo reached back to hold his hair out of his face in favor of running faster. He was not awake enough to deal with this for a second time. 

“Stop! Those children are–” 

“Hey! On account of the government–” 

Ryū was so tired. 

_“Is this what it’s going to be like?!”_

* * *

“Don't give me that look. I wasn't lying last time. Now let’s go buy some new clothes, since you three decided to use almost all of yours to make a giant flag we don't even need.” 

“We’re pirates though Ryū-nii! We need a flag!” 

_“A pirate crew is not one older brother and three children!”_

* * *

(He was never going to have anything for respect for Old Man Whitebeard after this. He was going to visit his grave and pour one out for him, because knowing his entire crew was at some point him and three children made Ryū want to take a coma of a nap.) 

* * *

“After what happened last time, I think we’re gonna stop on the next island for a bit to do some old-style training. Clearly, all three of you need a touch up on practicing haki if you think you can handle a bullet to the gut.” 

Sabo groaned loudly, falling to the deck in a dramatic heap. “Are we really still so bad?” He asked mournfully, “Haki training is almost as bad as Gramps’ was…” he could hear Luffy and Ace just murmuring in agreement. “I mean, can't we just–” Sabo sat up only to freeze midsentence. 

Ryū was pale as a sheet, staring at him like a deer in the headlights. 

“R-Ryū?” Sabo started, catching both his brother’s attention. All three of them sat up, watching as Ryū slowly blinked out of his statuesque haze. “What’s wrong?” Sickness churned tight in his gut, cold and violent. What happened? Did we miss something, did he– is he okay–?

“Oh my god,” Ryū started, voice hoarse as if his throat had closed around the words, “I haven't called Garp.” 

The boys all went white. 

* * *

It had been long enough. 

Ryū stared down the snail. 

A few weeks on the water had gotten them a decent distance from Dawn island. Stopping to get supplies had been quick and easy with the boys agreeing to stay on the ship for the first run– meaning they got even farther away faster. 

All three boys sat on the bed behind him. None of them had said a word since Ryū had first sat down at his desk, but he could feel how tense they all were even without looking. Their stares were practically solid on his back. Sabo, in particular, looked vaguely nauseous even knowing that none of them expected him to say anything. 

All of them looked as uncomfortable as Ryū felt. 

Ryū stared down the snail. 

He reached forward and dialed a familiar number. 

“Hello! Vice Admiral Garp speaking!” The booming voice made all of them twitch, Ryū wincing away from the receiver. His ears were ringing, both from the painful volume blasting through the den-den and the memories of when he last heard that voice. A phantom pain tingled through his head and he caught himself before he could raise his free hand to rub at his skull. _Oh God._ Abruptly frozen with indecision, Ryū just opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. 

“Is anyone there? Hey!” 

Luffy suddenly threw himself into Ryū’s back, forcing the man to scramble to catch his littlest brother before he bounced onto the floor. “Hey, Gramps!” He screamed. 

_“Luffy?!_ Is that you?!” 

“G-Gramps!” Ace blurted out, flailing to dash over to the desk. He only managed to trip over Sabo, who squawked and nearly toppled off the bed himself. “I-I mean– shit, _ow,_ Sabo!”

“It’s not my fault you tried to jump off like that! You nearly broke my nose doing that, idiot!” 

_“HEY!”_ Everyone in the room flinched, swinging back to attention with backs ramrod straight. 

Except for Luffy, who had quickly rushed to anchor himself, winding his limbs firmly around Ryū in order to reach the snail himself. _“Hi Gramps!”_ He called again cheerfully. “We’re calling to say hi–” 

“Tell him ‘And to say we’re fine!’”

“–and to say we’re fine!!!”

The snail scowled in an impressive attempt at Garp’s darkest glare. “Luffy,” The old marine started slowly, “Would you like to tell your _dear old Grandpa_ where and how you three got a den-den mushi from, and why you’re using it?” 

“I _just_ told you though!” Luffy pouted as Ryū finally shucked him off, plucking him up and just holding him in his lap like a misbehaving kitten. “Ryū! I was just telling him–” 

“Ryū-nii-chan is going to handle the phone calls now, Luffy,” Ryū said steadily. He ignored Luffy’s whine and gently deposited him into Ace’s arms. He knew without even looking, based on the annoyed yelp and squeal behind him, that the elder brother had immediately began fiercely noogying him. Refocusing back on the snail phone, he tried not to curse at the snail’s impressive rendition of Garp’s pointed scrutinization. _Snails don't even have eyebrows. This is frankly unfair._

“So, _Ryū_ ,” Garp began, and Ryū did not mistake the calm tone for anything resembling real calm. “Would you like to tell me why and where you have _my grandsons?”_

Ryū was _sweating._

_It’s a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream and I'm hundreds of miles away and he doesn't know where…_

“Unfortunately, no,” He eventually answered. The snail’s face turned furious so quickly Ryū almost choked some the sheer concentrated murderous intent. “But–” he cut in quickly, “I _can_ tell you, and _they_ can tell you, that they are perfectly _safe_ and _happy_. They'll stay that way too.” The cold sweat gathering on his back faded a little as said safe and happy children all loudly agreed behind him. “We’re only calling to give you a heads up that they're no longer on Dawn Island; for their own good.” The snail frowned, but so much less of it was directed at Ryū that he nearly sighed in relief. “No one will find them for a while yet. I'm going to keep them safe.” 

“Were gonna get stronger with Ryū-nii, Gramps!” Luffy shouted. He pouted when both his brothers hushed him worriedly. “What? It’s true!” 

The snail was quiet for a long moment. Ryū startled and nearly crunched his desk to pieces when it abruptly burst out laughing. The _“BWAHAHAHA!”_ near immediately kickstarted his growing headache into a migraine. “Stronger huh?!? So your grandpa wasn't _enough_ for you brats?!” He cackled ominously. “We’ll see about that!” (Sabo shuddered, nearly confusing himself for his reaction due to not having any clearer memory of Garp’s _training_ beyond his body’s instinctive reaction to his voice. His head ached with the phantom pain of a fist to the skull.) Ryū was turning m. ore than a little drawn-out and pale.

“Listen here brat,” Garp said again, quieter this time, and Ryū started. “I don't know who you are, or how you found out about my kids. Luffy can't lie for his life, so I’ll trust you this once, _But–!”_ Ryū blinked, startled by the seemingly easy acceptance. The snail glowered at him. “If I hear you turn out to be another damn criminal like that Shanks brat, if I hear my boys being laid _wayside_ by you,” The den-den smiled at him and Ryū carefully kept his hands off any breakable furniture, swallowing thickly, “Then I'll snap you clean in my hands! _Bwahahaha!”_

Snickering, the snail slid its eyes shut. “Stay safe, boys,” It said softly. Ryū instinctively activated armament all the way up to his elbows when the snail shot him a smugly hostile look. “Don't think you're off the hook! I’ll be keeping an eye out, of course!” 

_Click._

For a moment, all four of them just stared blankly at the snail. 

Then Ryū sighed, finally collapsing in his chair and slinging an arm over his face. “...Lunch?” He asked, feeling more exhausted than he had in weeks. 

The boys still had the energy to cheer _yes_ and swamp him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter before this fic goes on a bit of a hiatus for the winter. We're hibernating this fic, folks 
> 
> im too busy to put as much time into chapters as I want to need to compared to the first majority i wrote over the summer, and I need to have time to actually just sit down and write the next parts without rushing because of deadlines. 
> 
> I wanted to avoid any hiatus, but uploads are taking longer and longer so its better i take a break and make better content in the spring. Thank you for supporting this fic so far, its gotten bigger than i expected and the feedback has been fantastic! (this got 1k hits in 3 weeks without me touching it and let me tell you how nice that feels as a smaller author) 
> 
> this fic is Not Abandoned, and i will still be active on my smaller stories that dont take the same level of careful attention. 
> 
> Remember to check my tumblr, [Leviathiane](https://leviathiane.tumblr.com) for future updates!
> 
> 12/7/19 - basic clarity edit, spacing


	12. Recognition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys land on Cocoyashi.

He realized much later than he preferred (and not for the first time) that he shouldn’t be so relaxed. The phone call by all intents and purposes had gone pretty smoothly. Ryū had honestly half expected to somehow be clocked through the den-den. You really learned what was possible, when dealing with Garp, and Ryū wasn't comforted by the state of his reality. (After all, being in a dream just meant whatever crazy thing he could imagine Garp doing likely would. He wasn’t ready to jinx himself that badly. It had been an act of preemptive safety procedure, blanking himself of all thoughts of Garp immediately after the call ended.) 

“You know,” Ryu started, biting the bullet, “I’m kind of surprised Garp didn't recognize me.” 

Maybe it was the question. Maybe it was his tone. Maybe it was that he was so taken aback that he stopped eating– but all three boys immediately turned to look up at him. “Isn’t that… what’s supposed to happen?” Sabo asked hesitantly. 

As far as he was concerned, the fact that Garp didn’t recognize Ryū was a great thing. He had honestly wished Garp hadn’t recognized him either. If they ever met the guy in person— and Sabo was pretty convinced they would at some point, he was still visibly having trouble processing that anything that had been involved in raising Luffy and Ace could be a  _ marine _ — he would know instantly that Sabo didn’t  _ know  _ him. 

Maybe he wouldn’t recognize him at all. “It’s not like he knows you?” Something about that made him wince and he wasn’t even sure why.  _ (He recognized my voice, in the call. He laughed, and  _ wasn’t angry, _ and didn't yell at us. Even a marine cares more about my dreams than my parents did.) _

Ryū didn’t ask him. Sabo hadn't yet gotten a firm enough grasp on what would  _ really _ hide what he thought. Someone less experienced wouldn’t have noticed, but to Ryū his discomfort showed clearly on his face.  _ Will have to tackle that later. That look is never a kind one. _

The more pressing issue was still– as always– Garp. Occupied with his thoughts, he just hummed as he absently kept eating. _ Right. He wouldn't know me, would he? This is not  _ my _ Garp. This is Dream Garp, Past-Dream-Garp, so...  _

It was... surprisingly uncomfortable to think that by all intents and purposes he was a stranger in Garp’s eyes. It wasn't a reaction he expected out of himself. He had barely thought of Garp with anything more than anger and grief since Ace– since– 

He had just stood there and  _ watched Ace die. _ Crying could never make up for that. What were some tears, compared to the blood that his brother had spilled? Ryū couldn’t hope to forgive him. He couldn’t even consider it, couldn't let  _ forgive _ and  _ Garp _ cross the same thoughts without needing to break and burn. The heat always flared up in him so easily when he thought of Garp. 

(That same fire was… surprisingly absent, now that he thought about it. He hadn’t felt even a lick of flame during the call. Maybe it was because having Ace, even in his dream, soothed his grief, but– Ryū couldn't help but feel like he had been cheated, somehow. Like a wick deprived abruptly of air.)

(Maybe  _ Ace _ forgave Garp. The idea only made Ryū want to either laugh or cry, and neither one was going to exist without the other close in tow. He didn’t have time for hysteria. Not with three little brothers all relying on him to be the mature one.) 

He barely called the old man Grandpa as it was but now that slip up could really cost him. 

It still didn’t explain why he wasn’t recognized at all though. Maybe not as family, but as a  _ criminal?  _ As a dangerous revolutionary, who all but kidnapped the man’s grandkids and ran off to teach them piracy? Ryū doubted that there was no government awareness of him at all. Even if they were still in the East Blue. _ No, that makes no sense. Even in a dream, shouldn’t he–  _ “You three said my name, over the phone call,” He reminded them. “He knows my name, knows I’m with you three– any description the marines must have fished up for us should match up for him. Garp should be aware of who I am, even if it’s not as his grandkid or the revolutionary.” He should know something, anything. “There’s no way I, at least, don’t have a bounty already set for me?” 

“We wouldn't know,” Ace said truthfully, face twisting in confused unease. Besides Luffy, none of them looked comfortable with the idea of the government feigning ignorance– but Ace looked  _ sick.  _

Ryū stopped pressing. This wasn’t a concern he should be sharing with kids. Even monster children, who could take down tigers on their own and last against him for at least a few minutes. Was he really that bad at this? He didn't exactly interact with a lot of the children, who stayed with the army, and even then they had all been leagues ahead of normal children in maturity– 

(Maybe if he just thought about it all hard enough, the Koala in his head would smack him for it until it made sense.) 

With the sight of islands in the distance, the topic was easily dropped. 

* * *

The town was half a wasteland. Ryū could  _ feel _ the people there. Enough to exceed the tiny town of Fushia twice over. But they were all huddled and silent in their houses, as if the outdoors were a death sentence. He half expected to find the windows all boarded up. 

(it was a sight he was used to. It was discomforting to see it so soon. They hadn’t even left the Blues.) 

The dock was even  _ worse,  _ somehow. It was clearly in use– the wood well worn. Even for a small smattering of islands, the harbor was absent of ships. No trading vessels, no people– not a single sign of activity. No fishing lines or cages waiting to be sunk. Not even any pirates. Not even a tiny rowboat for a lone fisherman. All that was left were fraying ropes attached to the various rotting moorings. All the signs of people without any of _ use. _

The boys didn't seem to question it at all. It wasn’t as if they were around many towns, and this one wasn't like Fuschia  _ or _ Goa. Maybe they took the silence for the standard. Ryū was silent as they leaped off the ship, crowing excitedly as their feet hit the old wood. Always so excited to see land, to explore even such a ghost town– 

Ryū could almost call the atmosphere itself foul. 

_ (It’s the blood, _ he knew instinctively. The stench of old blood stains and gunpowder, the salt of the ocean– the intrinsic knowledge that something  _ wrong _ had happened here.) 

“Don’t stray far,” Ryū warned, and near immediately the auras of the boys shifted. Their posture went unchanged, smiles the same, conversations just as energetic. But Ryū could almost taste the way all three of them seemed to immediately  _ sharpen. _ Attentive and wary, movement halting and gazes darting back towards him with every stride forward. They could handle themselves, and do it well– Ryū had made sure of that– but something about this place made his blood boil. Until he was sure why, he wasn't going to let his guard down. 

Not with three very, very irresponsible little brothers. If he was going to deal with a scale as broad as a bar fistfight to a kingdom’s revolution, it was going to be on  _ his _ terms. Or at least as close to that as he could. Being a Grandline Veteran wasn’t always enough to guarantee control even in the East Blue. 

They had barely stepped onto the soil. Barely even left sight of the dock, before the hair at the back of Ryū’s neck was prickling with the pressure of a stare. Now that he was within better sight of the town, it was easy to see that some people weren't in houses. Or at least,  _ these _ weren’t. 

_ More than one, _ He confirmed,  _ Two, no, three, one of them is armed– _

Ryū froze. 

_ –Two of them are children. _

Luffy’s head snapped up. Without prompting, his eyes seemed to settle on the direction Ryū was openly watching. The two little auras closed in on them, closely followed by an increasingly frenzied adult. Sabo and Ace, at his heels, rapidly darted looks between Ryū and the distance he was staring at– the one Luffy was now staring at himself with an expression intensely out of place for their youngest brother. “Ryū? Lu?” Ace broke the unintended silence, tone betraying his anxiety. “What’s–”

Ryū missed whatever Ace said next. It was weird, to be so on guard outside of the Grandline but there was no ignoring training and instinct drilled into you. The atmosphere, the paranoia– it was unignorable. 

The two smaller children were tugged out of their warpath towards them by the adult. Ryū only allowed his fingers to twitch, but not reach, for his pipe, as an unfamiliar and scarred man stepped out from around the bend of a street corner. Normal human, as far as Ryū could tell. Fairly unremarkable. Just a man as wary of Ryū as Ryū was him. He could respect that. 

“...You shouldn’t be here,” The man said, and Ryū wondered where they had screwed up this time. For once his brothers hadn't even left his sight yet to cause trouble. “If you get caught with those pipes, it won't be pretty. New people aren't taken well.” 

_ By Who, exactly? _ As if reading the look on his face, the little red-headed girl peeked out from around the man to glare at him. Even firmly situated behind him, he could see her straining where the other little girl was no doubt holding her in place. As if she was more than prepared to scrap with a fully grown, armed man. He could respect  _ that _ too, though Koala would smack him for it. “You shouldn’t be here,” She hissed, parroting the adult. At his side, Ryū nearly startled to feel Luffy’s distinctive aura burst with sudden awareness. As if his entire being had zeroed in on the little girl. “We don't want more people here.” 

She seemed to look through them, almost. Gazing out past them and at the ocean with a scowl as if the waves themselves had wronged her. As if any moment now, she expected something horrible to climb dripping out of it to attack them. The anger in her eyes wasn't for him. Not the anger, nor the fear; and there was fear. 

So, so much of it. 

(Blood on her hands, staining even through the bandages. The beginnings of thick calluses, on the exposed tips of what should be child-soft grass-stained fingers. Circles, under those defiant eyes. Things that could be hidden by Ryū’s keen eyes, even under false bravado and behind the stern legs of a clear father figure.)

Ryū did not like what he was seeing. 

He was really beginning to doubt it was the village that was the problem. “We’re not here to cause trouble. Is it okay if we sit and talk about it somewhere safe?”  _ Somewhere out of sight, out of view. _ It was clear just by the way the three refused to step out into the open road that there was something no doubt watching them. Clear that whatever they feared, on the islands, wasn't something they could do more than run and hide from. 

Ace, Sabo, and Luffy, unmoving at his heels, were unnaturally silent. Sabo and Ace had quickly picked up on the inherent wrongness of the town. Ace was surprisingly the one to shift just a little closer– Ryū shouldn't have been as shocked as he was, to see Sabo just tighten his grip on his pipe and square his small shoulders. A memory loss could never change that natural indignation, it seemed. Luffy hadn't lost that intensity. He stood unnervingly still, watching the trio with something like– 

No,  _ not _ the trio. Just the girl. 

(She stared back with nearly the same intensity. A more confused, restrained version of it, and yet there was no discomfort setting her spine. As if their mutual interest was something natural. As if she  _ recognized _ Luffy, from somewhere, somehow. 

It was impossible, but maybe not in a dream– maybe she wasn’t as much a stranger as he was considering her. His subconscious had to have dragged her up from somewhere, even if he wasn’t immediately recalling. Just another little mystery for Ryū to put on the backburner. He could almost taste the answers. Could feel them like a little tickle, at the very back of his throat, like a word he knew and just couldn't remember. It was incredibly infuriating and incredibly _not_ _what he needed to focus on right now–)_

The man grunted. The girls blinked up at him, taken off guard when he waved for everyone to follow him back down the little back-way. “Name’s Genzo,” He murmured, “I’ll take us somewhere quieter.” The two little girls exchanged a look before staring at Ryū, an act he noticed (with only a little amusement and a lot of concern) mirrored his brothers at his hips. A standoff of suspicion half his size. Sabo and Ace both grabbed a fist hold on his coat. Neither moved until Ryū did first. 

Luffy was already darting ahead. Moving without looking back, for once, as if he had caught onto the smoke trails of a meal he knew he couldn’t miss. 

(No, not quite right. That didn’t adequately describe whatever Ryū was seeing— what he wasn’t sure he understood— of a gaze so utterly  _ fixated _ with recognition that Ryū was left on the edge of his wits, on the tips of his toes and a name on the back of his tongue and nowhere in his mind. 

Where had he seen that vibrant orange hair before?) 

Ryū took off after the three strangers, his grip tight enough on his pipe to dent his fingers into the metal. 

* * *

He should have known. Was he the chief of staff for nothing? Intelligence was a part of his job and  _ yet. _

_ “What?” _ Nami snapped, glaring at him. “Stop staring at me.” 

_ I’m too tired for this. _

Great, now everyone was staring at him. Except Luffy. Luffy was still fully focused on his future navigator– and  _ fuck, _ how had he seriously not  _ realized? _ His littlest brother may as well have slapped him with it and he still didn’t put it together. He had no idea how Nami even managed to appear like that, considering that the youngest he had ever seen her was in her earliest bounty posters. Maybe his subconscious had just slapped a random child with orange hair into his dream and given it her name. 

Sabo tugged discreetly on his sleeve and Ryū’s eyes snapped down to his brothers.  _ Oh. I’m still staring _ . 

“...My bad,” he finally muttered. “You reminded me of someone I know.” 

Not  _ technically _ a lie. This Nami wasn’t the Nami he had met. No one, technically, was someone he knew. Ryū needed to just.... bank on that. Channel it until the association was broken along with the awkwardness–  _ adapt, reduce suspicion. _ He  _ didn't _ know this child. It wasn’t a lie. 

_ The child _ turned with a huff, that familiar vivid hair flying with her, and Ryū took a deep breath. He didn't even bother to stop Luffy when he ran outside after her. 

_ It’s not a lie. _

Genzo didn't take his eyes off Ryū to watch them go. Neither, he noticed, did Nojiko. 

Ace, at his hip, nudged at Sabo. Ryū watched them exchange a look he was conflicted to know he couldn't read. A moment later, and Sabo was racing out the door after Luffy. Ace wasn't meeting his eyes. His oldest-little brother squirmed a little under his stare, eyes pinned to the floor, but his hand stayed threaded firmly into Ryū’s sleeve. It wasn’t an act. Ace didn't have it in him to pretend to be cute, but Ryū had never really gotten the chance to see this side of him in reality and _ god damn it _ was it  _ distracting– _ “He’s gonna go make sure Luffy doesn't get into trouble,” he eventually mumbled. 

Ryū let it be. Sabo had been with them long enough to figure out how best to handle Luffy with just as much finesse and grace as the first time around. Despite how he faltered his body always managed to follow through enough to fill in the gaps. (It brought Ryū some hope, but not much. His own memory had been a nebulous thing, half-formed and always out of reach. If Sabo didn’t lunge for it with a grip tight enough to strangle, he wouldn’t catch it. Ryū would rather his brother be happy than–) If nothing broke, no one screamed, and Sabo didn't come get him, they were probably fine. 

...He’d still get up and check in a bit. 

Hopefully, without issue. Nohiko hadn't chased after her sister but looked plenty close to with how pale her knuckles were wrapped around the edge of her seat. Genzo looked seconds from trying to level a gun at him. It only reminded Ryū more of that sick, familiar leaded feeling, layering the lining of his gut.  _ These people are far too wary, and this town far too empty. And I still don't know why, and the boys are all with me. _

(He would not risk them again. Marines were one thing, but marines in the East blue– hell, in  _ any _ Blue, were a joke. Marines could cause unrest, and tension, and have citizens tiptoeing in the dark, but the weighted  _ silence _ of what felt like the entire island was disconcerting. Ryū would sooner bite through a marine’s throat, haki-colored jaws and all, before he would let whatever looming threat on the island get within arms reach of his brothers.) 

(Ryū didn't have time for this. Recon was just a part of his job, waiting and listening was going to be a waste of time when he could just act. Koala would smack him for it– she never approved of a sloppy job. But a sloppy job made in a dreamscape? She’d reprimand him for it, but she’d have to  _ find out _ first.) 

“You can't stay long,” Genzo told him, after the long quiet had settled into something tentative and still– “But I can–  _ where are you going?” _

Ryū smiled disarmingly, flipping his pipe back up into his hand to slot firmly into his belt behind his back. Ace scrambled to his feet after him but Ryū casually pushed him right back down into his now-vacated seat. He got a scowl for it that went completely, happily, ignored. “I'm going to go out for some sunshine,” He said. Both civilians jumped to their feet, eyes wide and alarmed. He didn’t need it, at that point, but the massive red flag managed to reduce his cheerful front just the slightest. “I won’t tell anyone I met you, of course, it’s none of their business– but could you point me the way?” Any which way. Maybe no way at all– Ryū was well established with the method of starting with no starting-line. 

Ace was back on his feet despite Ryū’s efforts. “Wait,” He called. His little hands latched onto Ryū without hesitation and it was only the tight pull on his hand, not the loose fabric of his sleeve or coat, that made Ryū turn at all. “Wait, wait! Let me come with you.” 

_ Absolutely not. _ “Absolutely not.” 

Those startled grey eyes were far too wide, darkened with– something. “You can't just  _ leave _ us here,” He hissed, “Sabo can stay and watch Luffy, but you– you said you wouldn't do this anymore!” The accusation was biting, but Ryū was used to fielding it by that point. 

Ryū wished, with every sleep-addled and delirious bone in his body, that he had no idea what Ace was talking about. Thinking quickly, he dropped to a crouch and pulled Ace in close in a hug. (He was happy to see him only momentarily stiffen. He really was getting better at that.) “Listen to me,” Ryū whispered. Maybe it was the hug, maybe the urgency in his voice, but Ace stilled immediately. “I need to find out what’s going on, and I’ll be most easily hidden alone. I need you to stay and look after your brothers while I’m gone–” Genzo and Nohiko were still standing, when he glanced up through his hair. Standing, but not coming closer. It wasn’t respect. Ryū didn't blame them for listening. Too much paranoia and distrust with nowhere to go. “–them and Genzo’s family. I can only trust this to you, as the oldest– can you do that for me?” 

Ace could be obstinate. Could be pig-headed and selfish and stubborn and self-sacrificing all at once. But if there was one thing being a big brother taught him, it was reliability. 

A short, determined little nod. Almost a twitch against Ryū’s shoulder. “I can do that,” He whispered, just as serious. For all of the tenseness of the situation, Ryū felt remarkably like he was playing a game. “I’ll take care of everybody like you taught us. Sabo n’ I both.” 

Ace reached up, taking advantage of Ryū crouching, and ow, ow,  _ ow, _ hand in his  _ hair– _

“So don't get caught,” Ace hissed, “By whatever you find.” With that, he untangled his hand–  _ haki, _ Ryū noted with no small amount of conflicted pride and confoundment– and plopped back into his chair with an expectant look. Ryū stuck his tongue out at him. It didn't help his dignity or the new throb in his scalp, but it made Ace’s cheeks heat and that was good enough. Had to get his wins where he could. (....and there was no getting frustrated with a request to come back safely. Even tinged with pain it made him warm.)

“I’ll also keep Luffy from eating all their tangerines,” Ace said. Ryū pretended not to hear the frantic “ _ What?!” _ from their stunned hosts as he left. 

It was probably more than a little rude, offloading his brothers off onto what were supposed to be strangers. (it was Nami’s family. His littlest brother’s future navigator, who loved loyally and fiercely and had one of the strongest moral sense close to the Revolutionary’s own. If she loved these people, this makeshift family she had ran to and collected in those callused, worn little fingers– if his Luffy recognized her, dispute through Ryū’s subconscious, in a dream– if his brothers refused to chase after him, because for once they recognized something more  _ important _ than answers–) 

He would let them stay. Ryū didn't need to ask any of them, to know they were set on protecting Nakama.

(...As well as a bonus, that Luffy alone could be distraction enough for Ryū to slip out unhindered. He was special like that.)

It wasn’t a guarantee that answers would be as easy to find. But this was Ryū’s job. Had been for a long time, even before the Revolutionary Army. He was stranded in a ghost town. Hopefully, this time, he would at least be able to explore it without the hyper-aware anxiety of one of his brothers picking a fight– even if there was no one visibly around to pick a fight with. 

There were plenty of people around though. Ryū could  _ feel _ them. They may have crept, lingering in the edges and peripherals like terrified prey animals, but they were all there. Tip-toeing through alleyways and huddled in houses. As he passed, he could recognize the way their auras pressed up against doors and windows, doubtlessly watching him. 

_ These people are terrified.  _

(He wouldn’t waste his time convincing himself that it wasn’t for a good reason. The excuse of the “weakest sea” nor a “dream” could veil the undeniable feeling of  _ wrong _ thickly blanketing the entire town.) 

Ryū wasn't looking for them, though they did paint a more detailed picture with each step. The sheer weight of paranoid caution made his fingers flex in his gloves. No, none of the presences in the town stood out to him. Too small, too scared. Weak and in hiding and so, so  _ normal _ that it took focus to actively parse through them. 

No. Ryū didn't need to waste his time asking around. What little he learned, in that tangerine grove, was enough to start off of. No situation was ever clear and simple enough to be waved away by an empty town and scared civilians– but Ryū’s heart raced with the acknowledgment of a headier aura, pulsing just on the edges of his senses. 

They was no point straying off the straight path. His feet knew where to fall. 

(All the way at the other end. They were all huddled together. The strongest presences on the island. Nowhere impressive enough to make Ryū flinch– not even enough to make him hesitate. But it was enough to clear every street corner, every alleyway, every door and blind and shutter. It was enough to make Luffy’s future storm of a navigator go quiet, and still. He didn’t like that.) 

(There was a lot he didn’t like.)

* * *

It somehow managed to take longer and shorter than Ryū thought, to track down the first of those auras. Admittedly, he was still very adjusted to the high-risk maneuvers that came with operating on the Grand Line. Living with a smaller version of his brothers (and himself, but, _ oops, nope, _ maybe he wasn't as prepared to think about that as he thought) didn't make him any less paranoid. 

Anywhere else, they would have come to find  _ him. _ Either that or sprinted in the opposite direction. What was Ryū supposed to do with enemies that just…. Wandered cluelessly around? Did they even know he was  _ there? _

Clearly not, with the face the fishman had turned on him. 

The fishman– and oh,  _ wow, _ Ryū  _ really _ needed to ask for a name, he felt like Koala was going to physically materialize and cuff him for being rude– flexed. One of his arms reached for the gun at his hip and Ryū stopped short at the familiar dark visage of–

_ “A Sun pirate?” _ He asked, shocked. The fishman froze. Ryū pressed on, his hands flipping palm up and out of the defensive posture of his claw. “You’re– what are you  _ doing _ here? What’s going on, where’s–” he took a step forward and couldn't help the way his face twisted in confusion when the other backed away. That hand hadn't drawn the gun, but it was visibly pressed white around its hilt. He seemed as shocked as Ryū was, startled silent in the wake of Ryū’s own perplexion. 

That lingering feeling of something being wrong increased tenfold. 

Still, he owned it to Koala to at least try. He’d never hear the end of it if she caught wind he resorted to beating up a sun pirate without even trying to talk, dream or not. He was better than that. Benefit of the doubt. “What are you doing all the way out in some random village in East Blue? Did Jimbei send you?” If he remembered correctly, Koala had mentioned something about Jinbei and his pseudo-brother, something about the East Blue– “Is someone bothering you, here? If you tell me, I’m sure I can help.” 

The fishman only stumbled back another step. One, two– Oh, he was running. 

_ Benefit of the doubt.  _

The feeling was getting worse and worse. 

_...I should find this Arlong guy. Before the boys do. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the end of hiatus! Hope everybody had a good holiday season, I needed the break to focus on other things. Updates will start up again, but be slower than my every-two-weeks schedule in 2019. Hoping to take more time for better content and pace myself with my course work better ;)
> 
> hope yall enjoy. As always, you can find me over at my tumblr, [Leviathiane](https://leviathiane.tumblr.com/)


	13. Dearly Disposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last training session for the road, he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for non(semi) graphic character death, mentions of slavery, racism, etc etc

Arlong Park looked familiar and not in a good way. Not like recognizing Nami had been. 

It looked remarkably like Sabaody park. A gated, large building, fantastical and colorful in a way openly removed from the silent and suppressed air of the human town. Ryū had never seen the place himself in person before. He only had Luffy’s somewhat skewed accounts, and none of them described it in detail enough for such a… polished image. Maybe he was subconsciously drawing comparisons from Sabaody. It would make some sense, with how quickly his mind had connected the two– the same sort of behind-the-scenes violence and control. 

It didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if this was the first time his dreams had built up images he shouldn’t know. It was just doing as dreams do, expanding on what little he did know. 

(But wasn’t it weird, to see it all in such startling clarity? Ryū had never seen a picture of Nami as a little girl. He had never seen Nami, just as he had never seen Arlong Park, just as he had never seen the Orange Islands, just as he had never met Genzo or Nojiko. 

Here they were, every crack in the cement and wrinkle on their faces. 

Ryū carefully, as he did all things, folded his nervous suspicions and tucked them carefully away.)

Even in the here and now, there was enough to be disconcerting. No one had stopped him so far. No one had even tried, and Ryū was well aware that there had been plenty of opportunities to try. His stance was relaxed. Shoulders loose, gait quick but wide. None of koala's tightly controlled movements, or Hack's watchful stare. To any onlooker, he was no doubt recklessly normal. Naively arrogant of his abilities; terribly self-assured. Human in all the worst ways. 

Ryū was armed to the teeth. But no one who knew was around to expose that.

Still, he walked alone. He could sense the presences of the Fishmen stalking him. They weaved in and out of the passing buildings. Always on his heel, ducking out of sight when he turned a corner too quickly. If he was anyone else Ryū might have felt pleased to be regarded so warily.

Instead, he was just all the more paranoid. What Sun Pirate would hide from a human? Ryū was, at a glance, no threat. Just another human who believed themselves so far above repercussion. He hadn't shown his hand. Technically there was nothing to fear. He should have been easy bait— shouldn’t have to scour the island just to have a conversation. 

Grandline-born or not, Ryū kind of doubted that these people had the depth of haki to gauge  _ anything _ about him.

At least it made his work fairly quick and painless.

Ryū stepped within the waiting silence of Arlong Park. Immediately, several pairs of eyes turned towards him– eyes and weapons. Several weapons. "Hello," He waved, expression pinned into something gentlemanly. 

There they all were. All those presences, having ducked into the water and through back doors to settle around their boss before he could enter. All except the much larger one, tucked away in the deeper coastline. If the circumstances weren't as they were, Ryū would have laughed at the sheer  _ theatrics _ of it all– he had kind of missed the easy, less-bloodied drama of the Blues. "Good day to you. May I have a word?"

He had known directly from the beginning but there was no coincidence to the positioning of the crew. Their boss sat still and silent, framed by his large and imposing men. It was oddly reminiscent of something older. Like staring at a yellowed photograph in the flesh. 

Ryū took a longer look. 

...The name of the park had been familiar from the start, but this was the first time he had actually bothered to think on that further than just an acknowledgement. Ryū had never actually seen the man outside of pictures, nor heard of him outside of secondary stories. But he was no stranger to Koala's annoyed and yet fond stories of the varied crew of her childhood. He never forgot even the messy and vague recounting he ever managed to squeeze out of Luffy and his crew. 

A name with sudden clarity. Ryū _stared._ _"Arlong?"_

One of Koala's childhood rescuers stared back at him as if he was crazy. Frankly unfair, considering that Ryū was pretty sure it wasn't  _ him _ who was the crazy one here– "Of course," Arlong snapped, "Who else would I be?"

_ This is all kinds of wrong. _ Ryū made a point of always paying attention to all things Koala, but this was  _ ridiculous. _ No amount of wracking his brain was giving him any sort of useful conclusions. "No, that–" 

He needed to be calm.  _ Efficient. _ Ryū breathed in sharply and walked directly up to Arlong without giving his crew a glance.

Just as he expected, none of them stopped him. Fingers tightened on triggers and swords, but none of them twitched towards him. It was like watching a cat waiting to pounce. It was a shame he wasn’t able to dig up even an ounce of the excitement sparring his brothers would give him for it.

"What are you doing here?" Ryū asked. "I don't mean to be  _ rude _ to a Sun Pirate, of course, but this isn't exactly the kind of place– nor the kind of environment– in which I expected to find such a complacent group of fine men..." Arlong's pupils were slitting. His jaw was tense, clenched tightly enough for veins to visibly strain.  _ A very trigger-happy man, clearly. _ Or maybe it was just his own biases making a persona for a man Ryū had never met. Either way he found himself subtly shifting his grip on his pipe, preemptively apologizing to Koala. "...So do mind my manners but I am just  _ so curious why the entire island seems to be in hiding." _

The tension was thick enough to grip. Just thick enough to force Arlong onto his feet. His men all shifted with him, jerky, twitching movements as if they were forcing their bodies through them. They watched him as if unsure what he even was. It wasn’t the first time Ryū had gotten that specific brand of wariness before but here and now, with a balance so heavily and unknowingly skewed… 

"Are you a human?" Arlong finally asked. 

Ryū blinked, carefully shelving his confusion. "Yes."

It seemed to be all the crew needed. Hesitation forcefully shaken off, what was a rigidly watchful crew became relaxed and loose-limbed. Sharp grins were shot his way. Despite the tightness Ryū could still easily pick out of their bodies, they held themselves at ease.

(Almost painfully so.) 

Arlong was smirking at him as if he had already won a battle. It was honestly all Ryū had been looking, by that point. Whatever he said next would be a waste of time.

The boss stood. His hands splayed wide and open, brandishing his unprotected chest like a brag. "Another filthy  _ human," _ Arlong snarled, "Here to pretend like it has any power over me and my territory." Ryū shifted his grip on his pipe. It was times like now that he kind of missed his top hat, honestly. Even after some time had passed he felt strangely naked without the garment. "I should kill you. It would be my  _ right _ after all, with how much you have already taken from us."

Haki raced up Ryū’s arm and into his weapon. Just an instinctual push of power— casual and unthinking enough that it took Ryū a moment to let it fizzle out. He was not there to start a fistfight.

Yet. "You should know better than to mirror your history." A few flinched. Very few, few enough that the select Fishmen who did were the ones that drew Ryū’s eyes. One of them was even familiar— enough so that he was willing to pay attention. 

Ryū narrowed his eyes at the octopus Fishman. He vaguely recognized him as a friend of Luffy's. It had been a long time since he had heard the stories, but disjointed as they had been, Ryū never forgot something his dearest little brother told him. "What the hell do you think you're doing, enslaving humans just to get back at the ones who have nothing to do with them? do you think the Celestial Dragons–" Several more flinches, this time. Ryū did not relent. He refused to allow something gentle and courteous and  _ undeserving _ like understanding to make him  _ soft. _ "– would even  _ notice _ if you  _ killed _ everyone in these islands? Do you think the enslavement of a couple of citizens will make them bow to you? The torture? The murder? Do you think ransoming a stranger or two or two  _ million _ will make you feel better?” 

Luffy's future navigator was here. A spry and wary little spitfire already, without Ryū's natural disaster of a little brother. Her history stemmed from this one. It was all adjacent. 

It started here, with the death of her mother and the entrapment of her dreams. Another sparrowkeet kicked into a cage. 

He knew the feeling well, and well enough to be  _ sickened. _ "You're disgusting," Ryū decided calmly. Too calmly. Calm enough to make jerky movement and off-kilter ease go stiff and cold. He turned on his heel, flaring his aura so brightly that any yonko within miles would have paid attention.

The presences behind him came to a tangible, stumbling halt. Ryū pointedly twirled his pipe at his side as he walked, humming all the way. If any were smart, they would stay where they were. Even someone untrained would be hard-pressed to breathe in the miasma of passive haki. Ryū trusted in a Grandline Childhood to at least bring them to heel, and yet– 

"Where– Do you think we'll just  _ let _ you–" The pirate jerked into uneasy silence as Ryū calmly sidestepped him. He had promised himself not to start a fight, but he had never chosen not to hold his ground– even to a man largely outmatched. Even to a man among men Koala might have thought fondly of, once. His pipe made a home jutting into the pirate's gut. Just out of view to Arlong. But he doubted the abrupt rise in tension could be missed regardless of training. 

He could feel his brothers, all rushing towards the park with single minded focus. Ryū had been careful to teach them the little signals— the ones Dragon had drilled into him. Soundless, sightless signals that, if not Ace or Sabo, Ryū  _ knew _ Luffy would instantly flag and fixate to. 

There was no way to get lost with a beacon like Ryū standing in place– and they were going to be outside the gates very quickly.

"Pardon me," He said amicably. After all, Arlong had not given any orders. A rogue action was one responsible only by the Rogue. Ryū didn’t need to break any internal pacts just yet. "My siblings are on their way. My youngest is a big fan, you see." 

A big fan of never letting his crew members be hurt, at least. Ryū bet the real Luffy would be happy to hear that he let him get Nami's revenge twice over whether it was a dream or reality. 

It just happened to be a bonus, that they could get a little extra training in against what was probably the biggest current threat in the East Blue.

An extra little nudge for good measure, and Ryū was stepping out of the clearing. He was less surprised by how easily he was allowed to leave this time– although he wasn't truly "leaving" of any real sense. Still in sight, just outside the walls. Hopefully, Arlong's crew being born in the Grandline gave them a stronger disposition for danger. 

Or maybe they were naturally wary of the sudden and armed stranger who knew who and what they were. Ryū couldn't take credit for  _ everything  _ or Koala would smack him.

(To the untrained eye, Ryū was less than unsettling. Even in a ransacked town like Cocoyashi, Genzo had willingly approached him, hadn’t he? 

It was strange, not having a bounty again.)

Three little auras skid into view, nearly tripping over each other in their haste, and Ryū plastered an easy smile across his face. He was almost surprised at how real it still managed to be, despite the circumstances. "I hope you three left Nami's tangerine grove in one piece."

Ace and Sabo both gave him an odd look, but Luffy just nodded. "She would be really mad at us," He confirmed solemnly. As if he had years of firsthand experience. "I didn' let Ace 'r Sabo touch any." The tiny kid was so ridiculously serious even in a dream. Ryū hid a snort behind his gloves when said older brothers glared at him. 

...They were probably more unhappy to be left out of whatever secret they assumed Ryū and Luffy had, but Ryū was fine with keeping this one to himself. What was one more secret? At least this one wouldn't cause a fire.

"Good job," He praised, and Luffy glowed. "Now, are you three up to training before we go?" It was useless to ask but he always did anyway– just to see how each pair of eyes snapped to new attention.

Sabo leveled his glare to something more cautiously curious. Always the reasonable one– Ryū would have been disappointed in losing his advantages if he wasn’t so proud. "You said that we wouldn't stay long," He pointed out, "An' that there wasn't much left to teach in the Blues."

Both true. Ryū was sure he had mentioned either at some point, even if he didn't remember it. There was little use left in staying within East Blue. The bigger fish had been fried. Taking on entire crews had quickly become boring and mundane— didn’t even manage to make a dent in the trio’s collective energy, anymore. Ryū was starting to count down the days before Luffy would try to chew through the deck. The boys had all advanced painfully quickly– literally so, as they seemed to hone more and more onto defeating Ryū every single day over endurance exercises or basic strength build-up. 

_ I should have expected them to latch onto me as the biggest threat, _ he supposed,  _ but it really is as if I were training piranhas. _

"Don't sass me," Ryū chided instead, "I've got you some new sparring partners." He paused. "...Sparring partner." With as far along as they were in haki by that point it would probably just distract them and waste time to deal with Arlong’s men on top of Arlong himself. They could work on multiple targets later. Besides... he wanted to talk to the crew a little bit more. Dig into the wound that made them flinch. "How would you three like to fight Arlong?"

He really should have been surprised to see the way Luffy's jaw clenched. Even behind his lips, there was the loud squeal of grinding rubber.

The air grew chokingly heavy.  _ "I want him,”  _ Luffy said. 

No room for argument. Ace and Sabo shot a look down at their youngest and frowned. 

He should have expected it, which how weirdly attuned Luffy seemed to be, in his dreams, but– Ryū shifted plans. "Okay, Luffy got dibs on finishing him off," He announced casually, and dutifully ignored the face his two oldest shoved at him. Keep it light, keep it easy. Questions and answers could come up later– or never. "Sabo, Ace, you two should go in support. Luffy is still the youngest, and you two have too much experience in playing the frontline. Besides, we haven't gone over multiple attackers as much as you probably need to fight several enemies at once just yet." 

A massive tiger, or boars, or bears, even against Ryū it wouldn’t be the same as fistfighting half a crew at once. That kind of chaos took time to adjust to no matter the individual skill, and Ryū wasn’t about to leave it up to the Grandline to teach them. 

He would like to avoid one more nightmare of watching his brothers being slaughtered. 

Systematically taking down entire ships could come later. The Fishmen would at least make a good buffer for it, if Ryū couldn't just let them go. Maybe that was just something left to the real Luffy's expertise.

_ There is never the possibility to save everyone. Especially the ones who refuse to be saved. _

Three little hands touched him, pulling him out of his thoughts. Ryū looked up in time to see they all fling them up into the air, cheering in sync. Despite the circumstances, he couldn't help but think they looked appropriately vicious.

"Don't forget your armament," Ryū stepped to the side to let them charge past him and into the park., "Arlong’s got some real teeth in him!"

There was no response, but someone screamed and Ryū heard a definite shattering sound.

He stalked back within the manufactured walls and headed straight for the Fishmen while they were still frozen on the sidelines.

* * *

"You know you shouldn't be here, Hatchi," Ryū said quietly. For once, he meant it. This was someone he  _ recognized. _ Not for pride as a revolutionary– not even as a living bank of information– but as a brother. Hatchi was a name he knew, and Ryū settled back into his job with a familiarity he hadn't realized he had been missing. "What are you doing so far from home?"

The fishman finally met his eyes. It took visible effort to drag his stare up from where it had settled on the bodies at Ryū's feet. Ryū wasn't all too sure what he had expected, but to not have to fight at all– or more– wasn't a bad outcome. It had been a long time since the people he fought had the foolishness to freeze up. 

"I had to," he whispered. "I-It's– I thought–"

Ryū stared.

"– _ know _ that this isn't right. But Arlong–"

The stench of smoky, salty meat only seemed to thicken. It wasn't appetizing. Hatchi's skin looked raw from heat. There was no sense in faltering. Ryū hadn't had that sort of luxury in a long time. It probably wasn't kind of him, to take that same joy from Hatchi.  _ "What are you doing so far from home?" _

Hatchi's eyes hit the floor again. "We're enslaving humans." His swords shook in his hands.

"Right."

"It's– I know it isn't right. I know. I know! Arlong shouldn't–  _ I  _ shouldn't be following this. Him. We're no better than..."

Hatchi trailed off, and Ryū allowed his hands to stop burning. His lungs, as they always did, carried the phantom ache of smoke. 

He was a good big brother, after all.

(Luffy loved to talk about his friends. All of them. For as difficult as it was to get the pirate's account about any event, he was all too ready to talk about the people he met along the way. It had been a while since he had heard it but Ryū never forgot. He would write it all down once, twice, five times if it meant he never forgot something again.)

(Koala would have been happy to hear he let the man go. That tended to be against both Revolutionary and Koala's policies– but even she had some soft spots. ...It admittedly helped his decision that Luffy had made the same one himself once.)

Which was the only reason he turned his back to address the approaching figures instead.

Nami skid to a stop, eyes pinning just past Ryū. He dutifully ignored the quiet splash behind him. Nojiko was close behind her sister. Unlike Nami, she hesitated before the massive park gates. Ryū wasn't surprised to see her run to her sister's side regardless, looking more than ready to shove Nami behind her if Ryū so much as twitched. But in the moment his brother’s crewmate only had eyes for him.

...and him her. His brother's nakama deserved the respect of his attention.

"You let him get away," she accused quietly. Despite her sister's attempts to stop her, she marched right up to Ryū. Face him head-on, toe to toe. Even when she was forced to tilt her head way back just to catch his eye, she stood as firmly as he knew she would have in her real, adult body– brimming with fire hot enough to try to challenge him. He had always admired that sort of ferocity of Luffy's crew. It was nice to know that trust extended to his dreams. "Why did you let him get away?"

_ Because out of all of them, you still call Hatchi "him". _

Ryū smiled pleasantly. "Let who get away?"

She stared at him. Her face twitched, as if unsure whether she was free to scowl or not. He was unfairly excited to see her settle on a glare.

Nami didn't get the chance to say whatever she clearly wanted. Genzo finally reached his daughters, warily picking his way past the bits of rubble that had gotten hurled near the gates. It was only his heavy panting that stopped him from immediately yelling the way he looked like he wanted too. 

Genzo glared Ryū down suspiciously– looking equally torn between scolding him or the girls.

He turned on Ryū. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" Genzo snapped. "Leaving like that, causing a– your boys just ran out, and I don't know what the  _ hell _ you've been teaching them but–"

Somewhere further into the park Ryū heard the distinct crack of concrete. Something snapped violently. A feral sounding noise came from the higher floors, followed by three more. Genzo looked seconds from reaching for a gun. He only looked sicker when he remembered that it wasn't there.

Ryū just continued to smile blithely.

Genzo gaped for a moment, eyes darting between him, the girls, and the rubble. Every so often, Ryū was sure there was a rubber fist flying free of the tower. Luffy's haki always had an odd little  _ ripple _ in it whenever he stretched. "I– you–  _ are they  _ in _ there?" _

Out of all the things to focus on, and the man chose Ryū’s (admittedly less-than-stellar) child rearing decisions? Ryū had no idea he cared so much for his subconscious to scold him. He... wasn't actually sure what to say to that.

It didn't seem to matter. Genzo clearly had  _ plenty _ to say. The man was  _ seething. _ It was only Ryū's training that stopped him from lighting up the moment Genzo's fists twisted into his lapels.  _ "You let them in there?!" _ He snarled. "Do you have  _ any _ idea what– they're going to  _ die!" _

Another chunk of rubble hit the pavement and Ryū wondered who Genzo was trying to fool. He was halfway certain that that was Ace he had just heard cackling. "They'll be fine. I'm keeping an eye on them."

"Keeping an–" His eyes twitched, pulling at scar tissue. Ryū was starting to worry Genzo was going to burst a blood vessel somewhere.  _ "This _ is what you call– What kind of–"

_ "Ryū-nii!" _ Ryū immediately spun on his heel, hand flying to his pipe. Genzo thankfully kept the girls back as he blocked Arlong's body from smashing into them, allowing him to freely focus on the teeth biting into the metal of his weapon.

Luffy bounced to the pavement a moment after Sabo's shout. Ryū would have given anything to be able to turn and see Genzo's face at that moment.

Instead, he looked at Luffy.

It was  _ unfair _ for something so adorable to look so intense. Luffy's entire body was rigid. He didn't look up to acknowledge Ryū beyond edging around him to get to Arlong, his gaze singularly trained on the Fishman. Even with him bloodied and bruised Luffy watched Arlong as though staring down a hissing cobra. 

Nami made a bitten off noise behind him. Ryū didn’t turn even as Luffy's eyes immediately flicked up.

Rubber arms wound around Arlong's torso and Ryū watched as his face went pale. His teeth wrenched out of Ryū's pipe. "No," he managed to choke out, eyes huge– and then Ryū was left trying to block out the sun enough to see wherever the Fishman and his littlest brother landed.

A hand tugged on his sleeve. Ryū smiled down at Ace as he stumbled out of the rubble, ruffling what looked like a bucketful of cement dust and wood splinters out of his hair. "Welcome back," He greeted easily. "Did you see where Luffy landed?" His brothers had good restraint. It was one of the first things Ryū had bothered with when he worked past the basics. The kind of restraint that couldn't be learned with a little brother made of rubber. The kind Ryū wanted to make sure they demonstrated when it came to what happens to someone you've beaten.

Ace gestured vaguely off towards the remains of the building. "Sabo's still with 'im," he added. "Are we gonna stay for lunch before we go?" 

Ryū shrugged, already nudging rubble aside to get towards where Ace pointed. He could vaguely hear Genzo hissing behind him, his presence erratically jerking forward as Nami darted away from her family and picked her way after them. 

As long as he didn't react, neither would Ace. Ryu kept his eyes forward. "yeah, if you want to. I wouldn't mind– these guys probably have some cash stashed in here." The park was still fairly intact. Ryū did not doubt that whatever money they stole was still stored somewhere inside. Most of it would go back to the people, but they wouldn't miss what Ryū took. He would use it while still in the Isles anyway. "Was Sabo worried?"

Sabo was always the more watchful of the boys, but even he knew they would be fine. Ryū trusted them implicitly to handle Arlong. With the way the fight had panned out, Ryū doubted Sabo truly felt the need to keep an eye out for Luffy.

Ace shrugged. He kicked lightly at the ruins, coughing when he accidentally inhaled some dust. "He was actin' kinda weird," He admitted. It was said quietly, grey eyes scanning the rubble as if checking Sabo wasn't about to pop into hearing range. "Like back at... Back in the city. Back in Goa."

Ryū wasn't entirely sure what that meant yet.

He used his pipe to knock away a large chunk of debris in his path. "I see." 

_ I'm sure it's fine. _ Sabo was almost always fine. All of the boys were. For all that Ryū worried, they were largely independent. Not that he ever expected them to be dependent on  _ him– _ Ryū remembered his childhood enough to know "dependence" wasn't a word that ever seemed to apply to him or his siblings. A dream wouldn't change that. Even if they did manage to stick their hands into every wasp nest while looking for honey.

They were just another slab of fallen concrete away. "Luffy," Ryū called. Immediately, the smallest sibling looked up from where he sat, legs swinging off the chunk of rubble he sat on– but he wasn't the one Ryū was worried about. Despite Luffy's earlier posturing, the boy's eyes were clear of anger. The sheer innocence, in the way he blinked at his two older brothers, was almost as if they had just stumbled in on him watching bugs. 

Ryū continued to stare, face neutral and body silent. "Sabo." He did not comment on Ace latching a fist onto the back of his shirt. "Stop. He's had enough."

Sabo refused to raise his head. Luffy had been allowed to shoulder most of the brunt work, but Ryū recognized the thin, almost slice like marks among the blunt trauma of bruises to be his counterpart's handiwork. Even with a pipe, Sabo had loved  _ precision.  _

It wasn't the time for that. Arlong was not a threat. Not any longer– and never had been, to them. The Fishman practically dangled from Sabo's small grip, broken and beaten beyond awareness.

Sabo's grip shined with the obsidian of haki spotting up into his sleeves.

"Sabo," Ryū repeated, "Come here, please."

He knew the look in his eyes. Saw it constantly, if he got the chance to look in a mirror. He saw it in every dark window he glanced at, at every puddle of rain he stepped past. It had become even more familiar than even a smile, at some point.

That did not mean it was comforting when carved into his younger self's face. Was that what  _ he _ had looked like, before Dragon found him? It was how he looked now, certainly, but Sabo was still a child. They were  _ all _ still children. Ryū had taken them to allow them that, to give them what he had never gotten, so  _ why– _

"We can't let him go," Sabo finally ground out. The words grit between his teeth as if he was fighting the urge to chew on them. Spat out like blood on his gums. "He hurt these people. They didn't do  _ anything _ to him. He was..."

"He'll never hurt Nami again," Luffy murmured. Ryū looked down as his littlest brother trod slowly over to join him and Ace, movements uncharacteristically sluggish with satisfaction.  _ "Never ever." _

The words should have been reassuring. Their work was done. Luffy's future navigator was healthy and happy, and her isle freed.

Ryū watched Sabo's shoulders tighten and wondered how he could have pretended this wasn't bound to happen.

"He was  _ hurting _ people," He snapped. "He was treating them like slaves, like..."

There was nothing fun or exciting in watching his little brother flinch under a touch to his shoulder. Ryū didn't pull away regardless, though he waited until Sabo relaxed into his hand to speak. "Trauma can sometimes make you into what you hate," He said quietly. It always,  _ always _ hurt to hear. "You  _ know _ this, Sabo."

_ The apple never falls far from the tree. _

Sabo shuddered violently and dropped Arlong's body like a tank of brinks. Ryū caught his arms as he recoiled, kneeling in time to just barely stop him from curling into himself. From exposing them both. Ace and Luffy knew a lot, and brothers did not keep secrets.

(But they never needed to learn every scar's story on their shared bodies. Ryū still had the silver slivers from expensive wine bottles shattering across his skin, thrown books and cane welts. The studded, faded remnants of a hand ringed in glittering jewels.)

"Sabo?" Ace abruptly broke Ryu's focus. The hand tightened against his back. Sabo stiffened in his grasp. "Why–"

"Ace, go with Luffy back to where Nami is," Ryu ordered firmly.

"But–"

"She's going to find us." He could feel her little light, inching closer and closer over scattered ruins and around dented pathways. Towards them. Towards where Arlong's body was still laying, unresponsive, against the crumbling concrete. "She shouldn't have to see this."

Unlike Luffy, she would know exactly what Arlong was. 

He just barely allowed himself to relax when Luffy grabbed onto his older brother and dragged Ace away. It didn't last– one look back down at Sabo and Ryū was tense all over again. "Hey," he said quietly, "it's been taken care of. There's nothing more to be done."

Sabo's fingers were still a solid black where they dug into Ryū's forearms– but at least now they shook. A little hairline tremble, shaking apart the black until only his fingertips were off-color. Ryū wasn't entirely sure yet whether he was to thank exhaustion or surrender. "He was trying to enslave them, Ryū-nii," He whispered. "He locked up the whole isle. Did you know he shot Nami's mom?"

He did. Sabo held him a little tighter. "He shot her," He continued to whisper, "He killed her in cold blood because of– because they couldn't, couldn't  _ pay _ him to live in  _ their own home." _

His eyes were dark. Ocean blue, the kind that drowned. Sabo finally met Ryū’s eyes and he  _ burned _ . "I don't regret killing him," He hissed. "He  _ deserved _ it. They all did."

How was Ryū supposed to argue a concept he  _ agreed _ with? Somehow, it didn't feel right to watch a child with his own conviction– even if the child was himself. Even in a dream. Something about it felt too  _ heavy _ for a child to decide to swallow. 

(Hadn't Ryū taken them specifically so they wouldn't feel the need to bite these sorts of bullets?)

Sabo relaxed fully into his arms as he hugged him close, uncaring that Sabo had to step up onto his thighs to manage it. No one was around to watch him tuck his little brother,  _ himself, _ under his chin. "I know," He whispered conspiratorially. "I get it. Trust me."

Arlong's body was cold and empty of light and presence. Nothing more than another piece of rubble.

Ryū pressed Sabo's face to his shoulder, standing with him in his arms. The boys had seen plenty, over the years. Disgusting things. Ryū couldn't even recall half the crimes they had already borne witness to, at such a young age– he only had the ways they remained to fuck him up later. If he had his way, Sabo wouldn't look, and Luffy wouldn't know.

Ace wouldn't say a word. Unlike Sabo, this wouldn't be the first time.

"I get it."

_ Let me handle the disposal next time. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a _solid_ coupla months, hasnt it... ~~I’ll be real it partially took so long because I flat out forgot my own characterizations ajdbxhbffb~~
> 
> thank you for your patience! I hope everybody be doin okay in this quarantine. ill try to keep up momentum and work on the next parts once i finish editing my OPBB so that there isnt such a long wait next time lmfao
> 
> As always, you can find me over at my tumblr, [Leviathiane](https://leviathiane.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Whelp, I actually wrote this 2 weeks ago in short bursts at 4am and then refused to post it bc i wanted to edit it but couldn't find the motivation to do so. 
> 
> So to compromise, here it is unedited, and hopefully by posting it ill find the resolve to edit it and its other chapters lmao


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